Husband says he has the ick and criticises my habits

[GotTheIckWithMe]

Dh has told me he’s ’got The ick’

That over the last few months he’s needed more time away from me as ‘little things were annoying’ and he can’t put up with certain ‘habits’ anymore. He thinks I’m lazy and he worries about the image I have and how that will affect the dc.

We used to go out once a week but he stopped that two weeks ago and made excuses. He’s now said he can’t stand the way I act when out and how I eat. I’m quite shy and he finds it ‘embarrassing’ . He’s very chatty and sociable.

I don’t know what I’m meant to do ?

Him saying that would give me the ick, speak to a solicitor and start mentally moving on, you can do better.

I'm sorry OP: I think he is comparing you with someone at the new job.

You don't just suddenly find someone annoying otherwise. This is all pretty quick. Ick can grow over many months/years or it can come quickly because of a particular incident but this ick sounds more like a blame game.

Don't feel the blame. This will be about him not you.

Do the duck alignment.

He sounds like a cunt.

This is horrible. You don’t eat weirdly, you eat. We all need to eat and should feel comfortable eating, let alone with our partner! I’m not sure if this is technically gaslighting, but fits into the category of making you
doubt yourself, questioning things you’d never worried about and making you feel less worthy.

Mate, he's a cunt.

He’s going to have a big shock soon when he is either living alone or moved in with his likely OW - let’s see if she’s happy to work full time, do 100% of all housework for him and look after his kids for him.

He sounds absolutely horrible OP! I’m so sorry he’s being so cruel to you - it’s definitely not you that’s the problem, it’s him! Totally agree with the above post. You need to be the smart one here.

I also think he’s met someone. Maybe at work hence the “overtime” so he can excuse spending time with her, the “stress” so he can emotionally distance himself from you and now the picking fault in everything you do so you feel constantly on the back foot, anxious to challenge him and he can rewrite history and make it all your fault when he leaves. Cherchez la femme. Or ideally take back the power and tell him he doesn’t make you happy anymore and you’re thinking of leaving. See what he does.

Oh my god OP that’s simply abusive.

If he says something like that again, say calmly, I won’t stay to be insulted, and leave. End of conversation.

He’s in the way out, so slam the door and take control.

He’s a b’stard. Don’t put up with him saying these cruel nasty things to you.

Ah, so it’s a younger woman then.

He's an arsehole. Why are you doing all the heavy lifting at home AND gettting criticised for hiring help in since he doesn't do HIS SHARE. Not help you, his share!

He's probably had his head turned and he's looking to blame you for him leaving. I'd quietly get legal advice, keep an eye on your accounts and the important documents, etc

I'm afraid I would put money on him having his eye on someone else. Prepare yourself. Decide what you want, never mind him.

Agree I always think take back the power.

So you both work full time, you both live in the house, eat and sleep in the house but you do all the washing up, cooking, cleaning/prep for and payment of the cleaner, laundry, shopping, meal planning etc. and he does the (in my opinion much more fun) gardening that requires a lot less time and energy? Who makes sure the kids are ok? Uniform? Homework? Activities etc?

Sorry, who is lazy?

Who us setting a bad example for the kids?

How’s his eating?

He is projecting his flaws on to you.

He is an abusive pig. I’m fuming in your behalf. You deserve much better.

Ha, I mean if having a cleaner is lazy. Guilty. It would be funny if it wasn’t serious. He’s got a bloody cheek.

Dump the prick, OP

What an absolute prick.
.
I would be astonished if there wasn't another woman in the mix.

But even without that he's an utter prick. You're worth so much more. Get rid and be happy.

Sounds like someone’s caught his eye and a bit more.
Whether or not that’s true though you don’t deserve to be put down like this so walk away with your head held high or he’s going to absolutely destroy you. It’s abusive and bullying don’t let him do it to you any more.

He gives me the ick!
Like others have said I wouldn’t surprised if he is having an affair. Either that or he is projecting his insecurities onto you.

Have a read through this board. Time to get your ducks in a row. There is loads of good advice on here.

I'm sure you've got the ick big style now OP. Please don't put up with this ridiculous nonsense. He's grinding you down and undermining your confidence so that when he runs off with his bit you will be malleable and on the back foot. Take control and take your life back. Honestly, I think he's done you a favour...get out while you're still young and enjoy the rest of your life 💐

I would start preparing quietly for him to leave. He sounds checked out and will drop the bomb some time soon. I’m sorry x

If he finds reasons to be annoyed with you then he doesn’t have to feel quite so bad about what he’s doing elsewhere. Eg “ He deserves to be happy because you’re so awful”