Partner forcing abortion. Broken

[omgno45]

Hello
please be kind I’m on the edge.

I have 3 children from previous relationship. (16,15,8)

with my current partner we have a 1 year old. All the kids are happy etc. I love being a mum. It’s my purpose.
my older 3 adore our 1 year old.

we’ve had an “accident” and I’m pregnant. About 5 weeks.
my partner has hit the roof. He’s told me if I keep it he’s not walking the path with me and he’s leaving me for good and will only see our son. He’s told me he can’t have sex with me anymore. He’s says I’m selfish to keep it and it’s all about me and he’s said I’m not well and need intervention because keeping it means I’m not thinking straight.

im so sad. I really really want it. He keeps asking babe you ordered abortion tablets yet etc he’s really pressuring me. Honestly what do I do. Any advice please I love him but I hate how he’s approaching me

The post abortion suffering is long term and real and covered up tragically.

From her previous thread about this fucking prince - her bar is already in the gutter

He's now starting calling our baby a little cunt, ginger bastard (he's blonde) he hopes baby is a cunt for me and ruins my life and he doesn't care or the baby becomes a "spaz" and to not let baby know who his dad is and he wants to come off the birth certificate.
I never reply.
he's also admitted he's been with someone else.

Why Not???,there are some decent Men too!!!!

I'm so sorry OP. I've been there, it's hellish. Absolutely hideously bewildering when the person who's made you pregnant in the first place blames you foing being pregnant.

Don't abort for his sake, whatever else you do. And as PPs said, the relationship is unlikely to survive what he's doing right now. It may seem excessive to 'throw it all away' over this, but it's a very profound breach of trust and you'll struggle to trust him again.

The difference once shag can make. You don't realise it until you're in the situation. Biology's no joke... I wish you lots and lots of strength and remember, you have every right to feel whatever you're feeling, you are not at fault here, and you need to look after yourself - in order to be able to look after your children and for your own sake. Your partner can bloody well look after himself.

He's not forcing you. He's telling you if you want him to stay then you'll have to have an abortion, but he can't force you to do that.
Either way, why would you stay with a man like that?

He should have had a vasectomy if he is that adamant.

Oh great, I get deleted for asking why she went back and yet others haven't been.

Yes there are some Decent Men too!!

He's threatening to leave her and their children. Coercion is force.

Father of the year right here.

If he just said 'I don't want another child and it would be a deal-breaker relationship wise', that would be him telling her. What he's actually doing is manipulating her, threatening her, pressuring her and trying to make her doubt her sanity.

What a prince. I take he was there when you got pregnant. Is he convinced it’s an accident?
can you support 5 kids on your own ? Will one of you get sterilised now to stop this happening again ?

He's really shown you his true colours here, hasn't he. Leave him and keep the baby. No decent man would threaten you like this. That's not love and partnership, that's control and coercion i.e. abuse. And do not, under any circumstances, put him on the birth certificate.

@ZoeCM why risk having another baby with him? Why let him near any of her DC, 3 of whom aren’t his?

@omgno45 you started multiple threads about this vile man back in Nov, he's awful, abusive, violent, unfaithful and you said you'd left him.

Why are you back with him?
Was the sex that caused this baby consensual, or did he force you?

Either way, HE doesn't get to decide what you do, but I would think very hard about being tied to this man any more than you already are by you shared 1 year old.

You want your baby. Keep it and terminate your relationship with this man.

It's either the relationship or the baby by the sounds of it . Its your choice to make.
Get yourself some rock solid contraception in the future.
We can talk till the cows come home about how contraception is the responsibility of you both . But the reality is that you will be the one left juggling five children as a single parent, not him. Don't rely on anyone else for something that will impact your life so heavily.

He can be stressed... he can't be abusive and toxic which is what he actually is doing.

The real question is why OP is "broken" by a man who abuses her and her children threatening to leave.

Being able to lose the abusive man doesn't sound like much of a threat.

He’s not forcing you, he can’t force you, assuming you’re in the UK.

As you are the one who is pregnant you have a choice to end the relationship and continue the pregnancy.

Is it a contraception failure (pill, implant, coil) or not using contraception?

I can understand he wouldn’t want to have another DC as you have a baby together already plus you have your older DC, but you want to continue a pregnancy and you can, without him.

I'm struggling to understand how after 4 children anyone accidentally gets pregnant.

If you are having unprotected sex and are not using hormonal contraception and are of child-bearing age, it's almost certain you will get pregnant at some point.

I am so sad for you. Please realise this man is an abuser; he is by no means a partner. You are young enough to find someone who really wants to share life, and all that it brings.

I once had a man in my life who bullied me to have an abortion when I was in my late 40s, and we split up anyway. Looking back, he was abusive all the time but I failed to see it.

You can go ahead with this alone, and you will meet someone far more loving and sharing; two of your kids are teens, so you will cope. Don't sideline a strong wish to keep your baby.

Really need to ask? 🙄

It sounds like she deliberately got pregnant because it's her "purpose" in life.