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Original poster

Lied about his age - sackable offence?

824 replies

Crumpet444 · 11/12/2025 07:54

Been seeing a guy for nearly 2 months. Met online, his age was 48 on his profile. I am 36, I generally have no issue with guys being a bit older, in fact have always dated men older than me.

First date was actually on his birthday which I didn’t realise until the day itself, he said he was 48 ON his birthday but the app changed to 49. I asked him about it and he said no, he was 48, so I assumed it was an error on the app. One year, no biggie.

However, I did a google search the other day out of curiosity, given I am getting a bit more invested and wanted to just check everything checks out, everything going well and I really like him - Seems mutual and we both want something serious. He is listed as a director for something on companies house, birth year 1971 which makes him 54!! Definitely him as the company tallies up with what he told me, his name isn’t common and month was correct.

AIBU to be a bit pissed off about this?! I get shaving a few years off for the app, but fess up straight away surely, especially when I asked him directly about it and he lied. I get it may be an insecurity thing but it’s not so much the age that’s an issue but the lying. It also means there is far more of a substantial age gap between us than I realised. FWIW he looks very good for his age!

I guess I’ll have to be the on to bring it up won’t I? And confess I was googling 😂 or is it likely companies house is wrong?!

OP posts:
Zebraelephant · 11/12/2025 07:56

If I were you I’d throw this one back, it’s not the age it’s the lying

Lennonjingles · 11/12/2025 08:04

So you know he’s already lied directly when you first mentioned it and now you’ve found out he’s 6 years older than he is saying, it’s not a great start to a relationship.

Brightbluesomething · 11/12/2025 08:04

I’ve had this happen before but they’ve told me when we’ve met. Apparently some men over 50 reduce their age on the app so they come up in the search results of younger women.
Might be worthwhile asking yourself why he wants much younger women, easier to influence or control is the usual response. Women his age who could also look amazing are less likely to put up with any shit.

My personal choice is not to continue seeing someone who lies so easily.

And yes I’ve done a Google search or prospective dates before. Finding myself on a date with someone who did time for attempted murder somewhat changes my attitude to my own safety so I do a bit of research now. I’ve never found companies house to be wrong.

ACynicalDad · 11/12/2025 08:06

They’d need to be amazing to bother with, it’s a small lie, but there will be more. I’d tell him and leave it.

SouthLondonMum22 · 11/12/2025 08:06

I'd have no interest in staying in a relationship with someone who started out lying to you. Over something so stupid as well.

Throw him back.

StepAwayFromMyCrutches · 11/12/2025 08:07

I don't think this is unusual in online dating. Calling himself under 50 would have opened up more people as potentially interested. And then it gets awkward having to admit the truth once you start seeing someone.

If you think the relationship has some potential, and him being 18 years older instead of 13 years isn't a deal breaker for you, ask him if there is anything he would like to clear up about his profile. Give him the opportunity to come clean. If he can't admit to it now, goodbye.

If 18 years is too much for you, tell him it isn't working out for you, goodbye.

Original poster
Crumpet444 · 11/12/2025 08:09

Brightbluesomething · 11/12/2025 08:04

I’ve had this happen before but they’ve told me when we’ve met. Apparently some men over 50 reduce their age on the app so they come up in the search results of younger women.
Might be worthwhile asking yourself why he wants much younger women, easier to influence or control is the usual response. Women his age who could also look amazing are less likely to put up with any shit.

My personal choice is not to continue seeing someone who lies so easily.

And yes I’ve done a Google search or prospective dates before. Finding myself on a date with someone who did time for attempted murder somewhat changes my attitude to my own safety so I do a bit of research now. I’ve never found companies house to be wrong.

Yeah I’ve had men reduce to bring it down to under 50, I’m not so bothered if it’s admitted to on a first date. But not only did that not happen I asked him directly about his age and he lied 😞

in every other way he’s been pretty much perfect so far so just really disappointed. And annoyed I have to be the one to raise it, I suppose his reaction will be telling but equally I am now on alert for other lies, and I just don’t want to feel that way.

I know he is really keen to impress me but I don’t want that to come at the expense of authenticity and honesty.

OP posts:
Daisywhatsyouranswer · 11/12/2025 08:10

He lied about his age to get younger women, if that doesn’t give you the ick I’m not sure what would.

TomatoSandwiches · 11/12/2025 08:10

Men that do this have no respect for women. They don't believe a woman should be able to make her own choices about the selection process, that she doesn't deserve to make informed choices for herself over his entitlement to trick a woman into a relationship for his own desires.

I would get rid.

CandyCaneKisses · 11/12/2025 08:12

I couldn’t imagine dating someone so old in my mid 30s. What else is he lying about?

