Found DH ChatGPT conversation considering an affair or leaving me.

[BeachFace]

My husband doesnt understand ChatGPT and that conversations are saved and neatly labelled. So today I saw a conversation on the PC at home "marriage troubles"

In a long conversation he says the following

"I couldn't care less about how she feels. I care about how i feel. Im not interested in what's she thinks. I care about my own feelings and my kids" (in resposne to ChatGPT trying to say I have feelings too)

"She's a hormonal mess. Adhd probably too looking at her. Bored of having to support her or listen to her. I deserve affection"

"How to make her sit down and listen and reflect on her behaviour"

"Weighing up whether to get affection from elsewhere or just leave her"

I haven't cherrypicked bits. There isn't one message that shows any love for me.

The weird thing as I read it I felt relief rather than sadness

I actually asked for a divorce in 2025 after he was so horrible to me after birth of our kids. And he begged me and committed to therapy. Lots of "i know it's a two way thing and I need to make some effort"

This is a man who does bare minimum and ive tolerated it for a long time,but who begged me to stay and promised to work on our relationship.

I know I need to leave. I'm so scared. Im so confused if he feels like this why did he beg like a crazy person for me to stay less than a year ago. He begged and cried and said he loved me more than ever

If he's so fed up why wont he let me go??? Do I say anything what i saw?

Well, at least you know how he really feels which is why you are relieved. Take control, sort out all the information you need and then ask him to leave. You don't really have to tell him what you read.

I agree with the pp. There's no real need to say what you saw unless you want to talk about that, and given that you're relieved, there may not be anything to talk about. Just start organising your future.

I expect he's waiting for another woman to come along to take over. Men can do that

Try not to think about him and why he does stuff or says stuff.

Concentrate on you and what you want

Forget him. He's a waste of space

I would think OP he begged you to stay last year because he was panicking at the thought of the consequences to himself of a divorce. That it suited him to stay married to you. The fact he is now considering an affair indicates he still wants to have his cake and eat it.

You know now the marriage is well and truly over. I'm sorry OP.

Because it's convenient to have you around until he finds a replacement.

It's time to get a job and get your ducks lined up and file for divorce. Your husband has zero care or respect for you, he resents you and has contempt for you. You're not going to come back from that. He's no longer in this relationship with you and it's time to get your next life moving. If you don't, he's likely to spring a divorce on you when you can least handle it.

Because he’s scared too and he wants to find someone to leave first!

Why do I still feel guilt at the thought of leaving him?? Im so programmed not to upset him!

I don't feel sadness at such. But I sm surprised at the affair thing. He has spent the last decade saying he has no sympathy for men who cheat. He's a real "family man"

Just tell him you want a divorce and relationship isnt working for you. You know exactly where he stands. He doesnt beef to know you know. All he needs to know is that your done.

I’m so thankful you posted this. It explains my exH’s behaviour so well too. When I said divorce after finding out he had an affair, he didn’t want to. He started to behave really off, lined up his mistress to divorce with him together, and then announced divorce together.

I'm sorry OP. Even if you know it's the right thing, it's horrible reading that about yourself.
That's out the way, leave his skanky arse.

I'm sorry this has happened but hopefully it'll help you to get out. Not sure if it's helpful but there was a viral story about a woman who something similar happened to - although her relationship was much earlier stage than it sounds like yours is
lindseyhallwrites.substack.com/p/i-read-my-boyfriends-chatgpt-and

What’s your financial position, op?

It sounds like your marriage is over. Even if he claims otherwise and begs you to stay agin (entirely possible) I wouldn’t want to carry on on this basis.

Seeing the file has done you a favour, it's going to set you free. Hopefully you will find the courage to carry on what you wanted to do last year. Listen to your heart and wants and not his. Could you imagine being with him in 30, 40, 50 years time?

Wish you well on your journey out of there. You'll for sure have wobbles but you'll be ok.

An advantage you now have imo. Seek legal advice and start collecting important documents and bank statements..

Screenshot it and don’t say a word.

Get your finances, work, job, mortgage and whatever ready and then I would say

I asked you for a divorce 12 months ago and you begged me to stay during the last 12 months I feel less love than 12 months ago. You are dire in terms of how you treated me for carrying and having our children you have been a total brat. Since I told you this you have gone from bad to worse. You don’t care less about how I feel, emotionally or mentally there is no support and you are beyond useless and selfish. So here’s what is happening we ARE separating and we ARE divorcing and we ARE doing it amicable and fairly. You ARE parenting 50% of the time and we ARE going to live parallel lives. I need to cut the dead weight from my life and have some time to be with myself and my children and establish a happy life that is balanced and is later I meet someone who actually is an equal partner maybe I will get into another relationship someone that will do more than 50% and not the bare minimum and truly listen and be supportive. But right now I have decided what is happening in my life and I hope you ARE going to co parent and be amicable with me I need space and time to heal, so it would be useful to work out accommodation and parenting arrangements as a priority.

Same.

I work full time. We have separate bank accounts. He's v tight with money.

I’d say nothing @BeachFace - get your ducks in a row financially etc and start making plans so you are in the best place possible emotionally and financially when the conversation happens.

I’m sorry you found out like this.

you are in a stronger position for knowing how he really feels though.

are you working, own a house together etc? Start copying any paperwork that the legal boards recommend.

I’d be putting a bit on pre paid store cards each month if possible (if you would be in a bad financial position otherwise). Or buying extra nappy packs in larger sizes etc - think ahead for expenses.

Good luck.

God. That would be so satisfying to say. I shall try my best. He'd cut me off before I got too far. I am pretty tough, good under pressure, but he really can bloody shout when he gets going. Calling me a bitch, cunt etc. He'll do it in front of the kids. He hasn't for ages as we dont argue anymore but I know hes got it in him.

The kids would hate 5050! I do all school stuff and kids stuff currently.

Good.

Honestly, you wanted to end the marriage. You can now do so guilt free. I wouldn’t wait around for him to have an affair- that’s the worst and messiest outcome.

Every time you post he sounds worse!

I mean, you could tell chat gpt to speak to you as if you want to leave and ensure your wife is set up financially. And then delete that conversation...

Yeah, he has been really bad in the past. But he said all the right stuff in the last year but now this. Just feel I've been manipulated.

Get your hands on every bit of information you can, pension, savings, rough house valuation and think about how this will work as a divorced person. What can you afford on your own etc. Find these things out asap.

You have been given a wonderful heads up, most are blindsided. Use it, find your fire, get proactive.

I wouldn’t try and explain it to him if he behaves like that. Just make your plans and tell him it’s over.

He may not understand chatGPT, or he may understand it well enough. Some people self sabotage. Or maybe he wants you to be the one who ends it.