Why do men cheat if their wife is beautiful?

[Leyna2]

Hi everyone does anyone know why a man who has a stunning wife that he loves still looks around for other options or cheats? It’s something I can never understand. If they have a gorgeous wife, and a loving happy marriage why do they risk it all for no reason? Thanks

I just think men like the thrill. Dopamine hit.

Does anyone follow The Coles? I live in Coventry and know someone who slept with Shane Cole at Christmas. She’s currently black mailing him for £££ as he’s due to renew his vows soon with his wife.

Acts like the worlds best husband on socials.

Lack of morals and probably not raised right

My sister always said that a man can have steak at home but if offered a cheeky kebab he ll eat it.

Agree with PP who said it is a form of misogyny, as well as often men who were not popular as teenagers.

my tale:
A very old friend repeatedly told me he was in love with me over a thirty year period. Eventually, we got together. He sat and told me his life story with his other girlfriends (who I’ve known) and alarm bells should have gone off. His first lt girlfriend was so amazing, had everything in common with him, fun and beautiful. He told me he met a married woman 30 years older than him at a pub and started an affair while she was at university. His wife (also really lovely) he cheated on early on and it shaped their whole relationship. Lo and behold, a week after he told me he loved me my friend saw him on Tinder offering ‘no-strings hookups’. I was very shocked that he could have campaigned for me to like him for almost half his life and then done that. He didn’t seem especially remorseful. He’s a sensitive seeming and mid looks guy. It was a baffling and hurtful (but mostly baffling) interlude.

Some men go for beautiful wives as a status symbol but find the sex more interesting elsewhere. Some men like to have sex with lots of women. Some people loose interest in their partner regardless of what they look like. People are often attracted to things other than looks. Men and women sometimes put very attractive people on a pedestal and project all their ideal partner fantasies on to them. They can get quite angry and disillusioned when the person turns out to be normal and flawed like everyone else and feel justified in cheating. There will be many other reasons besides these ones.

Because most men secretly feel like they are the most special specimen on the planet and should be able to do whatever they want, as long as they can get away with it. It doesn't matter how wonderful their wife is.

not condoning cheating in anyway… but that’s such a vapid comment. Looks aren’t everything!!’
just because someone is stunning looking they could be a total bore, unkind, controlling etc etc …

is this what our society has become ???
Our value is purely based on looks??

Because they’re basic and they want some strange.

Because being unfaithful has nothing to do with who you are in a relationship with and everything to do with how you feel about yourself. Combine low self esteem with weak morals and there you have it.

Exactly.

A man who chooses a wife based on her beauty is more likely to cheat imo because the ‘love’ is based on something superficial.

This rhetoric always baffled me. What if they cheat on Margot Robbie with Maya Jama? Both beautiful women but different. That’s partly why they cheat, because the new woman is different. Not necessarily prettier or smarter or funnier or kinder or whatever, just different.

It’s not all about being stunning.

But the hottest sex is the sex you aren’t supposed to be having, it’s so much more of a thrill. No matter how beautiful or great your wife is, you’re allowed to shag her, supposed to, maybe sometimes feel
you should.
Never underestimate the power of the taboo.

Maybe shallow men who are mostly interested in sex are more likely to pursue and marry beautiful women.

Why do men cheat if their wife is beautiful?
Because they want to have sex with more than one woman.
Because they enjoy the thrill of cheating.
Because being beautiful may not go with being sexually compatible.
Because they find some other women more attractive than their beautiful wife.
Because they are bored and the opportunity comes up.
Lots of reasons really.

What a shallow thread, jeez I despair.

Because you’re putting too much emphasis on looks. Would you also ask, why would a man cheat if his wife was kind, generous and loving? Or if she was the MAIN bread winner, Supported him in business and great in bed?

but no, all too often people focus on the looks and think why would he cheat if his wife looks like that?

Attraction isn’t 100% based on looks. A lot of attraction is about how the cheetah feels around the other person not what the other person looks like

Novelty is a big factor too produces massive amounts of dopamine. This sort of dopamine that you don’t get from a long-term relationship

this also ease an availability. If another woman is available and is a certainty that requires little work to get them that can be appealing to a man.

Convenience ease, certainty validation, novelty, huge drivers to attraction

I work with couples and infidelity as a therapist.

It almost always comes down to some sort of deep attachment wound which may show up in a number of ways. When individuals haven't experienced a stable and secure attachment to their primary caregiver in childhood, then it's very hard to know how to love and be loved and trust that it is stable and secure. You might recreate situations where it's unstable and untrustworthy because that affords a sense of control. Or you may find you go towards any kind of love or attention that's offered in case you might not get it again.

There can be cultural factors as well. Some cultures are very misogynistic and women are not seen as fully realised individuals in their own right. Rather as interchangeable objects existing for their service and gratification. Even then, it can come back to attachment because male children born into these types of cultures are denied forming a secure and deep attachment to their mothers because of the misogyny they witness from pre-verbal onwards. When a child witnesses one's own mother not treated as fully autonomously human, that can be annihilating to the child's sense of self. Then they grow up and become unfaithful men as a result and the cycle continues.

Speaking very generally, if it's not an attachment wound, then it's usually some sort of escape from a relationship that feels entrapping - perhaps because it's abusive, but maybe also because one spouse is intolerably dependent on the other due to mental health issues, illness, etc.

That’s a personality flaw / moral failing, in my opinion.

it has nothing to do with your cousin. No one woman would be enough for him.

I am aware of men who have cheated due to issues in the marriage resulting in lack of intimacy, for various reasons. Some of these marriages have broken down, some have resolved the intimacy issue and got over the cheating.

By and large, humans desire sex. And if they are not getting it at home, they often look for it elsewhere. But if they ARE getting it at home and still look for it elsewhere…that’s a whole different ballgame, in my opinion.

My marriage has been without intimacy for nearly 5 years now, we get on really well and she still occasionally shows small signs that she's still there such as a hand on the back or a hand hold, the kids have a nice life and want for nothing, as a red blooded male i have to say i haven't once considered cheating on her, out of respect for her and our vows mainly (not that i'm in any way religious) i've already been told that i have 2 choices, be celibate or leave the marriage and be sexually active again. Now i can't say i'm happy with that ultimatum but to be fair i respect her decision, she doesn't want it and she doesn't want me to have it while i'm married which i can't argue with really, the point i'm trying to make is that not everyone will cheat even when they have been without intimacy for extended periods of time. It's all down to the individual. If i wanted to be intimate again i would separate first after a discussion rather than burn my bridges and give my kids the wrong impression about what marriage means.

It's nothing to do with looks. Men are ruled by their dicks. End of. Remember when all the stories came out about Wayne Rooney? He was fucking old women, young women, good looking women and average women. As long as they had a pulse he wasn't bothered what they looked like.

On here a while ago .a lady couldnt see why she was being cheated on when she had lost loads of weight .To a bigger girl .Her friend said it doesnt matter hun what they look like its just someone different!

Some men had fathers who were also cheaters and sometimes history repeats itself. They usually think they won’t get caught so decide to risk their marriages as sad as that is

Looks really are your whole worth as a woman- you're stupid if you don't think that.

SnappyUmberLion Kristen Stewart isn't and has never been attractive. Very miserable and butch looking- wasn't surprised when she started dating women.

All of the women I've known who have been cheated on/left for another woman have been successful high fliers- the man was every time an absolute useless toad.

Some words of advice: Never date a man less attractive than you, never date bisexuals (they can NOT be trusted) and avoid the bald, "dynamic" types (painfully insecure).