Partner forcing abortion. Broken

[omgno45]

Hello
please be kind I’m on the edge.

I have 3 children from previous relationship. (16,15,8)

with my current partner we have a 1 year old. All the kids are happy etc. I love being a mum. It’s my purpose.
my older 3 adore our 1 year old.

we’ve had an “accident” and I’m pregnant. About 5 weeks.
my partner has hit the roof. He’s told me if I keep it he’s not walking the path with me and he’s leaving me for good and will only see our son. He’s told me he can’t have sex with me anymore. He’s says I’m selfish to keep it and it’s all about me and he’s said I’m not well and need intervention because keeping it means I’m not thinking straight.

im so sad. I really really want it. He keeps asking babe you ordered abortion tablets yet etc he’s really pressuring me. Honestly what do I do. Any advice please I love him but I hate how he’s approaching me

What about the welfare of her other four children?

She won't stop at five, she will end up with 10 or more because she has psychological problems.

I grew up with a mother like her - it's not fair on the children.

Keep the baby or you will regret it for the rest of your life.

It’s your body and your baby. It’s inside you, not him.

Keep strong and don’t let him bully you into something you don’t want to do.

That's emotional blackmail and utterly cruel to her and her four children.

I was told the same by extremists like you in my twenties but had an abortion anyway.

I have never regretted it.

If it were me, I’d terminate. But OP said she really wants to keep the baby. This will end her relationship meaning she will need to find sources of income (assuming her partner will only pay towards the child that’s his). Her only feasible option is welfare. And as a lone parent of 5, she should be entitled to a considerable amount, assuming she’s based in the UK.

This relationship is done. I’d be deciding on whether I want to be without him with the baby, or without him and the baby.

Dont say that to someone having to make this incredibly hard decision, how do you know what she’ll end up regretting.

Is he actually back in your life OP? In Nov you’d done a Claire’s Law application with some ‘scary’ results and had walked away from him.

For the record I’m absolutely pro-choice but in this case I’m telling you, FGS do not bring another baby into this mess.

Get away from this psychopath and concentrate on your four DC already

I'm assuming you knew he didn't want another child and that's why your pregnancy had to be an "accident".

He can't force you to have an abortion, of course, but you have to accept that your relationship is unlikely to survive your "accident", whether you continue with the pregnancy or not.

You appear to have two choices. You can be a single mother of four children, or a single mother of five.

Your primary concern should be for the welfare of the children you already have. Do you have the means to give them the life they deserve without the support of your partner?

From what you have told us it seems he is unlikely to do more than the absolute minimum to support his family and he has no obligation at all to the older ones.

You need to find out what support is available to you as soon as possible and make a decision that is in the best interests of the children you have already brought into the world.

Thank you for the link Rosecoffeecup!

The relationship is finished regardless what you want to do with your pregnancy going forwards. He’s an utterly vile man.
im so sorry OP.

edited to add: just seen your other thread, you know this man is vile from your first pregnancy with him, ermmm… why are you still with him? Let alone carry his second child? Are you mad?!

Maybe it's her who wanted sex?

Most women who have abortions feel nothing but relief that their pregnancy is over.

I know of a number of women who have had abortions and none of them have had any regrets at all.

That's an unsupported broad generalization. 🤦‍♀️

She should leave him full stop and stay single.

Oh I didn't see that. I'll see if I can find the link to have a read.

After others suggestions to use advanced search...
What on earth are you thinking? You have posted that he is the devil, has weapons etc. You have also posted on other people's threads that baby number 4 affected your mental health, took a happy mum away from your first three children and were struggling with having four children.

Do you really think bringing a baby into that shitshow is responsible???

Open your eyes and live in the real world.

I’ve made it clear to OP I’m not trained to give advice. I’ve no idea of OP’s wealth, financial or earning capacity, health, disabilities etc.

It’s possible to have babies in childcare from 6 months old. Lots of lone and couple parents have to do that. But it costs, even with government help.

Welfare benefits are also impractical, especially with 5 children, due to the household benefit cap, which I oppose. It leaves barely any money for rent and results in predominantly lone mother families (especially larger ones) trapped in homeless accommodation, which is v damaging. It leaves some families too poor to afford some housing association rents. So, it depends where OP currently lives and how she pays for it and other essential costs.

If her partner currently pays it all, she needs advice on what she’s entitled to if he ends the relationship, so she can consider if this will be enough to afford another child.

Hello all,

This thread is turning into a pile-on onto an OP who has come here for help and support, and who is very vulnerable. We don't want to delete it entirely as there's also lots of helpful advice that we wouldn't want the OP to lose. So we are going to close it now.