Lavender14 · 11/12/2025 08:14

I think not only is it a lie, but it's a lie with no legs. Eventually you'd find out and he knows that, so that makes me think that not only is he a liar, but he's not invested at all and isn't looking at anything long term. I'd be checking for a wife tbh.

Original poster
Crumpet444 · 11/12/2025 08:16

Lavender14 · 11/12/2025 08:14

I think not only is it a lie, but it's a lie with no legs. Eventually you'd find out and he knows that, so that makes me think that not only is he a liar, but he's not invested at all and isn't looking at anything long term. I'd be checking for a wife tbh.

He definitely isn’t married, I’ve been to his house.

I would always have found out but I also get panicking and lying in the moment and then it becoming difficult to raise later down the line.

I just don’t know why they do it. I had been so excited and now it just feels like a bubble has burst.

OP posts:
smallsilvercloud · 11/12/2025 08:17

It would be a deal breaker, he’s lied for two months, men that lie aren’t seeing you as a serious option so don’t feel bad to bin him.
One lie that you know of, I bet there is more.

Lurkingandlearning · 11/12/2025 08:19

in every other way he’s been pretty much perfect

But how much of that is true? Even the way he acts might be an act.

I know you can say that about anyone but he’s already shown you he’s deceitful

Original poster
Crumpet444 · 11/12/2025 08:20

Lurkingandlearning · 11/12/2025 08:19

in every other way he’s been pretty much perfect

But how much of that is true? Even the way he acts might be an act.

I know you can say that about anyone but he’s already shown you he’s deceitful

Yeah I agree, quite possibly and that’s why I feel pretty deflated.

OP posts:
Owly11 · 11/12/2025 08:21

Nope this is not a serious relationship for him if he is lying about his age. Drop him and move on.

ChikinLikin · 11/12/2025 08:24

Yuck.

HornyHornersPinkyWinky · 11/12/2025 08:24

He’s really keen to impress you OP because you’re a much younger woman, who he sees as more valuable than women his own age.

He also feels entitled to lie to you in order to get what he wants.

There’s a whole load of arrogance and sexism inherent in this. I would personally throw this one back.

silkysoft · 11/12/2025 08:26

Nope. You started your relationship with a huge lie from him. What else is he lying about to get his own way? because thats what it is isnt it- I am going to lie to get what I want and I dont care about what anyone thinks of it.

A man who has that attitude is not going to treat you with respect in the future. He is showing you who he is and it aint pleasant.

HornyHornersPinkyWinky · 11/12/2025 08:27

There’s something very offputting about a middle aged man who seemingly can’t handle the idea of dating a woman his own age, and that he somehow deserves younger.

Daisywhatsyouranswer · 11/12/2025 08:27

HornyHornersPinkyWinky · 11/12/2025 08:24

He’s really keen to impress you OP because you’re a much younger woman, who he sees as more valuable than women his own age.

He also feels entitled to lie to you in order to get what he wants.

There’s a whole load of arrogance and sexism inherent in this. I would personally throw this one back.

No it’s not her, he set his age up younger before he even met her, it’s in the very first line of the op. So he lied about his age just to get a younger woman.

which is creepy and sleazy as fuck,

Lurkingandlearning · 11/12/2025 08:27

Crumpet444 · 11/12/2025 08:20

Yeah I agree, quite possibly and that’s why I feel pretty deflated.

Show quote history

I know that feeling. It’s rotten and I think what makes it worse is there’s not much that can be done to avoid finding yourself in this position. Do you do some fact checking before any feelings develop? Why bother? Then once you are invested enough to check it’s already too late, really. Whatever you decide to do I hope it goes well for you

McSock · 11/12/2025 08:27

What a weird lie, when his age is in the public domain.

Is he beyond stupid, or does he think you are?

BeNoisyFish · 11/12/2025 08:29

Ick, I don't have time for men who lie about their age and height on OLD. It's either manipulation or insecurity both a turn off.

perfectcolourfound · 11/12/2025 08:29

Yes, I'd walk away. Lying is an absolute dealbreaker. Without trust, you can't have a relationship, and he's shown he's willing to lie from day 1.

Some might say it's a small' lie, but I don't agree with that train of thougth. A lie is a lie. Someone who can lie over something small can lie over something big. They are dishonest. Do you'll never know what you can trust. And in any case, it isn't 'small' - you have a preference for the age you'd like to date, and he's tried to remove your agency by lying.

Whether he does it because he's insecure (although that arguement doesn't make any sense), because he's a habitual liar, because he enjoys misleading people... there's no good reason to lie, and dishonest people don't make for good relationships.