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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Was I wrong to be upset by being called a nightmare ex?

214 replies

FlowerPower8282 · 17/05/2026 09:24

Out for drinks last night. Talking to a friend of a friend who I’ve never met before. She had a reasonably strong opinion of me which I was shocked about.

The conversation was about ex husbands and their roles in our lives now we are divorced.

I said that I expected my exh to pay me maintenance. She was in agreement until she realised we co-parent 50/50. Exh pays all of the children’s expenses. I pay my household bills which obviously includes some clothing for my children when they are with me and their food.

I also mentioned that I am upset with the time he spends with his new girlfriend and that she is playing mum to my children. I don’t like the girlfriend and have no interest in her whatsoever. I don’t acknowledge her if I see her. She isn’t like me and has different interests and approaches to me. For example, I spend a lot of time on my appearance, weekly blow drys, nails, lashes, new clothes, gym sessions etc She seems to not spend any time on her appearance whatsoever. Now he’s with her, he’s changed. He used to agree with me and now argues with me. He won’t pay for my expenses like he used to and even suggested I stop trying to control him and focus on my new partner.

The friend of my friend was quite rude to me. She said I sound like a nightmare ex and then went on to say that I have no right to his money or his time and to leave him alone.

Am right to be upset? The evening ended awkwardly and my friend in the middle is upset and won’t comment on the situation.

OP posts:
GodDamnitDonut · 17/05/2026 11:44

It is a reverse, must be.

Nogimachi · 17/05/2026 11:46

I’ll admit I felt quite surprised that you would accept money from your ex for your own support, especially frivolous things like nails and beauty, in this day and age - fully agree he should pay 50% of the children’s costs though.

I can understand this person’s surprise though she should have had better manners.

I would just not see this person again since it is not for her to pass judgement on you.

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 17/05/2026 11:47

Wow. You are incredibly unreasonable.

You aren't married anymore, he's not responsible for you or for your taxis or lashes and nails. You are obviously jealous of the new girlfriend and that's absolutely understandable.

You got the house and I'm guessing that was what the court thought was reasonable in your specific circumstances

AlwaysLookOnTheBrightSideOfLife · 17/05/2026 11:47

I feel sorry for the new girlfriend...

Purpleguitar · 17/05/2026 11:49

I agree with the new girlfriend!!!

How on earth do you think it's right that he pays ALL the children's expenses and then feel you should get maintenance on top?

If you want nails, eyebrows, gym etc etc etc YOU pay for it

Greedy and entitled......

Rosecoffeecup · 17/05/2026 11:52

She was correct, you do sound like a nightmare. That is putting it lightly tbh.

Are you still hung up on him?

nOlives · 17/05/2026 11:56

FlowerPower8282 · 17/05/2026 11:04

This is what I thought but the solicitor said no as I got the house.

The uber accounts and mobile phones are part of his business so not really his money.

Firstly, this must be a reverse.
Secondly, you just keep telling the world that he is letting his ex and his kids use company money if you want HMRC to ruin his life. Watch out though as it will impact your kids including their school fees.

YellowMellow99 · 17/05/2026 11:56

You do sound like a shallow, self-obsessed person, maybe your husband just wants to be with someone who is not obsessed with their appearance and expect him to pay for their lifestyle. Good luck to your new partner, you do sound like a nightmare ex and rude too.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 17/05/2026 11:57

Errrrrr ……

Sidebeforeself · 17/05/2026 11:58

I hope he’s not paying for your creative writing course!

loislovesstewie · 17/05/2026 12:00

I bet he's glad to have a partner who doesn't expect him to fund an expensive lifestyle. I really didn't think that in the this day and age there would be ex wives who feel that their former husbands should be funding them. Maintenance for children when the mother is the primary carer , absolutely. Other than that, no. Get yourself a better job or cut your cloth accordingly.
As for your comments about his current partner. Just wow!

BerryTwister · 17/05/2026 12:01

Nice try OP!

Thehop · 17/05/2026 12:02

You come across as really shallow and entitled......I'm not surprised your friend things you were out of line and you were called a nightmare ex. You are.

get a job, support yourself and be glad he supports the children and you got a house.

lifetheuniverse · 17/05/2026 12:02

You are a nightmare EX. He has been overly generous. He pays for boarding school - so you do not feed the child during this time yet you expect him to contribute to their upkeep when they are with you.

I would suggest you get off your arse, learn to drive, get a job and start paying for yourself and your children.

amber763 · 17/05/2026 12:05

Are you upset about it because you know deep down you ARE a nightmare ex? How rude of you to not acknowledge his girlfriend.i don't think I believe this post is genuine its so ridiculous

TFImBackIn · 17/05/2026 12:05

This is giving me Gia from MAFS vibes. It sounds like a reverse, OP - surely you're not talking about your own situation?

gardenflowergirl · 17/05/2026 12:11

Just because he's your ex husband does not mean he's now still your meal ticket for the rest of your life, no matter how much he earns. Spousal maintenance is no longer a thing in the world of equality when your settlement was 50:50 for the kids and you got the house, so no child maintenance either. Yes, you are the nightmare ex if expect all these things. Uber and apple are no longer family accounts as you are divorced. His new gf may have helped him resolve any guilt...

pinkyredrose · 17/05/2026 12:18

I mean there's laying it on thick and then there's this.

In the unlikely event that this is real then you are BVVVVVVU!

Arlanymor · 17/05/2026 12:21

I see series three of Amandaland is being scripted...

Bundleflower · 17/05/2026 12:21

I’d love to share a bottle of wine with your ex husband’s new partner. I bet she has some wild things to say about you. YABU

EarthSight · 17/05/2026 12:23

I don’t like the girlfriend and have no interest in her whatsoever. I don’t acknowledge her if I see her. She isn’t like me and has different interests and approaches to me. For example, I spend a lot of time on my appearance, weekly blow drys, nails, lashes, new clothes, gym sessions etc She seems to not spend any time on her appearance whatsoever

I wouldn't expect you feel totally fine about her or not feel weird for playing mum, but this makes you sound like a shallow ***.

Blogswife · 17/05/2026 12:23

Surely this is a reverse ? If not then your friend is correct , you are a nightmare ex !

Holidaymodeon · 17/05/2026 12:26

Bristolandlazy · 17/05/2026 11:09

Ha ha rubbish rage bait. What's the point. Give me strength.

I presume the point is more traffic directed here. I think all these rage bait posts are literally that, bait, a cheap tactic to increase page views.

Sammyspurs · 17/05/2026 12:31

This can’t be real!

MummyWillow1 · 17/05/2026 12:40

I mean, she’s got a point.

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