My husband and I have been together for 8 years, married 2.5 and have 1.5yr DD. We got together when we were both deeply unhappy in our previous relationships and were so happy and in love. We were ‘that’ happy couple.
Things started to change a couple of months ago, my husband’s mood changed and he became miserable and not nice to be around. Affectionate and sex completely stopped. We talked about it and he said he was unhappy, with a constant feeling of sadness and just ‘felt nothing’. He said we were no longer affectionate - I then started to make more effort with affection and sex but I feel he was making no effort to improve things.
Looking back, the warning signs have been there as we’ve slipped into the 'friends zone' after having a child. I WFH full time and look after our DD all week (who doesn't go to daycare), so I have just been too preoccupied to notice us changing.
I suggested he may be depressed and he somewhat agreed, however, he said he doesn’t feel the way he does when I’m not there, which makes me think he’s not depressed. I’ve asked him numerous times if he’s met someone else, which he’s denied and I believe him.
He says he wants to get back to how we were and feels immense guilt that his feelings are what’s preventing us. The GP gave him the anti depressant Sertraline to take. It can take weeks to take affect. I’m just so worried that he’s not depressed and has just fallen out of love with me and no longer wants to be together.
He trained for over a year to complete Ironman competition and his feelings coincide to when he stopped training completely - maybe that has had an impact?
In hindsight, WFH full time and looking after a baby, coupled with his constant training regime, had taken a toll and I was often stressed and worn out. I was often quite difficult to be with, but I think i've definitely changed, for the better.
I refuse to give up on us - we have a child and a new house together, we used to be so happy.
Has anyone saved their relationship from similar problems? Is there hope?!