Partner forcing abortion. Broken

[omgno45]

Hello
please be kind I’m on the edge.

I have 3 children from previous relationship. (16,15,8)

with my current partner we have a 1 year old. All the kids are happy etc. I love being a mum. It’s my purpose.
my older 3 adore our 1 year old.

we’ve had an “accident” and I’m pregnant. About 5 weeks.
my partner has hit the roof. He’s told me if I keep it he’s not walking the path with me and he’s leaving me for good and will only see our son. He’s told me he can’t have sex with me anymore. He’s says I’m selfish to keep it and it’s all about me and he’s said I’m not well and need intervention because keeping it means I’m not thinking straight.

im so sad. I really really want it. He keeps asking babe you ordered abortion tablets yet etc he’s really pressuring me. Honestly what do I do. Any advice please I love him but I hate how he’s approaching me

Whether you continue the pregnancy or not I cannot understand why you'd stay with this man.

Your body, your choice. Keep the baby and be a single mum to five.

Or end the pregnancy, resent your partner, leave him anyway because you've lost trust in him, and end up a single mum to four.

As for "selfish" - when has he booked his vasectomy, OP, if he's so concerned?

Kick him out OP, he’s being abusive. This happened with my DH several years ago now, he said he couldn’t cope and if I didn’t abort he would leave us or kill himself. Turned out he was having an affair and he left me for her a couple of months later. Your relationship will be ruined either way now so do what works for you and your children.

How did this “accident” happen?

What's with the inverted commas around "accident". Was it really an accident?

Personally, the last thing I'd do with this relationship is bring another child into it. Whatever you decide it's clear he needs to go, however.

So obviously you got pregnant on your own and he had nothing to do with it....
What a horrible man he is! Your body, your choice. Sounds like you'd be better off without him, whatever you decide....

Read your post back to yourself. Now imagine this was your best friend, sister or even a grown up daughter saying this. What would you think and advise them to do? Start listening to your inner voice inside and not somebody who is being cruel and pressurising you.

he sounds really stressed out. did you discuss having anymore children before this accident happened ?

He isn't forcing an abortion. He is vocalising that he doesn't want another child... which is fine (although he could obviously be nicer about it).

But you need to decide if you want to keep this baby or not. It is completely your choice.

I think either way your relationship is doomed. If you have the abortion, you will resent him. If you don't he will resent you or leave or both.

He is behaving appallingly though putting pressure on you and giving ultimatums. What was he doing to prevent a pregnancy if he is so against the idea?

After 4 children you had an “accident”

He’s not forcing you to have an abortion, he’s forcing you to make a choice. Only you can decide what you want to do about it. He’s not exactly going about it in a good way though.

Are you kidding? Did you not read the OP?

Either way, your relationship is over. Can you handle being a single mum of 5?

I think you need to accept your relationship is over, regardless of what happens next.
It is entirely your body and your choice.
You cannot continue any kind of romantic relationship with a man who is this controlling.
It takes two to make a baby, he chose to a) have unprotected sex, and b) ejaculate inside you. He needs to take ownership for these choices now.

Yes.. I did.
He's forcing her to choose between him.and a child. But he hasn't pinned her down shoving pills down her throat.

Do you work?

What kind of "accident" was it. Contraception is both of your responsibility so what went wrong?

I expect you were a single parent before you met this ' partner ' so you will be a single parent again.
and even if he does only see one of his children with you, he has to pay towards both.

So have the baby and wave good bye to him.

Then get your contraception watertight as 5 children as a single parent is a lot.

Fuck him off and keep the baby. What an arsehole

End the relationship. He’s awful.

Make a decision about the pregnancy based on being a single mum of 4 children already. Don’t factor him into the decision in either direction. He doesn’t get to make you do this. But equally, don’t factor an involved father into the equation.

Was it a real accident? Sounds like your were keen for more. Never really buy most of the excuses, my husband had the snip after our 2nd to ensure there were no accidents.

He can't force you to have an abortion, if you want to have the baby it's your choice, but guess he has the right to decide what part he plays in the child's life.

You didn't get yourself pregnant, did you? He is being horrible. He doesn't deserve another child with you. And doesn't deserve you either actually. I would ditch him and also have a termination as it wasn't planned and you'll be on your own with 5 kids, and no job presumably. You can't just keep having babies no matter how much you love being a mum, you've got 4 kids to mother already. That's plenty, count your blessings and move on from your horrid partner.

Leave him
Keep the baby
Your body, your choice
You will never forgive him

If he didn’t want another child so badly why didn’t he get a vasectomy?

I agree with others the relationship is over as it won’t survive whatever decision you now make.

Can you afford to raise the children on your own ?