Why do men cheat if their wife is beautiful?

[Leyna2]

Hi everyone does anyone know why a man who has a stunning wife that he loves still looks around for other options or cheats? It’s something I can never understand. If they have a gorgeous wife, and a loving happy marriage why do they risk it all for no reason? Thanks

Its an interesting one because I have caught myself thinking this and then going - hold on, is that really what I think holds 'power'? (The power to reduce the likelihood of men cheating) outer beauty?
There's some even more interesting and uncomfortable questions and thoughts that come up when confronted with this scenario. Do I think that we ask ourselves these questions (why cheat on a beautiful wife) because subconsciously we have been trained beauty=value, and its not so much a question of 'how can he look at anyone else with her at home' and more 'why would he risk losing a woman who is deemed high value by society' or to go one step further, 'i have been trained all my life by society to subconsciously crave to be beautiful, and to find out that the thing you are told by society from every angle that you should want, would not make you immune, is simply imcomprehensible' it bring with it a sense of despair and outrage - when men have EVERYTHING, they still want more. We diet and dye and pluck and shave and tan and whiten our teeth and agonise over outfits and get surgery and fillers and spend hours and hours on beauty, only to find out that you are still at a man's whim. You can do everything 'right' and still be discarded, find out you arent enough.

Note: if you dont recognise the description of societal conditioning above, or think that its simple to just 'not do any of that' im really pleased for you, but thats not everyone's experience in the slightest.

Yes!

Some men have have an insatiable appetite for attention. They love the intrigue, the chasing, the flirting and the validation, huge ego boost and feelings of triumph of when a beautiful women returns their advances. They are preoccupied by thinking about women other than their poor wife.

I think it’s often a power trip.

The Coolidge effect.

Because you never know what goes on behind closed doors

I caught the tailend of an interview by some therapist...an American cant remember her name. Her take on men having affairs is that they are wanting to reinact how it was in the very early days with their wife...the honeymoon period. And because if there in front of them, because it's there and they can 🤷‍♀️ cant say no

There is much more to life than beauty - the looks are utterly irrelevant for a long term relationship like marriage - and a loving marriage in public might not be so in private

What does beauty have to do with it? If someone is a cheat, they're a cheat.
I have some beautiful shoes, it doesn't mean that I only wear them shoes and have no interest in any others. The next pair I buy doesn't need to be more beautiful than the ones I have, they just have to catch my eye and be what I want.
I have a beautiful house, I'm still going on holidays because they're fun and exciting, I like a change of scenery and trying new things.
I can't get my head around why you have asked this question.

But why do men need their ego’s boosted so much? I get uncomfortable when I get random men’s attention so I don’t understand why with men it’s the opposite, they seem to crave female attention even if it’s random strangers

Men or women sometimes can't resist the pull of attraction. It doesn't matter if they are fit, gorgeous, dressed well, nothing beats presence and a mutual connection. Humans are basic animals and the desire and urge will strike whether we want it to or not. Most ignore those urges. If a couple are truly loved up, infidelity wouldn't happen as love surpasses all. However, how many couples stay in that state of 'loved up'.

Per-Andropause ( Previously the sports car and younger woman trope)

Honestly and crudely, from experience, the most beautiful women are not always the best shags. Never underestimate the attraction of a powerful sexual woman!!

Exactly.

OP - you are very young. And you still seemingly do not understand, or don't want to accept that men and women are indeed different.
Just because YOU get uncomfortable at the random men's attention - does not mean everybody has to feel the same.
Men do - in general - like attention. It's not right or wrong. And on it's own it does not have to mean that they will cheat. But it's just how they are.
Women, btw - don't ALL hate attention. Some do, some don't. Younger (and OK looking) women get a lot more attention, and a lot of it is unwanted - so it's clear naturally, women in that age group would rather not have as much.
But there are plenty of women who don't seem as visible - and they don't mind attention - for them it's boosting to their self esteem.

As to to why men cheat - as others said, there are different reasons. Often - opportunity and lust.

Men who rate good looks highest of all desirable qualities marry beautiful women. Then carry on rating good looks highest.

The most cheated on women are size 10. Allegedly.

Men are biologically programmed to spread their seed.

Luckily we, men and women are more programmed to nurture the family.

I know women who were serial cheaters too. I think with both sexes it can be needing validation.

I couldn't deal with 2 simultaneous relationships, never mind the subterfuge
and lying...

I do have friends who are married to the man they cheated with. I don't judge, just happy for them that they dared to take that step for happiness.

Because it generally has absolutely nothing to do with the man’s wife.

It’s all to do with his arrogance, ego, love of himself and because he can.

Any tips on knowing how a man is not likely to cheat & the right choice to be with/marry? Thanks

Yup this.

And IME the men who go for very attractive women are just voracious for more.

Because it’s about him not her. He acts the way he does because of the way he is, not the way she is. Men like this are usually insecure and need an ego boost. Or emotionally immature and impulsive and don’t think about the consequences.

I remember Hugh Grant & Liz Hurley at the Four Weddings premier, Hurley wearing ‘that’ dress looking so gorgeous.
Not long after Hugh got the horn in LA & was arrested in his car whilst receiving a blowie from prostitute called Divine Brown.
So I don’t think it matters how amazing the woman is in the relationship, if the man decides he wants extra sex then sadly he’ll go for it…

Because the men are insecure & want validation. Happened to me and I was confident enough to know it was nothing to do with me or our relationship but his own failings and insecurities. Was disappointed in him and lost all respect for him and that was the end of that.

Yep!

Nobody knows what goes on in any marriage. It can all look right, including the looks of the cheated upon but the relationship may be experienced as loveless or lacking in fun or controlling or dull or even abusive. I know quite a few people, male and female who have had affairs and in all cases it was not about how the other man or woman looked but how they made them feel - special, loveable, seen and yes, fuckable. The dynamics of human relatiinships are so complex and in my experience, there is no one type of person who has an affair.

You don't have to look at the mantlepiece when you're poking the fire 🙄 (according to men)

I was cheated on with a less attractive woman than me. My ex was very handsome. I was pretty but not stunning or anything but the girl he went with....well people were stocked.

On the other hand I was with someone for a few months on and off who I really shouldn't have been. He is not conventionally attractive but there was something about him that drew me to him. It was the best sex ever too.

I think attraction is different to how 'good looking" someone is....

Also some men (and women!) Are never happy with what they have! The Hugh Grant example is a good one...