Found DH ChatGPT conversation considering an affair or leaving me.

[BeachFace]

My husband doesnt understand ChatGPT and that conversations are saved and neatly labelled. So today I saw a conversation on the PC at home "marriage troubles"

In a long conversation he says the following

"I couldn't care less about how she feels. I care about how i feel. Im not interested in what's she thinks. I care about my own feelings and my kids" (in resposne to ChatGPT trying to say I have feelings too)

"She's a hormonal mess. Adhd probably too looking at her. Bored of having to support her or listen to her. I deserve affection"

"How to make her sit down and listen and reflect on her behaviour"

"Weighing up whether to get affection from elsewhere or just leave her"

I haven't cherrypicked bits. There isn't one message that shows any love for me.

The weird thing as I read it I felt relief rather than sadness

I actually asked for a divorce in 2025 after he was so horrible to me after birth of our kids. And he begged me and committed to therapy. Lots of "i know it's a two way thing and I need to make some effort"

This is a man who does bare minimum and ive tolerated it for a long time,but who begged me to stay and promised to work on our relationship.

I know I need to leave. I'm so scared. Im so confused if he feels like this why did he beg like a crazy person for me to stay less than a year ago. He begged and cried and said he loved me more than ever

If he's so fed up why wont he let me go??? Do I say anything what i saw?

He’s disgusting. He won’t leave until he has someone else lined up. He doesn’t want to be with you, but he also doesn’t want to be by himself because he’ll have to do domestic tasks and childcare.

You know he's started going to the gym all the time. This week he started weighing his yoghurt in the morning following some protein diet.
It sounds as though he has started his plan of action to find ypur replacement OP, or at least a mistress.

Every post you have written just exposes what a vile man he is. No wonder you wanted to end your marriage last year OP.

Even leaving aside the online chat stuff, he sounds fairly awful - hypocritical, rude, abusing you in front of the children, tight with money and so on. There is no point in berating him or trying to get him to see your point of view - you might as well try to turn back the tide with will power. Don't send that email - keep your dignity and focus on making your future life come true rather than telling him about it. Concentrate on getting as much money and the best deal you can in the divorce. I agree he won't actually do 50% of the child care no matter what he says to reduce the child maintenance. Then get stuff moving as soon as you can - hopefully while is trying to suck in his late 40s gut at the gym to "impress" a woman who is meant to show him "affection". I mean women just love too show affection to adulterous lazy married men in their late forties with dependant children who are tight with money and who are currently living with their wife in the family home.

Manipulative partners often beg you to stay not out of love but out of a desire for control and convenience. He wants the comfort of his current life without having to put any effort into the marriage. Do not confront him with what you found just yet. Take pictures of the screen with your phone and keep them somewhere safe. Use this information to quietly consult a lawyer and plan your exit strategy without tipping him off.

Gather all documents and evidence, see a solicitor and then coldly tell him you are divorcing him . I wouldn't even tell him why if he asks. Don't engage in any further conversation about it, if he begs and pleads, just stare at him then walk away.

I have no idea why you feel guilty at the thought of leaving him. He has said some utterly horrible things about you despite begging you to reconsider when you said that you wanted to separate.

He is planning to either have an affair or leave you. You are now forewarned and can make your own plans. Please find your anger. He sounds absolutely awful.

He’s no family man - they are nice to their wives.

He is an ego maniac and the chat GPT thread was his unfiltered ego. It’s not necessarily his ‘real feelings’ because he’s such a shark his ‘real feelings’ change to what serves him. I say this as I guarantee he will minimise this as a joke chat if you ask him about it and start begging you again not to leave.

Don’t say anything. Doing so would alert him to how ChatGPT works, and right now ChatGPT is your best friend. Fingers crossed he asks ChatGPT to help him navigate the financial aspects of divorce, or custody etc as well.

You’d be less of a ‘hormonal mess’ when you divorce the pig! Sooner you get rid of him the better he sounds like such an arsehole!

@BeachFace Visualise your life without him; bliss.
Organise everything before telling him and prepare support so he won't get nasty.

In his mind he won't see 'getting affection elsewhere' the same as 'an affair' because he can justify the first as something he's entitled to/ you're not providing him and mentally shift the blame on to you!

He sounds so cold and uncaring, not to mention stupid.... I don't see how could stay, knowing this is what he is thinking.

Nice men don't call you names like this op. Please find some anger from somewhere at this abusive bell end who you must leave.

