Starting a fourth thread when I hoped three would be enough

[PithyBeaker]

really hoped I wouldn’t need this but looks like I do

I see it. DW

Very helpful image. Thank you.

It's hard for normal people to believe that emotional manipulators enjoy hurting their partners. He knows he's wound you up, he's done it deliberately, he's happy because he's successfully punishednyou for hurting him.
In his eyes it will be justified....you are the source of his current suffering and he will be making u feel the pain that he feels. You will deserve it in his eyes. He will take no accountability for being the cause of his own situation. Oh I've seen this in my own relationship. It's hard to believe it's coming from the same lovely guy who has and can be so so lovely and nice.
I don't understand how this all works so I get the confusion.

I’m not crying anymore. Very much icked out now. Finally had an epiphany he is either the world’s biggest moron or incredibly manipulative. Either way, ick.

Annoyingly, I woke up feeling great this morning - did some weights, some work, coffee, shower. Mental prep for strenuous day of having to be around lots of people and put a brave face on for my son. Then this message from her out of nowhere. It’s ok though. Nearly fired back smthn angry, called my sis and she was like just wish her well. Done. Feel lighter and back to excited about next two weeks (finally on annual leave, been working remotely all summer so now I finally get some actual time off.) Thanks to all of you who continue to big me up in the low moments, I see you all and value you more than you will ever know. My therapist prescribed me to read Self-compassion by K Neff so I am doing that now. X

Block him on insta now and block his mum on everything too. You get to have the last word by simply not responding.

It really is like ripping off a plaster. Do it all at once and be done with it. You've tried doing it excruciatingly slowly and that didn't work. End it now, cut all contact and let the wound heal.

Love your last update Pithy. Keep lifting those weights and soon your heart will lift, too.

Yes, this ends up being the only explanation. If you’re doing it on purpose you’re a horrible prick, and if you’re doing it by accident somehow you’re the most dense and insensitive moron with no self awareness/empathy for others feelings. Either way, you’re better off!

Remember to block his email also.

Duh… yes I blocked you as you broke up with me & I have no interest in hearing from you any more & I dont require your permission … (to self obvs.)
There we are then !

His bloody mother, honestly she's probably part of the reason he's such a spoilt, peevish manchild. Well done for blocking her and for being so polite, I'd have been tempted to tell her to Foxtrot Oscar.

Nothing like setting an example of what not to be like. He had to go tell his mommy you blocked him, he's so mad because he didn't get back in on his timeline and you held your boundary he's not moving in. I doubt he told her how he's been verbally abusing you calling you names in his communications. I don't think he's stupid, he's that deeply manipulative.

Didn't he break up with you months ago and refuse to have a relationship with you unless you agreed he would move back in fairly soonish?

You're not amicable exes. Friendly exes don't call you names or hit at your mental health. You have to block him and his family everywhere. No contact from now on.

Pithy - honest to god you are a legend! You have survived his absolute pisstakery, and with time to heal I have no doubt you will thrive!

His mother's probably now worried he'll want to move in with her as you've finally escaped. NOT YOUR PROBLEM.

In fairness, at some point the man'd have to tell his mother they'd split up and if Pithy had a good relationship with her before, a "very sorry to hear it" email would be reasonable.

But that doesn't alter the fact that this man's behaviour has been so appallingly toxic that she needs to close the book on him entirely.