Was I wrong to be upset by being called a nightmare ex?

[FlowerPower8282]

Out for drinks last night. Talking to a friend of a friend who I’ve never met before. She had a reasonably strong opinion of me which I was shocked about.

The conversation was about ex husbands and their roles in our lives now we are divorced.

I said that I expected my exh to pay me maintenance. She was in agreement until she realised we co-parent 50/50. Exh pays all of the children’s expenses. I pay my household bills which obviously includes some clothing for my children when they are with me and their food.

I also mentioned that I am upset with the time he spends with his new girlfriend and that she is playing mum to my children. I don’t like the girlfriend and have no interest in her whatsoever. I don’t acknowledge her if I see her. She isn’t like me and has different interests and approaches to me. For example, I spend a lot of time on my appearance, weekly blow drys, nails, lashes, new clothes, gym sessions etc She seems to not spend any time on her appearance whatsoever. Now he’s with her, he’s changed. He used to agree with me and now argues with me. He won’t pay for my expenses like he used to and even suggested I stop trying to control him and focus on my new partner.

The friend of my friend was quite rude to me. She said I sound like a nightmare ex and then went on to say that I have no right to his money or his time and to leave him alone.

Am right to be upset? The evening ended awkwardly and my friend in the middle is upset and won’t comment on the situation.

You’re upset because you lack self awareness.

You are a nightmare ex.

You sound like a grabby ex for sure. You cannot have the divorce and still have access to all the money, you lost that right in the divorce. You have your home, assume a job to pay for your kids when you have them half the year and he pays for everything the half of a year he has them PLUS he pays for all their extras so you basically are looking for spousal support. I am not in the least surprised this woman has strong feelings with you sitting there bitching about your ex who provides for his kids and being nasty about his girlfriend. I can see why the marriage ended.

Come on now. This is written with the subtlety of a pantomime villain twirling her lashes in the mirror while demanding tribute from the ex-husband mines.
The weekly blow dry, nails, lashes, gym sessions and “she’s not like me” detail is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. As is the saintly ex who has 50/50 care, pays all the children’s expenses, refuses to fund OP’s personal upkeep, has found a wholesome low-maintenance girlfriend, and is now bravely learning the word “boundaries”.
It reads less like a genuine dilemma and more like a Daily Mail comments section prompt in a wig.
But on the off chance it is real: yes, being called a nightmare ex is upsetting. Unfortunately, when you tell strangers that you expect money despite 50/50 care, ignore your children’s father’s partner on sight, resent her presence, criticise her appearance, and object to your ex no longer agreeing with you, some of them may reach for the nearest available adjective.
Still, top marks for commitment to the character. Very polished. Weekly, presumably.

This is a wind up.
Finances and childcare arrangements are made during divorce proceedings.
I don't know if uber and apple accounts are covered.
Op should have agreed hair, nails, uber and apple when she got divorced. I'm sure solicitors would have loved to have advised.
Too late now. Bad luck.

Maybe spend less time and money on your appearance and learn how to spell (dries not drys).
But I think this a fake post anyway.

Thank you OP, I'm stuck in and bored and I needed a good laugh 😂

Slow Sunday for you, OP?

No of course you are not right to be upset- why on earth would an ex pay for you to keep up your appearance ? Why would he pay for your Uber's?
So you pay for your kids food while they are with you- goodness me you are a saint- why wouldn't you do that?
He is your ex, it is completely unreasonable you resenting the time he spends with his new girlfriend- he didn't sacrifice his life to you when he was with you.
There is no reason why he should pay you maintenance, or why he should pay for 100% of the kid's expenses?
It's obvious you wouldn't be interested in your ex's girlfriend , or your own friend- you are a self involved entitled nightmare- just like your friend said- being honest about doesn't make it acceptable behaviour.

This is an obvious troll everyone, but MN won't remove it.

This is a reverse, right?

Is this a reverse?

I think this is the new girlfriend writing.

NOBODY lacks this much self-awareness.

You are not his child. You are his ex partner. I bet you werent doing a thing for him, even making life easier in small ways.

Fair play to the new girlfriend making him see he was being used!

People have an issue with her treating his money as her own as if she's still entitled to it. Of course she's entitled to eminence if he earns more, but that's where it ends. He absolutely shouldn't have to pay for her expenses, (nails, hair, botox) her taxis everywhere, as if!

In that they've actually got some values?

This has got to be a reverse. Nobody could be this lacking in self-awareness.

Is this a reverse.. because yes you do sound like a shallow, bitter and jealous person with very little shame and rude about your exs new girlfriend who doesn't get blow drys and her nails done on your ex husbands money.. which you do?

Are you for real? I think he’s had a lucky escape ( when he finally does escape)!

The friend of a friend was right. You sound like an entitled nightmare!

What a coincidence that there is one of these at exact the same time as the one about the four-year-old going to see Thomas the Tank Engine. Both situations which seemed a bit unlikely.

"Even suggested that I stop controlling him" was where you over-egged it, OP. Well, that and the hair / nails thing. Effective trolling needs to be just that little bit more subtle.

OP is clearly an AI troll.

Why do you need maintenence? You should work for your own expenses, he's paying his share and more for the kids which is right as he earns more.
You should be thankful you've had 5 years out of him. The comments about his gf are out of order. Maybe he prefers someone who's not shallow.

You've had it good for a long time. And now you are behaving like a spoilt child. You are a nightmare ex.

In that other people have good ones and you don’t?