Was I wrong to be upset by being called a nightmare ex?

[FlowerPower8282]

Out for drinks last night. Talking to a friend of a friend who I’ve never met before. She had a reasonably strong opinion of me which I was shocked about.

The conversation was about ex husbands and their roles in our lives now we are divorced.

I said that I expected my exh to pay me maintenance. She was in agreement until she realised we co-parent 50/50. Exh pays all of the children’s expenses. I pay my household bills which obviously includes some clothing for my children when they are with me and their food.

I also mentioned that I am upset with the time he spends with his new girlfriend and that she is playing mum to my children. I don’t like the girlfriend and have no interest in her whatsoever. I don’t acknowledge her if I see her. She isn’t like me and has different interests and approaches to me. For example, I spend a lot of time on my appearance, weekly blow drys, nails, lashes, new clothes, gym sessions etc She seems to not spend any time on her appearance whatsoever. Now he’s with her, he’s changed. He used to agree with me and now argues with me. He won’t pay for my expenses like he used to and even suggested I stop trying to control him and focus on my new partner.

The friend of my friend was quite rude to me. She said I sound like a nightmare ex and then went on to say that I have no right to his money or his time and to leave him alone.

Am right to be upset? The evening ended awkwardly and my friend in the middle is upset and won’t comment on the situation.

If this is a true post....... I think your friends friend was spot on! You sound like you are a grifter? Your ex sounds like he is paying plenty and definitely doesn't owe you access to free Ubers or Apple accounts!!

Why should he pay for their upkeep when they are with you ? Do you pay towards their upkeep when they are with him?

If you have 50/50 then he shouldn’t be giving you a penny - unless he’s expecting you to send clothes etc with them, I guess , but I would say the fact he pays for their school fees makes up for that.

My ex has our son 3 nights per week and I have him 4. He buys him clothes just like I do and he has a whole bedroom clothes etc at his house . When he’s there he’s paying for everything for him , so I have never asked him for a penny and I would never dream of doing so .

Maintenance isn’t for the mother, it’s for the children.

Im assuming this is rage bait from your comment about the way your ex’s partner dresses etc - if not, you are a very shallow person. Maybe , she can afford all the beauty treatments because he is paying for his children and giving money to you for no reason .

Reversey Percy? Or a wind up. No one can be this obtuse, surely. You sound so entitled and thick skinned I can't believe you are "upset" by a friend's comment.
On the other hand these are the sorts of things I can imagine my late MIL would have come out with in this situation.

"Spends all his money on her". Well at least he's not forking out for her nails and lashes, eh? I expect a low maintenance partner is a blessed relief to him this time round.

If this is real, I suggest you marry again and marry rich. God help the poor fellow

You’re no longer his family.

🤣🤣🤣 give over

“He won’t pay for my expenses like he used to”
”he’s cancelled my access to his uber account and removed me from his Apple account.”

OP, are you for real? You clearly don’t understand how divorce works. Just because your ex earns more than you, why should he pay for things for you? If you have your Dc fifty-fifty, he’s feeding and watering them etc while they’re with him. You’re jolly lucky that he pays boarding school fees. There’s no earthly reason why he should pay your expenses or why you should have anything to do with his Uber or Apple accounts - you’re not his wife. My advice to you would be to cut out some of the nails, weekly blow dry, lashes, new clothes etc and put the money towards driving lessons. You need to be independent - he’s moved on with his life, and you need to as well.

Set up your own Uber and Apple accounts.

You aren't entitled to maintenance if you care for the kids 50/50. Count yourself lucky therefore that he does pay something to you.

There's no reason at all that he should pay for frivolities such as you having your nails done. Those are things that you pay for yourself if you want them. They are frivolities, as I say. Not essentials.

Buy your own clothes too.

You are acting very entitled and totally ridiculous.

Your a first class gold digger.

Sorry im not falling for this crap no grown woman acts like this.
Do better with the next thread of bullshit you make up.

If this is real (and I’m struggling to believe it is) you sound absolutely hilariously awful OP

She's right

On the off-chance that you really are this dim and this is a genuine post, I think your mutual friend agrees with her pal and is refusing to comment because you simply won't listen.

Hilarious 😂

This is so obviously rage bait. Try to be more subtle next time, you don’t need to throw the kitchen sink at it.

Of course you are a nightmare ex.

Your ex has moved on and has found happiness and you’re being petty and childish because you can’t get over your jealousy.

The new gf has done nothing wrong.
Your ex doesn’t want to be with you.

Grow up, stop being so codependent on a man that doesn’t want you and just move on with your life.

You keep adding details that make it too obvious it's rage bait bollocks 😂

You are entitled to maintenance because he earns more regardless of 50/50 arrangement. I don’t understand what everyone’s issue is with this.

My friend was very quiet with me this morning. She thinks I killed the vibe last night.

I’m on the train now and my sister thinks I’ve overreacted. She said people have different values to me.

This is not true. She absolutely is entitled to maintenance.

No one can possibly be lacking this much self awareness. Either reverse, troll or just a failure as a human being. Take your pick.

Useful and fascinating update, thanks.

Maintenance is for providing for the children, not the mother's hair and nail "expenses".

Clearly a wind up post. So annoying that MN seems to be flooded with these at the moment.

This is what I thought but the solicitor said no as I got the house.

The uber accounts and mobile phones are part of his business so not really his money.

If I was your friend then I’d not be your friend anymore with this kind of attitude. Pay for your own Ubers and music.

You know what he is also entitled to? To apply for CB for one of the children to be on his name and then go to CMS and not only have maintenance reduced ( 1 child instead of 2) , buy open a claim against OP for that child.