Can dating work for single parents with only school-hour free time?

[HoTToTouch]

I’m a single parent and my kids don’t see their dad. I have been a single parent for many years. However for the past four years I’ve basically had no break at all, but I’m just starting to get a bit of time back the catch is it’s only during school hours.

I’m wondering if anyone else has been in a similar position and actually managed to meet someone? As in, you have children and don’t have evenings, weekends, or full days free to spend building a relationship in the usual way.

People have suggested dating while the kids are at school, but I can’t quite picture how that works in reality or whether it’s enough to form something meaningful.

I think it’s starting to hit me that I might be on my own forever which I’m trying not to be sad about but I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s made this kind of situation work.
(For personal reasons I am unable to use babysitters)

Good for you, but plenty do.

Just so wrong

Well for a start i can hear when my son gets up and they know each other now

What does that change? Did you hide your boyfriend in the cupboard?

I personally could not risk my daughter waking up to a strange man in her house. But that's because I put my daughter first.

If i heard him, id tell him to go back to bed.

All my children have a good bond with him now. All get on amazing. They see him as dad which is a good thing as their dad is useless.

I do put them first. But i am allowed a life.

Op, I would love something similar for myself. If you find these type of men, let me know where. However, I do have family who regularly babysit for me for when I go to work. It would be a bit odd asking for childcare so I could go on a date. I find that highly awkward. So the type of men you looking for sound very appealing to me.

I am also not interested in bring men home to act like a father. They have their own father.

My kids don’t see their father but I’m not looking for a father for them they are older now. Just a partner for me obviously he needs to get along with my children though. Im sure they are out there somewhere, I follow a lot of single mums on social media and the majority of them have met new partners.

How far are your kids off from being left alone for a couple of hours OP? You've mentioned they're older so if they are approaching teen years you may well find some respite once they hit that age.

Be a tricky one, for daytime hookups yes easy peasy. But a relationship in school time Mon to Fri is very limiting.

You will get as said shift workers etc or guys like me who run a company & can work to their own timescales. Although in the latter, probably older than your age ranges because simply to be in that financial freedom position, because someone in my shoes is probably 20 yrs older than you. But still most would want to be spending evenings & wk ends & holidays with a partner anyway.

I think you will also be running the risk of married men etc as they will be still fine with family time & wk ends etc.

It wasn’t that long ago that you were on here saying their dad was amazing. 🙄 You obviously lied then and have now rushed into another relationship with 3 very young children. Poor kids

That was over 2 years ago. I didnt rush at all. I was in an abusive relationship. Hes not allowed to see them.

So no. Not poor kids. They are thriving.

My kids are teens/ preteens but for reasons I won’t go into they are unable to be left alone. I also do not want to wait until they are, im not getting any younger and I’ve already spent most of my best years raising kids.

You said he was an amazing partner and father. You lied to yourself and others. Women that do that tend to do it again with the next one. No doubt there will be another baby soon as it’s all rushed and a mess. Poor kids. And you dared to bully others for their choices.

I didnt lie. I didnt realise i was getting emotionally abused. Unless youve been through it. You wont have a clue. Im with a good man now.

Actually no chance of that. Had the snip. I didnt bully anyone.

Its not rushed. You dont know me or my life.

I am shocked by this. Do you have any knowledge of abusive relationships to pass such judgement?

Also to remember a username and details like that, to attack someone later on.. strange behaviour.

All you can do is have a go OP- as long as you’re honest about your situation and availability. You might find a decent bloke or you might not. Good luck.

Lots of people don’t work all day every day for a number of reasons. When my dc were small I met people for a variety of day time dates. One did go further and ended up meeting dc although they only ever knew him to be a friend so we’d spend time together in the day but then he’d come over after they were in bed and leave before they got up. Definitely not impossible! These days they are old enough I can go out whenever I like (which will happen for you too so know it won’t be hard forever) but I have zero interest. I’ve learned to like my own company

Sorry, I missed the part where you said your dd are a similar age to mine so maybe you have extra challenges you haven’t mentioned?!

Yes I don’t want to give too much info on here but just wanting to know if it’s possible, it’s nice to hear you made it work. I’ve spent long enough in my own company so wanting to get back out there and share life with someone again. I miss having someone.

Babysitters? Start building favours with friends?

It’s in my post that I can’t use sitters. Friends do not want to swap babysitting favours

I wouldn't date someone in your situation because it's too restrictive.

It also sounds like you don't work and you have children with high needs - this will also reduce the number of people who would consider starting a relationship with you.

I agree that you'd probably be limited to something casual, although whether they're upfront with you about that is debatable

Im not ruling casual out, I have needs, but ideally prefer a relationship.

Very strange behaviour.