@BeachFace What do you mean when you say, he’ll go mad when you tell him and “I won’t beable to get out of the house”.

If it’s what I think it means, please be careful when you tell him, have someone with you or even just waiting outside or in another room.

My sister was in a similar situation, she wanted out as he is a nasty, lazy waste of space, he begged her to stay for the sake of their kids. 10 long wasted years later she found out he was having an emotional affair and when confronted he left her. It took her several years to forgive herself for being so foolish to stay with him for all that time.

She now has a wonderful, caring new partner. It’s so lovely to see her happy.

Don’t waste anymore time on this nasty man.

I think she said she won't be able to get HIM out of the house.

Your reply tells me all I need to know. Sent it as a text or via a solicitor. Or have someone else there and tell him why abusers do not like to be seen as abusers

you need your own home and then all communication in writing - personally depending on your situation I would move out here sounds like a total abusive idiot and therefore unlikely to move out - speak to a solicitor but getting him out might be hard

always think with your communication what would a court think 🤔 I always made my message ultra reasonable but firm

if he starts abusing you make him do it in writing and therefore incriminate himself as an abuser

What an absolute cliche of a middle aged man. Not surprised you are relieved. You’ll have to be strong now. As a cliche man his response will be to minimise and gaslight. ‘It was just a theoretical conversation you moron’ ‘You’re breaking up our family over some stupid ChatGPT words’.
He will NOT be happy that you get to make any decisions or want anything that doesn’t suit him. You’re just an annoyance to him. Best of luck with it all.

Do it in a public place so he can’t just kick off and shout you down

Also this do not tell him anything at all. Chat cgp could so be helpful in this situation no alerts - this is all about what you have decided.

photocopy and screen shot everything you ca n get yours hands on eg bank accounts

Don’t let him let you do 100% of parenting and blame you etc insist on equality from the start 50/50 and anything he says walk away and say text me if he calls you name walk away (preferably recording him I used to do this in my pocket) say you have just sworn at me and abused me this conversation is not reasonable it is abuse I am walking away I will not continue whilst you are abusing me. I had hundreds of phone calls recorded. Useful. If he said he hadn’t said something I repeated that all abuse was being logged. Verbal abuse is abuse. Being called names is abuse. This is not a one off your behaviour is conditioned. If he calls you a cunt in front of the children (record it in your pocket) report it to the police. Keep your tone calm and reasonable.

Do not put yourself in danger - behaviours escalate.

I imagine if he’s tight with finances he didn’t want to divorce because firstly it would be expensive with solicitors ( potentially ) and secondly he doesn’t want to give half the house and his pension etc etc not to mention any child maintenance payments.

I know that this is not really relevant so forgive me but what did ChatGPT say in response to all that ?

@BeachFace print it out and keep it. It may prove helpful in divorce proceedings. Get a clear picture of your finances. Get all your ducks in a row then go and see a solicitor ASAP.

His ego wouldn’t allow you to leave him a year ago - that’s why he begged you to stay. Not because he loves you and wants to make it work (both his actions since and his words to ChatGPT have proven this). He wants to be the one to make the decision to leave you, in his mind that makes him the winner and you the loser. He is going to the gym and weighing yoghurt to lure in your replacement before he (thinks he will) pull the rug out from under you.

Don't let him! Take control, see a solicitor, keep quiet, get the ball rolling and then when you have everything ready tell him calmly and nonchalantly that the marriage is over you you and that you have just filed for divorce.

Ok thanks! I must have misread.

Still worrying though that he calls her names and shouts infront of the kids. I’d still recommend having someone close by when she tells him.

I wouldn't say a word. Gather all your relevant paperwork and make an appointment to see a good solicitor. Once you know where you stand legally, then you can make decisions. This has given you the clarity that you need. Your husband doesn't love you, care for you or respect you...the relationship is dead in the water.

Your husband panicked last year when you asked for a divorce, because actually having you there is beneficial to him. He might not love you or even want you, but you're better than having to do his laundry himself or take an active parenting role.

When you're ready, just serve him divorce papers. No discussion.

Woke up feeling horrendous. After being so nonchalant last night I found myself unable to sleep panicked and so down on myself. Why have i put up with him for so long.

Getting kids ready for school then full day of meetings at office today. I feel overwhelmed at doing 95% of parenting plus working full time in a stressful job) plus elderly parents etc - I know many of us manage the same - but throwing a divorce on top feels crazy. But I know I have to do it