Urgent advice

[ZippyBlueViper]

Hi urgent advice needed,
My relationship hasn't been great for a while, oh come home around 5pm really drunk. Hasn't hit me but has been verbally aggressive. I was scared and kids were scared.
I've loaded them into car and gone. Didn't pack anything just gone.
We're staying too far away for the kids to attend school tomorrow and no uniform etc. Wtf do i do

Don’t worry about school. Just get yourselves safe and settled and reconsider everything in the morning.

He needs to be vacated from your property and you need to then return with the kids. Ask him to leave. If he doesn't, ask the police to remove him from the property.
Sorry that you and your kids are going through this

I agree with PP, call the police and have him removed. Is it your house?

The main thing, is that you and DC are safe. Sorry this has happened to you.

Well done, OP for getting out & prioritising the safety and well being of your DCs. I would call the school and explain if you think you can.

No it's his house, everything in his name. Even my car is in his name. He's text me saying he's called the police and reported my car stolen and cancelled my insurance. I don't think he has.
He's text saying if i don't return his son by midnight then heaven help me

Im scared I'll get in trouble for not having the kids at school and that that'll go against me if we end up in court that like I've just taken the kids

I've got no money for a swanky solicitor or anything and he's got loads of money he's always told me if i ever leave he'll take his son off me with the best solicitor available

Don’t worry about school. Go somewhere safe for tonight.

I'm massively panicking my kids are everything and I'm so scared

Are you safe, don't worry about school, you can ring them tomorrow. Are you married, do you own the house. Is he due at work tomorrow. I'd ask the police if they can help you if you want to go back to collect any belongings.

We're safe tonight. Im just scared of what he'll do now that I've left and taken the kids

Ok love, go to the police in the morning and show them the threatening messages. Call the school and explain your situation. So sorry you're going through this. He's creating a record of his aggression and threats, you've done everything right.

Tell the police so they are aware of what's happening. Open a file on him while it's all fresh in your mind. Don't worry about school. Safety is number one.

That is all bluff and lies and bravado on his part.

i agree on phoning the police, say that you have left the family home for your safety and your children’s safety and the individual in question is now threatening you and show the texts.

it is best to have this on record even if the polic cannot actually do much at this point but you are in fear and fearful and have had to remove your children from the family home as a result of an aggressive, intoxicated adult: that needs to be recorded.

do you have parents or siblings that you can go to or stay with tonight they will offer our children some safety or sense of normality and help you too maybe?

im sorry that you are going through this. You will be ok ❤️

@ZippyBlueViper do you have somewhere safe to stay tonight. That has to be your first priority. School can wait til another day.

Secondly once you've got somewhere safe to stay tonight, do you have someone you and the kids could stay with short term?

Thirdly can someone go with you tomorrow to
collect some bits.

Call police yourself now and tell them he is being abusive while drunk and you have left for your safety. He is incapable of looking after a child. Is he likely to drive in search of you?

Call women’s aid now on the number below

Contact the 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline
If you are in an emergency situation, please call 999

• Call us 24/7
• tel:08082000247
• Call for free and in confidence, 24-hours a day: tel:0808 2000 247

We're not married everything in his name.
He's self employed but should be working tomorrow. I left in a panic and didn't take house keys only grabbed car keys. I literally don't even have any socks on. I just said to kids get in car were going and going now. My plan was to just drive round till he calmed down but he didn't calm down. So i thought shit can't go home so we've come to a hotel.

I would report on 101 that he was verbally threatening and that you left with the children, as you and they were scared. You could call the school in the morning and explain.

Seen your updates, if he's drunk there's no way he is safe with your son. I'd call the police and tell them he's abusive, drunk and is threatening you.

Well done for prioritising you and your kids. Remain where you are tonight.

I work in a school - you won't be in trouble, please tell them what has happened - they will be supportive.

If you need help getting belongings safely, contact the police.

I would contact the police tonight and explain what has happened and the threats he has made.

Please call women’s aid first and take advice from them about phoning police - they will know what’s best to do

Speak to the police on 101 when you can. I’m getting coercive controlling vibes here. Do you have access to your own money?

Well done for getting away. I’m a teacher and I’ve had parents in this situation before. Call school in the morning and ask to speak to the safeguarding officer. Explain to them. Don’t worry about it at all.

As for the next best step for you right now I don’t honestly know, but there are many many wise and strong women on here who can help.

Okay will speak to school, scared they'll get social services involved though and scared they'll take the kids and let him have them.