Found DH ChatGPT conversation considering an affair or leaving me.

[BeachFace]

My husband doesnt understand ChatGPT and that conversations are saved and neatly labelled. So today I saw a conversation on the PC at home "marriage troubles"

In a long conversation he says the following

"I couldn't care less about how she feels. I care about how i feel. Im not interested in what's she thinks. I care about my own feelings and my kids" (in resposne to ChatGPT trying to say I have feelings too)

"She's a hormonal mess. Adhd probably too looking at her. Bored of having to support her or listen to her. I deserve affection"

"How to make her sit down and listen and reflect on her behaviour"

"Weighing up whether to get affection from elsewhere or just leave her"

I haven't cherrypicked bits. There isn't one message that shows any love for me.

The weird thing as I read it I felt relief rather than sadness

I actually asked for a divorce in 2025 after he was so horrible to me after birth of our kids. And he begged me and committed to therapy. Lots of "i know it's a two way thing and I need to make some effort"

This is a man who does bare minimum and ive tolerated it for a long time,but who begged me to stay and promised to work on our relationship.

I know I need to leave. I'm so scared. Im so confused if he feels like this why did he beg like a crazy person for me to stay less than a year ago. He begged and cried and said he loved me more than ever

If he's so fed up why wont he let me go??? Do I say anything what i saw?

Oh for god's sake. Have you time-travelled from the 1950s?

Don't do this OP. Your husband is an absolute c*nt and you can't fix this. Time to start planning for a life without him.

Screen shot it then plan on how you are moving your life forward. When you are ready to move out etc just leave and file divorce papers. If he wants a response you don’t do it in person or say it, people can get very nasty, you send an email. And in the email attach this.

Enjoy the next chapter of your life OP.

Fine, good luck, hope it goes well for both of you.

I'm so sorry. He's abusive, misogynistic and basically (like all abusive men) hates and resents you. I'm guessing he begged you to stay a year ago because he realised it'd be a hassle for him to have to do all the stuff you do, split finances etc.

I'd ignore any/all advice to just "be nice to him..." (WTF, like "being nice" has ever changed an abusive man's behaviour?!). And make a promise to yourself that you'll leave him, whatever the timeframe and however that looks, you'll get yourself out of this marriage and be happy again. Start planning - get financial info, a solicitors appointment etc.

If he's so fed up why wont he let me go??? Do I say anything what i saw?

He wants his cake and eat it

an affair is different form leaving someone - he can have you do the domestic drudge, his kids to wake up to and affection and sex on the side

Id probably not say anything nd start planning, plotting and covering my own back ready to split when he least expects it

What in the world did I just read!! Why should she be more friendly towards him, he calls her a cunt in front of their children! He’s told ChatGPT that he basically wants an affair, but she needs to put more effort in and be more friendly. You’re living on a different planet

No, "they" don't say the twee and teeth jarring 'happy wife, happy life'

Twats do

Dreadful advice.

Take it one step at a time. You're already doing most childcare and housework, all you will be losing is the stress of trying to hold onto someone who has no interest in being on your team. You were ready to divorce a year ago.

I'm sorry you found out like this. I wouldn't tell him you know about the Chat GBT conversation. Specifically because if he doesn't know the conversations are saved, he might have more Chat GPT conversations later down the line about how he can protect his pension in the event of divorce and how he can hide assets so that you don't get your hands on them. If you are still able to access the files, you will be one step ahead of him.

Wishing you all the best.

Men. It's always 'affection'. They want more 'affection'. Why can't they just say what it really is, what it almost always comes down to. Sex. They want more sex. they want sex all the time. That's it. Therapists earn so much money going through the charade of couple therapy.

Agree with this op. Good luck x

He doesn't have to let you go for you to divorce him. He doesn't have to agree. You know what you need to do. Divorce is no picnic, but you need to show your children that you do not accept being screamed at as a bitch and a cunt. They can only be what they can see, and you need to give them a clear example of what is and is not acceptable.

Don't beat yourself up about what has gone before, you may have been manipulated but that's not your doing, it is his behaviour and his responsiblilty.

Speak to Womens' Aid and tell them the truth about the behaviour, tell them you want to leave him and ask them for the best plan to do so.

Gather any documents or information you can regarding the financial picture, and make an appointment with a solicitor. Don't fanny about trying to get a free session, this is going to cost you money so just go in there and get it done.

Divorce is no picnic, but the marriage you are in is broken, and you need to get out and move on towards peace. Try to focus on forwards and getting the best version of that out of this that you can for you and your DC.

Is this a joke? If not, you are supporting an abusive man who treats his wife like shit.

Well, clearly she's made the decision and they're splitting up, so it's academic but to answer the question why:

14 days isn't a lot of time to commit to an experiment that might keep a family together, and turn a miserable existence into a happy one. If it doesn't, nothing lost.

Recently this guy was so utterly perfect he was worth making a lifetime commitment to and having kids with. He must be pretty awesome.

If a bloke made exactly the same post I'm pretty sure people would be comfortable with the idea he should correct the things the other person perceived as the problem and see what happened.

As I say, academic because the decision has been made, and I'm sure it will work out fine for both of them.

How does he expect to find someone to shag when he can't even find someone real to talk to.

Supporting in what way?

I don't think that 'this place' is the right place for you. He wants to have sex with other women and because he is an arsehole, he can't just end his marriage in a respectful way. If he 'very obviously has his reasons for wanting to leave the marriage', why didn't he take OP up on her request for a divorce in 2025?

He wants to have his cake and eat it and, hopefully, OP has got his measure and will end their sham of a marriage.

Please, have my first biscuit.

The husband has checked out. There is no saving this.

@BeachFace take advice from other posters re, getting your ducks in a row.
At the moment you have the upper hand and are one step ahead.
Keep it that way. Get your financials together and get the best lawyer in town. You may want to contact the other ‘best’ ones too first of course (which is one of the best bits of advice I’ve seen on here)

He found the OP and she was so blown away with how great he was she decided not just to shag him but to marry him and have a family with him!

Telling OP to be cheerful and affectionate to the man that calls her a cunt and is planning to either have an affair or leave her.

How is that support?

Are you what......14?

Explain?

Can the MN mods just ban men from this site who advise a grin and bare it approach to abusive husbands who call their wives cunts in front of their kids and literally declare they don't care about their wife's feelings and want an affair?