Was I wrong to be upset by being called a nightmare ex?

[FlowerPower8282]

Out for drinks last night. Talking to a friend of a friend who I’ve never met before. She had a reasonably strong opinion of me which I was shocked about.

The conversation was about ex husbands and their roles in our lives now we are divorced.

I said that I expected my exh to pay me maintenance. She was in agreement until she realised we co-parent 50/50. Exh pays all of the children’s expenses. I pay my household bills which obviously includes some clothing for my children when they are with me and their food.

I also mentioned that I am upset with the time he spends with his new girlfriend and that she is playing mum to my children. I don’t like the girlfriend and have no interest in her whatsoever. I don’t acknowledge her if I see her. She isn’t like me and has different interests and approaches to me. For example, I spend a lot of time on my appearance, weekly blow drys, nails, lashes, new clothes, gym sessions etc She seems to not spend any time on her appearance whatsoever. Now he’s with her, he’s changed. He used to agree with me and now argues with me. He won’t pay for my expenses like he used to and even suggested I stop trying to control him and focus on my new partner.

The friend of my friend was quite rude to me. She said I sound like a nightmare ex and then went on to say that I have no right to his money or his time and to leave him alone.

Am right to be upset? The evening ended awkwardly and my friend in the middle is upset and won’t comment on the situation.

Yes it’s a wind up. There’s the same poster that likes to write misogynistic fanfic where a woman is treating a man badly, and it’s always a different senario but boils down to being grabby, self absorbed and the poor man being a push over and finally standing up for himself

She was being nice about it. I’d say you’re a nightmare all around.

Annoyingly MN won’t delete it because apparently inflammatory fiction doesn’t breach MN guidelines 🤷‍♀️

If his business then you are not entitled to use any of it

sounds like the new GF is laying down the law and quite possibly trying to limit your access to his resources and money ( probably correctly TBH )

You sound an utter nightmare.

You’re actually not entitled to maintenance if 50-50 and this has been shown on here before as a fact. Why should be pay you maintenance when he has them half the time?

Wind up.

Why do people post threads like this? Seriously. 🙄

If this thread isn't a reverse, then the reality is that you are indeed a nightmare ex. HTH.

You sound like the ex from hell tbh!

Your ex had a lucky escape as you sound entitled and spoilt . Yabvu.

You must be a diplomat 🤣

Your ex did well to escape.

“I spend a lot of time on my appearance, weekly blow drys, nails, lashes, new clothes, gym sessions etc”

How jolly nice for you. You must have a good job to afford all that self pampering.

The only answer to a virtual stranger having an opinon on you is 'I am a fucking delight' with a glint in your eye and refuse to engage further on the subject.

I remember reading on here someone overheard a mother telling her children that 'in this family we don't depend on external validation' or something similar, and I feel that those are wise words to live by.

You know the circumstances. You know if you're being cheeky or fair. Life isn't a game. Do what you have to for you and your kids and ignore everyone else's opinion of it

With 50/50 care, your ex doesn’t have to pay CM.

It’s not your business who his new girlfriend is.

So, yeah, you are coming across a bit nightmare ex. 🤷‍♀️

I sincerely hope you’re not working and earning, you’ve not made that clear.

You surely aren’t, where would you find the time?

Honestly, just because you’re an ex, he should still be providing for you 100%.

“ he doesn’t pay for their upkeep”

quite the contradiction here seeing as he is paying for their education? I’m sure that costs more than your bills? Are you going to contribute towards the bills he pays when he has them at theirs
if it’s 50/50?

😂 The names Angel 😇 Angel Delight.

Spot on

You are not together anymore he owes you nothing.why would he contribute towards kids upkeep when they are with you.you are absolutely talking ridiculous.

Of course I work but he has more money than me so he should be contributing to his children when they are with me. We like to do nice things too.

I take some points that maybe he could remove me from the accounts but I don’t really see why, there’s space available on them unless he wants her to have them. I’ve set my own up now but don’t really see why I should when he already has them. He’s also dropped taking the children to their activities on my time so the uber account was good for them to have too.

Reverse. Tedious.

If the Uber account is for the business, and treated as a business expense, it would be fraud to use it for personal expenses.

"food/water" 😂

Otherwise, the standard here isn't that high - it's not like the good old days on Mumsnet.

If you won the lottery so were wealthier than him, would you start sending him a monthly amount so that he had it available during his time with the kids?