Found DH ChatGPT conversation considering an affair or leaving me.

[BeachFace]

My husband doesnt understand ChatGPT and that conversations are saved and neatly labelled. So today I saw a conversation on the PC at home "marriage troubles"

In a long conversation he says the following

"I couldn't care less about how she feels. I care about how i feel. Im not interested in what's she thinks. I care about my own feelings and my kids" (in resposne to ChatGPT trying to say I have feelings too)

"She's a hormonal mess. Adhd probably too looking at her. Bored of having to support her or listen to her. I deserve affection"

"How to make her sit down and listen and reflect on her behaviour"

"Weighing up whether to get affection from elsewhere or just leave her"

I haven't cherrypicked bits. There isn't one message that shows any love for me.

The weird thing as I read it I felt relief rather than sadness

I actually asked for a divorce in 2025 after he was so horrible to me after birth of our kids. And he begged me and committed to therapy. Lots of "i know it's a two way thing and I need to make some effort"

This is a man who does bare minimum and ive tolerated it for a long time,but who begged me to stay and promised to work on our relationship.

I know I need to leave. I'm so scared. Im so confused if he feels like this why did he beg like a crazy person for me to stay less than a year ago. He begged and cried and said he loved me more than ever

If he's so fed up why wont he let me go??? Do I say anything what i saw?

I would definitely screen shot, not to use against him but to remind yourself.

How old are your kids now op?

I would sceenshot or photograph the chatgpt thread too

I would sceenshot or photograph the chatgpt thread too

Imo there’s no need to say all of that. He doesn’t care. He can’t give you closure.

I cannot bear men who call women names like that, let alone the women who are their wives and who bore their children. Disgusting.

He is also intimidating you by using his loud male voice.

Send what the PP wrote in an email, if you think he would interrupt you. But send it when you've got your ducks in a row.

Regardless of what he said in that chat, it sounds like a bad marriage. It's possible that he might have been having a moment when he wrote it, and that he doesn't feel like that all the time, and therefore might beg you to stay. But from your further info, it seems like the marriage has been bad for ages, and him calling you those names in front of the children...Jesus.

You're better off being single for a thousand years. I'm single after my divorce (albeit I have a casual lover) and it's so, so, so peaceful.

I'm so mad that he was horrible to you after the births of your kids! 😡 So many men don't deserve a wife and children.

I would have left him before if he calls you a bitch and a cunt, this latest find should galvanise you into action. You don't need his permission, you can just file for divorce and then tell him it's over. You don't need to be scared, you're a capable woman and can support yourself. Your children will be better off with a happy confident independent mum. You don't deserve his treatment of you, he sounds absolutely vile.

Hi OP, my XH behaved similarly (not Chat GPT evidence for me, but I felt the fact that he wiped the browser history of the iPad every time he used it quite suspicious!). I agree with pp that men like this tend to want someone to move on to. XH treated me so badly I felt I had no choice but to separate. He cried his eyes out (in retrospect it was a form of manipulation), begged me for a ‘trial separation’ which I reluctantly agreed to. He made very little effort then suddenly announced he didn’t think the trial separation is working and we started divorce proceedings. Found out later he went on a first date the week after he said that 🤷🏻‍♀️ so yeah I think he was lining her up already!
The guilt you feel - I’d suggest reading up about trauma bonding. You become attached and dependent on someone, even though rationally you know they treat you badly.
Thank your lucky stars you found this is advance. Awful as it is, it’s better than finding out he’s cheating or him dropping a bombshell (like I’d imagine him announcing he’s moving out). Get your ducks in a row. Start planning for the future.
It doesn’t have to be 50/50 by the way. I never wanted that. I wanted DD with me more and over time it’s increased in my favour. She’s better off and happier spending less time with him.

I guess I still had 1% hope he understood or cared. His "getting affection" from elsewhere. He literally ignores me, looks at his phone all evening, makes some snide remark and then acts all hurt and rejected when I dont want to have sex. He puts in zero effort. I just have to get used to the fact he hates me already and blames me. And when I leave him...he'll hate me and blame me even more

The poor kids. He's gonna go crazy!! I wont be able to get him out the house

You know he's started going to the gym all the time. This week he started weighing his yoghurt in the morning following some protein diet. Hes always in his phone following blokes giving advice on tiktok. He's in his late 40s and never cared less about that stuff.

He's as dumb as a rock, you can use that you your advantage OP.

What a charmer. So dont say it, email it. He can't interrupt you then when you are saying truths he doesnt want to hear.

Leave op , wouldn't t give him the opportunity to do it you . He's a selfish rat

Act normal, keep him sweet, make a solid plan. Get everything sewn up so that you come out the winner.

Screen shot it all and save it

He has given you an incredible gift - conclusive insight into how he feels, without him even realising it

Make the most of it and screw this bastard for everything. He is a despicable cockwomble and you deserve better

“I deserve affection” - what a cunt. He deserves to be divorced and taken for every penny. Make sure you try to get copies of his bank account statements if he’s tight. He may have money stashed away that he’s keeping from you. Photograph everything and see a solicitor. Don’t let on until it’s a fait accompli.

You deserve so much better than this utter self serving piece of shit op.

Mate, don’t waste a single second more of your life trying to analyse or understand him. You can see now, clearly, he doesn’t love you. You don’t love him. Move on and live your best life

Why? Whatever for?

Did he talk about deserving happiness too? 🙄

Hi @BeachFace

How upsetting to read that, but it has given you the opportunity to end your marriage without having to feel sorry for him.

Don't tell him how Chat GPT works. Not yet, anyway.You never know, you might find out some more interesting info.
For example, he might ask how to hide assets during a divorce - trust me, many men want to, and some (too many) succeed.

You need to get as much info as you can on all the assets and debts - take copies of everything, and hide them well.

When you've gathered all the info, go and speak to a solicitor, and file for divorce.

Be aware that he will probably go for 50:50 custody, so that he doesn't have to pay you child support. Push back against that because you know he won't do that.

Good luck 💐

Let him get in with whatever shit he’s doing , you need to focus on yourself & kids.
whikst your spending time thinking about why/what/whatever about him your spending less on yourself. Fuck him , he doesn’t deserve you , he treats you like shite
get some self respect back ( that he’s knocked out of you) do not ket him treat you like shite
tell him to go !! He does nothing for you

Really awful you’re in this position but I feel so smug for you that you know what he secretly thinks, and he has no idea that you know. Fucking idiot lol. Thinks he’s gods gift that someone would want to have an affair with him now that he goes to the gym and is calorie counting ha ha ha. Massive ick!!!!! My skin is crawling for you. Thank god you’ve seen those notes and are leaving now and not in another 10 years!!! Good luck OP!!

If you are sure that it is his writing then you could not stay and keep any sense of self respect.

Plan to leave, sort out your affairs to best suit you .. and all the while speak well to him.
Tell him he is looking really much more attractive with the extra gym sessions etc. Do not give him any hint that he will not see you for dust.

Move out and serve papers the next day. Only communicate via your lawyer.
Keep your cool, stay nice and move on.

That sounds tough to swallow. Do you think he knew or hoped you would see it?

That was a good read, thanks for sharing - nice she wrote it herself as well!

OP, the fact you feel relief says a lot. If you wanted the marriage to work, relief would not be the main emotion here. You’d be shocked, devastated, saddened, angry etc. Instead you’re kind of glad… I think you know the marriage is over and reading his thoughts on it has given you permission to accept that. Time to move on.