Can dating work for single parents with only school-hour free time?

[HoTToTouch]

I’m a single parent and my kids don’t see their dad. I have been a single parent for many years. However for the past four years I’ve basically had no break at all, but I’m just starting to get a bit of time back the catch is it’s only during school hours.

I’m wondering if anyone else has been in a similar position and actually managed to meet someone? As in, you have children and don’t have evenings, weekends, or full days free to spend building a relationship in the usual way.

People have suggested dating while the kids are at school, but I can’t quite picture how that works in reality or whether it’s enough to form something meaningful.

I think it’s starting to hit me that I might be on my own forever which I’m trying not to be sad about but I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s made this kind of situation work.
(For personal reasons I am unable to use babysitters)

Ok thanks that sounds positive

Do you work OP? Do you have any good connections with your work?
You say your parents don't help, I can't imagine you not having any friends who wouldn't mind helping every now and again? I know I would help a friend out.

im a full time single parent, my DD goes to her dads 4 nights a month so its not a lot. But my parents have DD every now and again and ive made myself a really good friend danio network too. That helps heaps imo.

Make people work shifts or flexible hours, so could make it work. It would reduce your pool of available guys though.

My husband and I don't get much peace in the evenings from the kids, can't use babysitters but both have very flexible working, so we sometimes have dates in the day, and then catch up on work in the evenings.

My first thought was Uniform Dating!

No friends that can have my kids. Not sure why that’s surprising. You have one child i dont.

And also you are not a full time single parent if your child goes to their dads every other weekend. Im a lone parent

You’ve been asked if you work OP , I’m guessing it’s a no as you’ve avoided answering a couple of times now ?

I think it will be hard unless the guy works nights only

Why are you being so rude?! You're going to struggle if that's how you speak to people trying to help you..
I am a full time single parent. I am single, and I have my daughter full time. I didn't say I was a lone parent, did I?

Christ you really are racing to the bottom.
Suit yourself!

I was wondering the same.

I'll probably get a shorty reply to that too🤣

No. I wouldn't bother. I'd use that time to go to the gym, do some OU studying, volunteer and tidy up my house.
I've been on my own for 16yrs, no dates or nights off.

OP I've been in your situation, lone parent with no family support. I'm sorry to say that dating wasn't possible for me, or at least until my youngest was old enough to be left on her own for a couple of hours.

I don't think she was being rude. She was specific in her OP that she was asking for information/feedback from Mums who don't have evenings and/or weekends free. Your response not only didn't answer her question, but made unhelpful 'suggestions' which her OP had already made clear would not work.

That's not for you to say. I don't have evenings free, and I don't have every weekend free either.

When me and EXH split up I didn't have any time free too, so I've been where OP is. I didn't have any spare time for nearly a year because her did didn't stick to arrangements. The suggestions may be 'unhelpful' but they're just that, suggestions. So they can be taken with a pinch of salt.

Being realistic it will be very hard to have a proper relationship but you may find someone interested in a fwb situation. I briefly dated a pilot, that might work well for you for instance. Any man (or woman) looking for a relationship that develops would be quickly want to go past what seems like sneaking around in the daytime, in your situation I would be exploring what options you have for babysitting going forward, not easy for many (especially if there’s Sen involved) but I’m being realistic as to how a proper relationship develops

I don’t think it would be very fair on your potential future partner to only ever be available during school hours. I say this with kindness but the majority of people will want to be with someone they can take out to dinner, weekends away etc.

I think it would be pretty difficult OP. One of my friends did do it and met a lovely man, they both worked in the city centre so they were able to meet during lunch breaks and both had the flexibility to take longer lunches on those days but even still it wasn’t really enough to build something serious and because they only ever got to spend a max of 90 mins together it never ended up being more than just dates on weekdays, eventually he wanted more than that and she just wasn’t prepared to take a leap of faith allowing him to come to her family home- totally understandable and I would feel the same.

I do have friends who are single parents who have met partners and some who are still very happily together now but those were the ones who either had family support for the odd date nights or friends who helped out for date nights/weekends away etc. I can’t see how you could ever safely feel comfortable going from lunch dates to having someone in your home with you and your children without ever having spent a night or much time with them yourself.

I’m in this situation and essentially you need to be prepared to use babysitters. I had my kids 24/7 and my parents didn’t do childcare so babysitters were the only option

Thank you, it’s really frustrating when mums who get every other weekend off think they are in the same situation as lone parents who never get a night off.

It’d likely have to be a shift worker, but I would think it’s possible. My friend was in a similar situation to you, only had childcare when I was available to babysit (do you have friends that could help?), and she met a guy who was a paramedic. They’ve been married two years now, and for the first 9 months was lunch dates and the occasional evening.

Do you need a man pronto or....?

No unfortunately not if I had anyone to ask I honestly would. They would help in an emergency but not as regular child care.

Clearly haven’t read my thread.

Read my previous post, I was a lone parent for a long time before her dad started having her. I HAVE been the same parent as you. It doesn't need to be a race to the bottom.

A year? Hardly a long time.