Husband says he has the ick and criticises my habits

[GotTheIckWithMe]

Dh has told me he’s ’got The ick’

That over the last few months he’s needed more time away from me as ‘little things were annoying’ and he can’t put up with certain ‘habits’ anymore. He thinks I’m lazy and he worries about the image I have and how that will affect the dc.

We used to go out once a week but he stopped that two weeks ago and made excuses. He’s now said he can’t stand the way I act when out and how I eat. I’m quite shy and he finds it ‘embarrassing’ . He’s very chatty and sociable.

I don’t know what I’m meant to do ?

What a horrible man. Be prepared for the possibility that he’s cheating.

Well I don't think much of him either.

All about him isn't he? How dare he criticise all you are.

Please, unless you're an absolute slob when eating which I doubt, do not change any of you for his majesty.

I understand having the ick but this sounds like a whole character assassination.

Almost like trying to rewrite history, wonder why...

Almost falling over himself to tell you too. Just horrible.

over the last few months he’s needed more time away from me

And where is he going when he has this time away from you OP ?
Because I'm afraid it sounds suspiciously like the Script. Finding all these faults with you to excuse him withdrawing from your relationship.
It sounds as though he may have his eye on someone else.

Get a really good solicitor.

How long have you been together? If he really does have the ick then he has it. He'll be looking for an exit strategy if he doesn't already have one.

You're married and he talks like that? He sounds like a child.

He’s making his plans to leave. Start preparing yourself.

15 years together. He got a new job last year and has been saying it’s stressful and that he’s relied on too much there, has had to do overtime etc. I can’t work out if he’s genuinely stressed or he’s saying it’s work to throw me off something else.

I got a cleaner (with my money !) and apparently this is ‘a bad image and example to the dc), he thinks I’m lazy. In the past he’s been supportive kind and not like this at all. It’s since the new job , he’s changed not me.
I don’t eat badly I’m just always a bit anxious eating out but he wanted these weekly meals out / date nights and he just seems so irritated by me now.

Being stressed can be difficult, and can make people act in ways that aren't normal for them, but that doesn't excuse them from responsibility for their actions.

The things you've quoted are petty and disrespectful of you, and your relationship.

He needs to buck his ideas up, quickly.

Wow, if my husband said that to me, he'd soon be my ex husband! What a tosser 😠 you deserve so much better than him, don't stay with someone who treats you like that!

Oh overtime. Ok. And taking time away from you because you are the problem. Ok.

you know he’s fucking around. This isn’t about you. It never was about you.

he Will and say it’s about you. It isn’t And when he starts up again, just look him in the eye and tell him this isn’t about me And you can’t make it about me To make yourself feel better about what you’re doing

We both, This is all about you

How old is he @GotTheIckWithMe?
He is being very unkind but I guess you know that.
Try and emotionally detach a bit and find things that you enjoy - do at least one each day.

Sorry to say it but he’s cheating or is leading up to it.

Absolutely nothing wrong with having a cleaner, he's talking nonsense.

I agree with @Ritaskitchen , try to emotionally detach abit and find things that you enjoy. How about doing something you enjoy once a week instead of going out with him...he can babysit instead.

Well new job, new "friend" and now everything about you is wrong.

I also think it's The Script. New job - check. Being out a lot more - check. Putting the blame for his increasing distance on you - check.

He's got his eye on someone else, even if he's not actually deep in the throes of an affair. I'm afraid your marriage is done, it's nothing to do with you and everything to do with him deciding to look elsewhere.

Lawyer up and harden your heart, OP. It really isn't you, but you can't stay married to him anyway, so it doesn't matter what he thinks.

Unfortunately I would lay money on him having his head turned.

Can you get legal advice?

My exBIL did this to my DSis. More overtime at work.. Occasionally working so late that he missed the last train and had to stay over in the city. Increased criticism of her … her voice, her clothes, her personality.

He was shagging a 22 year old on the side.

It sounds like he’s met someone through his new job. Don’t take anything he says to heart, he’s just trying to make himself feel better about what he’s doing behind your back.

Sorry, OP. Get a good solicitor lined up.

New job eh!!!
I think it is more like another woman has caught his eye.

Cherchez la femme, OP. She’s there somewhere.

He sounds appalling ...no one gets to speak to you like that and keep your respect and affection. No excuses. You deserve better.

Get a handle on finances and your rights OP

I remember when my husband started criticising the way I ate, and he would do impressions of the way I did it.

Six months later and we had split, and he had gone and got another woman pregnant.

He's looking for a way out.

Start getting your ducks in a row and step back from him. Make a solicitor's appointment to see where you would stand with divorce.

He's met someone else.