Was I wrong to be upset by being called a nightmare ex?

[FlowerPower8282]

Out for drinks last night. Talking to a friend of a friend who I’ve never met before. She had a reasonably strong opinion of me which I was shocked about.

The conversation was about ex husbands and their roles in our lives now we are divorced.

I said that I expected my exh to pay me maintenance. She was in agreement until she realised we co-parent 50/50. Exh pays all of the children’s expenses. I pay my household bills which obviously includes some clothing for my children when they are with me and their food.

I also mentioned that I am upset with the time he spends with his new girlfriend and that she is playing mum to my children. I don’t like the girlfriend and have no interest in her whatsoever. I don’t acknowledge her if I see her. She isn’t like me and has different interests and approaches to me. For example, I spend a lot of time on my appearance, weekly blow drys, nails, lashes, new clothes, gym sessions etc She seems to not spend any time on her appearance whatsoever. Now he’s with her, he’s changed. He used to agree with me and now argues with me. He won’t pay for my expenses like he used to and even suggested I stop trying to control him and focus on my new partner.

The friend of my friend was quite rude to me. She said I sound like a nightmare ex and then went on to say that I have no right to his money or his time and to leave him alone.

Am right to be upset? The evening ended awkwardly and my friend in the middle is upset and won’t comment on the situation.

Your feelings are your feelings.

I think it’s clear you are not well suited for friendship, so best not to arrange to be in each others company again.

Is this a wind up? Of course you shouldn't be expecting your ex to pay for your expenses, and his new partner is none of your business.
Not sure what her appearance has to do with anything?
You are being very unreasonable.

Are you serious?

You do sound quite petty and jealous of the new gf. So what if she doesn’t have lashes and nails etc?

You don’t sound very nice tbh.

This has to be rage bait 😂😂😂

No of course you shouldn’t be getting maintenance off you share the kids 50/50!
Of course your ex doesn’t need to pay for your hair and nails!

But you know this…. 😝

Well, you’re not wrong to be upset at being called a name. But wow OP you do sound unreasonable here!

When you say he won’t pay for your expenses, in the same paragraph as your list of blow drys, nails, lashes etc it sound like you want THOSE expenses paid. Of course he won’t pay these - or any of YOUR expenses any more.

This is what divorced parenting at 50/50 looks like.

And her appearance and interests are none of your business. Not acknowledging her is simply rude.

It’s such a ridiculous post it’s almost a reverse.

Fantastic click bait in general, but you jumped the shark a couple of times. Maybe next time tone it down a bit?

Wow! Your sense of entitlement is astounding

why would your EX pay for your hair/nails etc?

if you’re 50/50 parenting he shouldn’t need to pay you anything

whatever he’s giving you is for the kids, the rest is down to you to provide for yourself

Yabu

No one would paint themselves like this. I call reverse.

Surely this is a joke but I’m laughing at the fact your ex has moved on and she doesn’t need to have fake lashes and covered in makeup to keep him, yet you did all that and it still wasn’t enough. The new girlfriend must be a lovely person

😂

Why shouldn’t he pay? He earns more than I do.

Why should I speak to his girlfriend? He spends his money on her now. He claims he doesn’t and that he has to pay for his new house, furnishings and for our children. One is at a boarding school for the arts, which admittedly costs him a fair amount each month, but I pay for them (food/water) when they are home in the holidays. He doesn’t pay anything towards their upkeep when they are with me.

Some reverse posts are too obvious…

actually I take that back. Made up bollocks. Just tried a bit to hard with that last post op

Maybe stop giving details of your financial arrangements post-divorce to total strangers when drinking?

Have you nothing better to do this morning dear?

With that latest update now I know you're taking the piss.
What he spends HIS money on is irrelevant. It's HIS.
And you don't think you should pay for your kids when they're with you???

You're oversharing to a quite unnecessary extent. Why go into this level of detail with a complete stranger about your relationships or finances? It's quite likely that this made her uncomfortable; that, or she simply grew tired of listening to you talk about yourself.

If you want to avoid this manner of criticism then steer clear of personal information and stick to safer topics, or maybe even ask your companions one or two questions about themselves from time to time.

YABU

Why should he pay you maintenance when you share kids 50/50?! Especially if it's going on blow dries and eyelashes

The poor dc stuck in the middle of this.

Yeah you sound like a nightmare ex.

I wasn’t expecting to be called click bait this morning. I’m unsure why I’ve offended people. I’m trying to be as transparent as possible.

Yes you sound ridiculous and a nightmare ex

Another example: I don’t drive and he’s cancelled my access to his uber account and removed me from his Apple account. It wasn’t a problem for a 5 years. Now she’s on the scene it’s suddenly a problem.

Because what you’ve posted is so over the top and such a caricature that it doesn’t look real. You’ve gone for too many things that are absolutely unreasonable.