Partner said I’ve let my self go

[Mommy2onexxx]

Today my partner picked me up from work we have been together for 5 ish years , he’s been so cold towards me recently and kept commenting on my looks , I kinda shrugged the comments off like an idiot , anyways today when I got in the car I asked him why he is being so horrible I explained he is making me feel small and unworthy , he said this is because I’ve let my self go and I don’t glam up the way I used to do my hair and makeup everyday ect , I explained I simply do not have the time the way I used to when I was 18 19 , I work , I’m a mom I run a home and I’m working towards my level 4 qualification, he said I should make time , I know he does truly find me ugly now I can just tell I see him searching other women he is so sharp and snappy with me and he is out all the time . I think what I’m looking for here is someone to tell me that it’s okay to loose your way abit I just feel so heartbroken

Sounds like he is comparing yoy to another lady that he may like, hence the coldness an the comments about your looks. He is clearly an idiot.

I'd let himself go.

What a total prick. I'd say it's time to let something else go, too - HIM. You don't need this. It's so so hard/time consuming to be a Mum on top of everything else. I'm pretty lucky if I manage to brush my hair!

Why not say to him... well, that's a great idea, I'm going to need Saturday and Sunday next week to REALLY put in some self-care time a the spa with the girls. Thanks for that.

But to be honest though, I think this kind of comment, and also him being out all the time is beyond telling him you need to make time for yourself. It seems like it's time to get your ducks in a row. Sending strength - you are wonderful, just as you are.

You are improving your mind and career sense. Bin him off, OP.

LTB

What a horrible man!! I think you should indulge in some self care to pick yourself up: get a nice haircut or a spa day out, make up makeover or nails done but not to indulge him.

I agree he’s comparing you unfavourably to someone else. That’s reprehensible and I’d let this one go.

Does he look exactly like the man you met 5 years ago? I would very much doubt it.

I hope you know you deserve so much better than this? You deserve to be cherished, appreciated and made to feel respected, cared for and loved. He’s treating you like crap when he’s the one person in the world who should be your biggest supporter, best friend and equal partner. Please please get away from him. Don’t let your child see you being ground down by a nasty bastard. Don’t carry on living like this a day longer than you absolutely have to.

I bet he’s let himself go!
wjo cares anyway, he need binning. Get rid of the negativity
whet a tw*t

Get rid of him ! He is not worthy of you even trying to rekindle anything .

Really couldn’t have said it better myself.

I’m pretty sure I’m older than you. I love my dh but if he said that to me, I don’t need the person who is supposed to love me being the person trying to bring me down. He’d be gone. I am only guessing but does he do his share of household chores/childcare and children admin?

This

No I do all house work , the bills are also all in my name so my responsibility our little girl I would say is fully my responsibility to apart from the two days he picks her up from nursery .

When u wear make up it should be for u not him. Does he make an effort? Is it ok for him to be more relaxed? Joggers, hoddy and scratching his balls? My lovely boyfriend once asked me if I would dress up up in some sexy underwear. My immediate reaction was, what was he going to dress up in?

Your worth is not based on your looks.

Yep 👍

1000%.

LTB

Reading this made me feel sad. You haven’t let yourself go, you are prioritising how you spend your time.

What do you get out of this relationship? Sounds like he has checked out if he’s out all the time / leaving you to do all the unpaid labour. Living with someone who resents / hates you is the absolute worst.

You haven't "let yourself go'. You have other priorities and less time , not to mention that
wearing makeup should only be for yourself, not for anyone else.

I second this 👍🏻

Christ he doesn't bring much to the table.

Stop giving him any attention and focus on yourself now. He needs to be blanked and ignored, just laugh at him. Start putting yourself first and you’ll see him and his words so differently. He will look pathetic!
I say this from personal experience

Start making time - tell him he needs to shop and cook and take over some of the bills so you can go to the gym and the hairdressers, etc. Make yourself feel good about yourself physically (which is important to most people). Then start planning to lose the dead weight (him).