Was I right to block him after another vague date plan, what am I doing wrong?

[Karlaken]

So I was talking to this one guy the end of last year, he begged me for a date the date came and he unexpectedly had a family emergency so I excused it. Things fell of from there, months later he comes back I entertain it cause I was bored my mistake. He organizes a date for this week asks me what I’m doing, if I’m free on certain days etc. This is him initiating to see me, I’m not asking him or even making an effort in our conversations. I agree he suggested a certain place and I declined and he said let’s do something else. So I agree to that.

So he said that he had a few spots he wanted to take me on. I ask him the name of the place he says “I don’t know the name I’m going to ask a friend”? Then he asks me if the certain time we agreed to still works I say yes. He still texting me as normal, I started to withdrawal cause I knew he was on some bull, you still haven’t given me the name of the spot?

Fast forward to the day of the “date” he sends me these texts

GOOD MORNINN
WAKE UP ITS A GOOD DAY FOR US
soo on this good day like this we gone have a good one…

So you’re texting me for what? There’s still no time, place, location, effort. He should have kept it playa and just said nothing today why even send a text.

Then he sends me a voice note at 3pm keep in mind our time was 7:30pm

“Work has been so busy today, so much stuff has happened. Did you still want to hang out later today, so and so is a good spot to go to”

BLOCKED.
That was it, I’m appalled I mean who do these men think I am? I try to give people the benefit of the doubt yet I feel like a laughing stock. I’m not sure what I’m dong wrong or what type of vibe I’m giving off to these weird men.

So pretty much he didn’t like how I looked, and he acted like that?

I doubt it has anything to do with how you look.

Probably he got a "better offer" like drugs, booty call or his girlfriend was about to catch him out. In and out of loos suggests drugs to me.

Don't give it so much headspace. He's a nob.

Listen to your gut next time. Sorry if anything posters here said, including me, steered you wrong.

I’m far too old to know anything about modern dating/social media etiquette, and I was inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt at first. But Jesus FC, he’s shown his true colours quickly, hasn’t he?! What an absolute, weapons-grade fuckwit. And yes, I’ve met more than one coked-up idiot in my time, and he shows all the signs and symptoms.
Take it as an overall win, op. You’ll never have to give him a moment’s headspace ever again.

Why the need to block him? Just tell him you don’t want to meet him now and leave it at that. Blocking him is just rude and unnecessary.

None of us have any idea, all we know is that he's messed you about and acted like an idiot. How did you end up going on a date if you blocked him?

I honestly wouldn't give him a second extra of your time, he isn't your person.

Based on the information here and just me being dumb I decided to just maybe give him a chance since I’ve never met him. We ended up talking on the phone and I said I was free the next week, he kept on insisting that we should do something that day later on.. so I agreed

Don't give him any more chances!

of course not, he’s blocked forever

Well you have your answer- he's unable to go on a date and behave passably well. End of.

I suggest people have a look at this OP's posting history before investing too much energy. She posts endless 'But what does this mean? Does he like me or not?' threads about every single dating interaction she has.

Goodness me. Quite the tale.

Two thing stand out.

This guy is a total jerk. You thought he was and you were right. So of course you were right to block him. How could you be wrong? Now you need to trust your gut for future dates.

You do sound like hard work and could be managing the dating game far more sensibly. You are rigid in your expectations so loosen up a bit, decide on a small number of deal-breakers and take some of the initiative by letting the date know what you want - 'So when should we firm up Friday?' You are asking so many questions that sap your energy for someone you don't give a fig about - What did he think? Why did he do this? Does he find me attractive? Here too, loosen up! Your writing style is not easy to follow - questions marks at the end of statements, using one word when you mean something else, changing from one tense to another and back again, jumping from one point to another, injections of anxiety. Less is more.

Typos

Let's look at the facts:

• You arranged a date with this man 4 months ago but he cancelled in advance and then you lost contact

• He then got back in touch and you agreed to go on another date with him

• But you blocked him just before the date because he wasn't clear enough about where you were going to meet

• You then unblocked him and met him at a restaurant, although you were late

• Shortly after meeting him for the first time, he disappeared to the toilet and then left the restaurant without letting you know, but later messaged you that he had a family emergency

• You then blocked him again but monitored his social media pages, and saw that he had a social night out that evening

• You're now wondering if he left because he found you too attractive.

He sounds terrible but you might need to work on yourself. Did you behave in an extreme way when you met him at the restaurant? Would you know if you did?

Or maybe he was getting you back for blocking him? It just sounds like you both weren’t meant to be op, try and forget it

You can break contact with him for any (or no) reason; no random person on a dating site has a right to your time and attention. There's no need to explain to us or anyone else.

Earlier on in this story it might have made more sense to say "this isn't working out - please don't contact me again" than to simply block, which he might have thought was a mistake and so kept trying to contact you - as I guess he did since you had him blocked and yet still went out with him. Don't waste any more time thinking about it; this person has already wasted a LOT of your time and energy and you're done. Maybe watch out for red flags earlier next time and don't ignore your gut feelings; only you now what you will and won't accept.

Ah i knew I recognised the tone. Is this the one from America who either got upset or someone she dated got upset over an arm being in a photo? And was meant to be moving to some guys state and he said he’d pay for everything or similar? I remember all those threads.

Ah, just read her old posts, and yes.

Every single thread is her over and very poorly analysing something a man has done, talking about how beautiful she is, never properly explaining what the issue is and never listening to anyone's feedback (or any man she meets). And non-stop question marks!

Oh dear. That's me conned. I'll know better next time 🙄

Meanwhile,

What do you do when you're trying to find a needle in the haystack? Burn the haystack down ie block all the uncommitted ones, the players, and the creeps.

My over-literal brain is simply picturing a pile of charred hay in which the needle still cannot be found.

Firstly, you have an odd way with words, OP.

Secondly - dont ever give anyone a chance after they ghosted you.

He sounds like a bit of a nutter to me..Why all the Cat and Mouse. Cloak and Dagger stuff.

I.think.she had a lucky escape.

It’s nothing to do with you or anything you did or how you look, he just sounds a right idiot and probably mixed up in unsavoury business from the sound of it. I’m sure he’s the same with everyone.

I think it's the other way around. Had he been attracted he would have made the effort once you met. Unfortunately, regardless of how beautiful you are not everyone will be attracted to you. Granted he didn't deal with it very well but nothing lost here. Just move on.

I meant to say * wasn’t

Sounds like cocaine to me.

You've just met an idiot who has issues with engagement.