Partner forcing abortion. Broken

[omgno45]

Hello
please be kind I’m on the edge.

I have 3 children from previous relationship. (16,15,8)

with my current partner we have a 1 year old. All the kids are happy etc. I love being a mum. It’s my purpose.
my older 3 adore our 1 year old.

we’ve had an “accident” and I’m pregnant. About 5 weeks.
my partner has hit the roof. He’s told me if I keep it he’s not walking the path with me and he’s leaving me for good and will only see our son. He’s told me he can’t have sex with me anymore. He’s says I’m selfish to keep it and it’s all about me and he’s said I’m not well and need intervention because keeping it means I’m not thinking straight.

im so sad. I really really want it. He keeps asking babe you ordered abortion tablets yet etc he’s really pressuring me. Honestly what do I do. Any advice please I love him but I hate how he’s approaching me

Judging by OP’s previous posts, certainly.

Only one way to make a child!

Is he objecting for practical or financial reasons or something else? Have you discussed how things will work or do you want the baby no matter how much it disadvantages the rest of the family? Did you discuss having another baby or not having more children before this happened?

To be fair I know someone who did.

I’m sure both being independently rich helped, though.

He should have thought of that before having sex. He can be as stressed out as he likes - it’s the OP who has to go through the pregnancy, the Labour, the delivery, the breastfeeding ( if she chooses to) the sleepless nights and she will also be the one looking after 5 kids when he fecks off.
Her body , her choice

To be fair it’s also a choice for OP to go through all of that. She doesn’t have to.

He is panicking, that happens.

Wait a bit and see if he calms down and accepts your pregnancy. Let him know how hurtful he is being to you, after all it took two to make the pregnancy. He needs to apologise, be genuinely contrite.

After this one, make sure there are no more accidents!

Good luck.

I'm so sorry. Your relationship with him is over. I don't think this is recoverable. He's trying to manipulate you in anyway he can to have a termination, suggesting he'll only see your son, suggesting you have poor MH. Next he'll suggest you are ruining his life or that if you continue the pregnancy he'll end his life. They are all tactics and abusive. You are going to be a single mum. You just need to decide how many kids you'll be a mum to.

My H and I didn't want anymore children. He knows I wouldn't be able to terminate a pregnancy, not for any morale reasons, because my MH wouldn't recover. I had a lot of pregnancy loss while TTC. He had a vasectomy so I wouldn't need to continue to take contraption and accidents wouldn't happen.

It is your choice to make. No one else can do that but whichever way you decide, that disgrace of a man needs to go either way.

Just because he doesn't want another child with OP doesn't make him an abuser.

Given that she describes having children as her "purpose in life", it's also possible she deliberately set out to get pregnant without his consent.

Please read ops previous posts. She doesn’t need to talk it out with him. He abuses her and their baby. She needs to run like hell away from him

Just because he doesn't want another child with OP doesn't make him an abuser

No, but this does.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5447046-5447046-cheating-horrible-man-post-partum?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

As does trying to coerce her into an abortion.

You need to speak to someone urgently about his abusive coercive behavior. Your body your choice! Dont let him force you into what you dont want
Get rid of this loser and get help and support

This is her 5th thread about him and the 4 previous are all about his abuse of her and their baby

Typical man. Wants the fun but not the consequences. What a prick. It's his responsibility as well as yours. He needs the snip, pretty damn quick!

Leave the waste of oxygen he is not your part er or your friend or even in live with you or he would t have said those things ! It’s your body , your life , your family

This the partner you split up with last year? Maybe have a read through your other threads.

He is probably right that it’s not a great idea, five is a lot to parent well, and I don’t know your circumstances but it would be very hard for most people financially too.

But the way he is going about it is awful. It may be coming from panic, it may be that he suspects you did it on purpose, or it may be he’s just a bully - only you know. Either way, it is your body and your choice and he cannot “force” you to have an abortion.

I got deleted for quoting her own words from a previous post, and asking something similar to you.

My ex husband about 16/17 years ago forced me to have an abortion and even though we subsequently divorced, I’ve regretted it ever since. Once we divorced he remarried 2 years later and went on to have 3 boys with her!! My life went slightly differently, didn’t meet another partner until I was nearly 40, and by then was really passed it and not in a position to rush in to starting a family with him.

I know my circumstances are a bit different given you already have 4 children, but if I were you, I’d leave it a week or so, and then have a serious chat with him.

Then frankly she is beyond irresponsible to want to move on with yet another pregnancy so that yet another child will be fathered by an abuser.

Words fail me.

There is absolutely no point in having any more children with this man or any other like him.

OP you need to leave asap and also look into getting an abortion for the sake of your other children.

It sounds like you have a psychological compulsion to have babies.
That is not healthy for you or your existing children.
You need therapy to help you to understand why you are so keen to have babies you are not in a position to look after on your own.

Your purpose should be to look after the four children you already have and to do your best to set them up in life not keep bringing more vulnerable children into the world. It's not fair to them even if it makes you feel good in the short term.

How old are you op.

That’s really not the issue here.

You probably both need to take a breath for 48 hours. No easy route. But a bit of time to both think and come back to each other with a practical chat might help from experience.