Breaking a trauma bond while pregnant - need urgent help

[CinnamonSwirlLatte]

Please be gentle.

I'm 25 weeks pregnant and this is around the 8th time I've left or tried to leave him in around 2 years. I know he is bad news for me, but I'm struggling really badly. I have four children already and NO support network.

This guy has been so sweet and loving, but also obsessive. When I've left him before, he has always found ways to contact me (even when blocked on everything), or covertly stalked me. I have only ever gone back to him when I've been vulnerable e.g. when I nearly lost my job over a false allegation, when I was very poorly, when I had fallen out with someone and was upset about it and had had a few glasses of wine. He has immediately swooped in and "saved" me.

He already has a conviction for harassment against someone else. He is on the Sex Offenders Register. He has a 4 year old he has never tried to see. He is manipulative, he has threatened to kill himself, he is banned from driving, he is in a shit load of debt, he's crazily jealous. I tried to leave him at Christmas and he cried, shouted, begged, wouldn't leave, smashed his phone and punched himself repeatedly.

However now, after days of begging, he has suddenly gone quiet and it's even more upsetting for some reason, not to mention worrying. We live very close to each other. I'm scared he will try to use the baby to "get back in". I've already been through family court with an abusive ex and I cannot do it again.

Part of me thinks I should have just stayed with him, just so I know what he's going to do. I keep crying at night when the kids are asleep.

I have contacted a local domestic abuse charity.

Please someone help me be strong.

Of course he's never been in my work place

I don't know. My manager last year was psychotic. Thankfully I have a new one now!

He's not on probation. The police obviously know about me because he has given a statement about how he was there and witnessed what this colleague did

Again, how do you know that PPU have your details?

Well, how did they know about me? They literally said to him about how he "has a new girlfriend with loads of kids, the one who was being stalked?" and he said "oohhh, no, she's just a friend" and they praised him for not getting himself tied down to a single mother at his age

You only know this because he told you!! If theyd said, "Derek, you know you're not allowed to be around kids, what's going on", and he'd said, "nah, she's just a friend, I never stay overnight, I just go for a drink with her once a month" YOU WOULD NOT KNOW THIS.

How did you find out he was a RSO in the first place? I really think it would be wise for you to ask for a Clairs Law disclosure.

He told me he was one

You need to be honest to professionals when it comes to your children's safety, jesus. Have you ever had SS with your older children?

Nope

Are you trolling? I'm struggling to believe this is real the more I read.

If you think I'm a troll please don't respond. This is why I don't reach out for help, the fear of not being believed

Also is it 4 kids you have or 6?

I guessed that. How did he introduce the subject to you? Have you ever seen his paperwork?

I work with a great many RSOs. They all lie, and they virtually all try and groom the professionals around them. They are very practised at this. The women they hook up with don't stand a chance.

I cannot speak for that poster, but my sense of disbelief is not because you've hooked up with a registered sex offender, but because you are adamant that all the agencies that exist to support you cannot possibly do so.

Plenty of women make mistakes when choosing men. Once they realise their mistake, most of them would take your arm off for any and all help to protect themselves and their children. But not you.

Ask the police for a Claire's Law disclosure.

He's definitely groomed PPU! They always tell me how he's a good boy and thank him for not causing them any bother.

He just told me on our first date. I was v drunk. PPU have told him that he's TOO honest and doesn't have to tell everyone he meets!

Because I don't need help from them right now. I need to be more stabilised before I rush in and open a can of worms

Sorry, tell HIM, not me!

Stop stalking me and fuck off.

Have i touched a nerve ,at least remember what you put in previous posts .

You say this and then you say further on the in the thread:

He's definitely groomed PPU! They always tell me how he's a good boy and thank him for not causing them any bother.

which is it?

In the nicest possible way, you haven't got a clue what's going on with him and PPU. I assure you that it is NOT happy jokey relationships, all lads together. It just isn't.

I am genuinely interested why he told you he was a sex offender on your first date, and you still went along for a second date.

I have already corrected that typo, read faster

They're not lads, they're women.

I know what I've put in previous posts, and I will never put 100% accurate details about my personal life in them

Is that REALLY what you took from my comment? Anyway, since you've allegedly had nothing to do with them, and you're only going on what your boyfriend tells you, they could be bloody aliens for all you know.

How do you know there's no SHPO? Did he tell you? How do you know he isn't absolutely banned from being around under-18s?