Partner forcing abortion. Broken

[omgno45]

Hello
please be kind I’m on the edge.

I have 3 children from previous relationship. (16,15,8)

with my current partner we have a 1 year old. All the kids are happy etc. I love being a mum. It’s my purpose.
my older 3 adore our 1 year old.

we’ve had an “accident” and I’m pregnant. About 5 weeks.
my partner has hit the roof. He’s told me if I keep it he’s not walking the path with me and he’s leaving me for good and will only see our son. He’s told me he can’t have sex with me anymore. He’s says I’m selfish to keep it and it’s all about me and he’s said I’m not well and need intervention because keeping it means I’m not thinking straight.

im so sad. I really really want it. He keeps asking babe you ordered abortion tablets yet etc he’s really pressuring me. Honestly what do I do. Any advice please I love him but I hate how he’s approaching me

Lets face it, your relationship is done for. You abort and he stays you will hate him for forcing you to have an abortion.
You have this child, he goes, he wont see it, from sounds of your post and your going to hate him anyway

So how about you do what YOU want to do. This is your life, your body and your choice. Stuff him, if he didn't want you to get pregnant he could have worn condoms or had the snip.

Abusing you and calling your mental health in question is really horrible and mean. He is not blameless in all of this.

Abort the partner.
Keep your child.
See a female GP for support with your decision.

If he was so sure he didn't want anymore children he should have had the snip, your youngest child is 1 he's had plenty of time to get on the waiting list, he'd have been done by now had he gone to the doctors as soon as your child arrived. You didn't get yourself pregnant so I'm not quite sure why he is talking to you like you did? If my husband spoke to me like our relationship would be over either way. If you want the baby, have the baby, it is your decision, he can't force you into an unwanted abortion. It's his choice if he doesn't want to see his child, but he will be paying maintenance for both whether he likes it or not.

Leave him.Your relationship is over anyway.

5 children is far too many, in any circumstances. Your call if you stay with him, but 5 is irresponsible. As is 4 to be honest.

What a stupid thing to say.

If your purpose is to be a mother and devote yourself to your children, I think that means you have to priorotise them and get away from this abusive man and horrible relationship. He isn't going to treat them well while treating you like dirt; he's already been abusive to your youngest, according to the other thread.

Did he take responsibility for contraception? If he was so bothered why didn’t he arrange a vasectomy after your last child? You’re between a rock and a hard place, single mum to five or resentful of a man who acts like that.

Not everyone manages to find a way... thankfully most do, but there are families who end up overwhelmed, are already barely functioning, are squished into a tiny 2 or 3 bed, have teenagers who already have poor MH, are already barely or not managing with meeting the needs of current children.

Op you need to really look at your situation. Are you honestly meeting the emotional, physical (including space) and financial needs of the children you already have? If so will you still be able to do this alone with an extra baby?
If so, ditch him and go it alone.
If not, ditch him and seek some support to improve your current children's lives before having another.

You have said it.
You 'really want to keep it '
He is being cruel to you and abusive.
I feel for you that you could be a loving mum with no post abortion physical or mental trauma following , that is never spoken of by the providers.
Please don't suffer by listening to this, (sorry to be blunt) man. Others have kindly warned you about him as well. Your children sound lovely.
Take care.

“I love being a mum, it’s my purpose”
Scary words.

Hi ,Sorry too hear this.An Ex Done the same and i kept the Baby and he left Me.I was Single then i met Someone and he took on My Kids and We went on too have 3 Children.I was pressurized by another Ex too have Abortion,and i Regretted it So Much.Stay Strong and You Do You !!

Which would you prefer, a relationship with him or the baby? And could you actually continue loving him and being with him knowing he 'forced' you into an abortion?

Only you know what you feel but it could come down to the relationship failing either way.

Unless there is any chance you will change your mind about wanting the baby. Can you afford another child? Could you raise it plus the others alone?

With all due respect, the OP is not going to find a man to take on her and 5 kids.

I'd book an appointment with GP and talk to them - about your ambivalence about pg/abortion about pressue your DP is putting on you see if there is counselling to help you make best choices for you.

But I don't see how this relationship can continue - he's abusive and that won't change - so as soon as he made damands rather than talk things though then the relationship was over.

Whaaaat?

I do worry the OP likes having babies rather than being a mum to the kids she’s already got

Having a baby risks physical and mental trauma, far more than having a legal and safe abortion. You're being very irresponsible to pretend otherwise to the OP. She'll be a single mum to 5 kids!

I couldn’t continue the relationship either way. He has shown you who he really is, believe him.

He sounds horrible. And it;s not up to him. Choice goes both ways: men have no right teithere to forbid women to have avborions or to demand that they do.

Sadly I think with a partner like tat, you'llessentially be a single mother whewther you stay with him or not.

I do wish you and your children all the best..

exactly this. Irresponsible.

Either way your relationship is over. He’s not approached this kindly and clearly feels so little he can just walk away anyway.
the baby is up to you and whether you can manage being a single mum to four or five.
so sorry he’s behave this way

But she wanted another child she says so. He is not forcing her she has a choice. How happy will this child’s life be if he/she is unwanted by one of it’s parents.

all I am saying we only have her side they may have discussed it previously & agreed no more.An example My friend wanted 4 children her partner wanted to stick to 2 then had the 3rd, the 4th child was a hidden pregnancy that no one knew about it until she was 38 weeks, no antenatal care no scans. We had fallen out by this point not sure what was going through her head. She wanted what she wanted.

Oh she will, it won't be the quality of man most women would shake a shitty stick at but they are out there!
I recommend watching Jeremy Kyle on YouTube for the kind of prospects she is looking at.

Why Not!!!,there are some decent Guys Out there too