Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Was I wrong to be upset by being called a nightmare ex?

214 replies

FlowerPower8282 · 17/05/2026 09:24

Out for drinks last night. Talking to a friend of a friend who I’ve never met before. She had a reasonably strong opinion of me which I was shocked about.

The conversation was about ex husbands and their roles in our lives now we are divorced.

I said that I expected my exh to pay me maintenance. She was in agreement until she realised we co-parent 50/50. Exh pays all of the children’s expenses. I pay my household bills which obviously includes some clothing for my children when they are with me and their food.

I also mentioned that I am upset with the time he spends with his new girlfriend and that she is playing mum to my children. I don’t like the girlfriend and have no interest in her whatsoever. I don’t acknowledge her if I see her. She isn’t like me and has different interests and approaches to me. For example, I spend a lot of time on my appearance, weekly blow drys, nails, lashes, new clothes, gym sessions etc She seems to not spend any time on her appearance whatsoever. Now he’s with her, he’s changed. He used to agree with me and now argues with me. He won’t pay for my expenses like he used to and even suggested I stop trying to control him and focus on my new partner.

The friend of my friend was quite rude to me. She said I sound like a nightmare ex and then went on to say that I have no right to his money or his time and to leave him alone.

Am right to be upset? The evening ended awkwardly and my friend in the middle is upset and won’t comment on the situation.

OP posts:
NotMajorTom · 17/05/2026 09:52

FlowerPower8282 · 17/05/2026 09:50

Another example: I don’t drive and he’s cancelled my access to his uber account and removed me from his Apple account. It wasn’t a problem for a 5 years. Now she’s on the scene it’s suddenly a problem.

Like this. You’ve over egged it

FlowerPower8282 · 17/05/2026 09:52

I don’t understand what’s unreasonable? He earns far more than I do. Why shouldn’t he pay for the children?

OP posts:
FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 17/05/2026 09:54

Try harder. Do better.

WhyUniverseWhy · 17/05/2026 09:54

FlowerPower8282 · 17/05/2026 09:52

I don’t understand what’s unreasonable? He earns far more than I do. Why shouldn’t he pay for the children?

he definitely shouldn’t be paying for your Ubers and blow dries and Apple account!

FlowerPower8282 · 17/05/2026 09:54

NotMajorTom · 17/05/2026 09:52

Like this. You’ve over egged it

what have I over egged? There’s space on his Apple account why can’t I use it. I’ve got all my playlists saved on it? The uber account is used by the eldest who is away. It’s a family account?

OP posts:
ihearyoucalling · 17/05/2026 09:54

This is a reverse

TheThingOnTheIce · 17/05/2026 09:55

Is this a reverse?

WhyUniverseWhy · 17/05/2026 09:56

FlowerPower8282 · 17/05/2026 09:54

what have I over egged? There’s space on his Apple account why can’t I use it. I’ve got all my playlists saved on it? The uber account is used by the eldest who is away. It’s a family account?

he’s cancelled my access to his Uber account

You’re a WUM. You can’t even keep the story straight for 10 mins.

Decacaffeinatednow · 17/05/2026 09:56

Why do posters engage with obvious winder uppers ? Or should that be winders up ?🤔

SoScarletItWas · 17/05/2026 09:57

FlowerPower8282 · 17/05/2026 09:52

I don’t understand what’s unreasonable? He earns far more than I do. Why shouldn’t he pay for the children?

He does pay for the children. School fees, their expenses, has them 50/50.

You’re asking him to pay for YOU. And use his family accounts. You aren’t his family any more. His kids are. It’s that simple.

You're trying to blame the removal of those things on his partner. We see you. If you had it after you’d split that was bloody lucky and completely unnecessary. The gravy train just rolled to a stop. Time to pay for your own fripperies.

SoScarletItWas · 17/05/2026 09:58

Decacaffeinatednow · 17/05/2026 09:56

Why do posters engage with obvious winder uppers ? Or should that be winders up ?🤔

I’m between books and do like a character-led work of fiction 🤣

NotMajorTom · 17/05/2026 09:58

I think it’s fair to point it out as some posters may not clock it and waste time giving genuine advice.

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/05/2026 09:59

This can’t be true

you are not together and ex def shouldn’t be paying for your beauty /travel/music etc

if 50/50 then cms doesn’t usually happen but even more so if he is paying for things for the kids

SnappyUmberLion · 17/05/2026 10:00

FlowerPower8282 · 17/05/2026 09:54

what have I over egged? There’s space on his Apple account why can’t I use it. I’ve got all my playlists saved on it? The uber account is used by the eldest who is away. It’s a family account?

Because he’s an ex? Pay for your own damn stuff.

JustABean · 17/05/2026 10:01

Can see why your a nightmare never mind a not nice person. Good for you doing your hair etc not all of us actually want or need to. So obvious the problem isn't the ex or his gf

ERthree · 17/05/2026 10:04

Sounds just like my Husbands ex wife

corndawg · 17/05/2026 10:05

You sound absolutely awful. Shallow, bitter and money grabbing to such an extent that it's very hard to believe it's true. It just reads like a piss take.

drunkelephant83 · 17/05/2026 10:09

But you’re not together anymore, why should you have access to his uber account, why should he pay you any extra when he’s got the kids 50% of the time, he could ask why aren’t you paying him.

you need to learn to drive, try earn some more money.

why would you still want to be tied up to all his stuff and having to rely on him. You live two separate lives now and if he’s still spending 50% of his time with his kids why does it matter how much he sees his girlfriend, it’s his life not yours.

You need to take control of your own life and fend for yourself.

FlyingApple · 17/05/2026 10:10

Give over 😂

RedRock41 · 17/05/2026 10:11

Has to be a wind up. If not go the friend of a friend for telling a few home truths…

DaringZebra · 17/05/2026 10:13

ERthree · 17/05/2026 10:04

Sounds just like my Husbands ex wife

Edited

I was just coming on to say the exact same thing! 😂🤣😂.

Galaxylights · 17/05/2026 10:15

Hahaha if this is real, so many grifters on munsnet.

GenialHarrietGrouty · 17/05/2026 10:16

Team DH and friend here. If he's paying school fees, he's already paying way more than his share. I feel sorry for the children if you are spending so much time on your appearance.

havingoneofthosedays · 17/05/2026 10:18

Reverse 🤷🏼‍♀️

Abouteffingtime · 17/05/2026 10:19

You're no longer married so wtf should he pay for your uber or nails? In 50/50 situations there is usually no child maintainence paid either.

Its great that he DOES still pay of course, but hes under no obligation to.

You sound very entitled and detached from reality.

Swipe left for the next trending thread