The Dating Thread 57 - The Darling Buds

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

• If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!

-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Oh my good god 😱

Yeah the pheromones is such a thing. Doesn't indicate compatibility no, but helps on the attraction front. The smell of a man's chest/armpits are where his pheromones are. Womens come out of their head. Its evolutionary, women being shorter usually than men, they smell our heads we fit under their arm pit/at chest level 😂

Well after having some promising irons a few days ago I’m back down to zero again 😂

Mr Driver - I just felt that between his job and work commitments it wouldn’t give me what I’m looking for. Plus I found out he’s currently living in the spare bedroom at his mum’s. Following a break up however this was 2 years ago so it doesn’t seem like he’s keen to get a move on anytime soon. I don’t want to always be the hostess and would like reciprocal effort and don’t fancy sneaking in and out like a teenager doing the walk of shame 😂

Mr Dancer - became very love-bomby! I called him out on it so that’s that.

Mr Cool - still playing it very cool. Nice guy but very hard to read. Mostly sending 5 minute voice notes but zero flirting going on even though I’ve tried on a few occasions, so my attention has dwindled.

Aaaaaand back I go on my quest!

Fair play - was it from a good angle?

I'd be tempted to swipe right just to find out why......

It looked like something off crimewatch or cowboy builders.

@empirebiscuits12 unless you and he are early 20s living with his Mum is 🚩🚩🚩

You know, I’d be able to look past it if he was in the process of actively changing his situation. I get that moving back there after his break up just til he found his feet. However this has been 2 YEARS!! Big huge no from me, no doubt aiming to cock lodge!

And we are early to mid 40s.

That's one of the reasons I called things off with Boat Man. I actually retched once.

Oof - all these messages about smells - just eaten lol.

Also now considering whether I’ll need to be a tell him to shower person soon, not got quite so up close yet to check - and no reason to think this, though I guess you don’t know until you do. Tbh though I wouldn’t probably say - my actions may say it for me 🤢 - and I’d not be looking for a repeat ha!

@empirebiscuits12,that's frustrating, but at least they have revealed themselves early doors, so you haven't wasted too much time and effort.

My irons are dropping like flies, too. Mr Stockholm appears to have picked up on my lack of energy and is now matching it (fair enough). And Mr Lincolnshire, who was always a long shot, this morning revealed himself to be yet another chancer looking for a quick hook-up, so he's out.

So now I'm down to just Radiators, who continues to surprise and delight, and will no doubt turn out to be married.....

I'm still swiping, and just rematched with a guy I matched with months ago on a brief foray back onto the apps. I had forgotten what happened - he reminded me he was only looking for NSA sex then, but is now claiming he is looking for a relationship? Not sure whether to entertain it - he is quite hot? In grizzled, stern looking way.....

@Ilovelurchers you know and I know he has just twigged claiming he's looking for a LTR is more likely to get him what he wants 😁

You're right. And if I remember correctly, he got a bit shitty with me when I turned him down the last time - claimed I "didn't know what I wanted."

Off to unmatch him now! Thank you. Sometimes it's helpful to run things past somebody else, just to check you aren't going mad(der).

While there are only a couple of people I’ve met from the apps who I’ve had any real chemistry with, I would say that the chat was always good with them right from the beginning. So if your not feeling it now then k would go with your gut!

Go Mr Radiators! Remind me, have you guys met in person yet?

OMG that’s hilarious!! Seriously though, why on earth was he thinking….?!?!

2 weeks?, 😱 Good grief. What on earth was his excuse??

So despite telling me on Friday that he isn’t keen on commitment, Mr Charismatic surprised me yesterday by calling me and asking if he could join me to view an open home I was seeing that was not too far from him. He turned up, charming as ever, and even said if I’m seeing any more today that he will come if he’s free. Then was messaging me loads last night with pics of all the furniture he’s bought for his new house. Honestly, I don’t know what is up with men who say they don’t want a relationship but then seem to want to behave like they’re in one!!

Meeting Mr Starship this afternoon for a first date, it’s sunny here so we are meeting at a cafe by the beach.

And Mr Nomad will be here this Thursday, staying with me until Sunday at least. I think I’m going to have a serious chat with him and tell him either we are in a relationship, or we have to stop acting like we are in one as I feel like we are in a weird no man’s land in between. And I think it’s stopping me from being able to find an actual relationship with someone.

Pretty sure thinking was not one of his ambitions.

Unclear. He was also so special he didn't need to clean his teeth twice a day or use soap to wash his hands.

Hahaha seems not!
Argh I just realised “what” got autocorrected to “why” in my post. I am not as hard of thinking as that man, I promise! 😂

@BoxOfCats prefacing this with I know nothing about nothing...he wants a relationship minus the responsibility.

He wants all the good stuff, and to be able to opt out of anything he doesn't fancy.

Eeeek noooo…

My younger sister tells me I need to give anyone I date an “adult test”, which includes things like leaving an empty loo roll in the bathroom and seeing if they put it in the bin or not, along with some hygiene - ones like checking if they wash their hands. I thought she was a bit nuts at first but now I’m starting to see the reasoning!

Yes that’s what my best friend thinks too. He makes quite a lot of effort for our actual dates - when I went over the other night there was wine, fancy cheese, mood lighting, music - the works! - and he took me out for dinner. He’d even bought some really nice pastries for breakfast the next morning, and was otherwise a very lovely and considerate host.

In some ways I kind of don’t mind the “no responsibility” part as I don’t want someone making huge demands of my time and attention either. And at least he lives close by (unlike Mr Nomad). I am mindful of not wanting to float along in a situationship long term though…

Venturing back onto Hinge and one of the first profiles is Mr T back again. His bio states a woman must be 100% committed and all in, and must be willing to reply to texts about your day….
Either a passive aggressive dig at me or he’s just decided to show how creepy and obsessive he is to put future dates off from the start! I really did dodge a bullet here.
I tried FB dating for 10 mins but that still a horror show.

@Brightbluesomething MrT tells on himself with that disciplinary directive (also it makes him sound bonkers).