Ghosted after a great first date. Best response?

[WildflowerGardens]

I had a first date with a man off hinge on Saturday afternoon - we had coffee and then walked round an illustration fair. The whole time we were laughing and talking animatedly and seemed to have a lot in common. At the end of the date he pulled me into a bear hug and said “see you again soon”.

I texted him that evening to say “Great to meet you, what a fun afternoon!” but he didn’t reply and it’s now Tuesday. I think I’ve been ghosted.

I feel like sending a final message, something like “Ghosting in your forties? I only date grown men: good luck with your ongoing search 👋 ” before blocking him but I’m not sure if I should do this.

My reasoning is that I think ghosting is crap behaviour and people who ghost should be called out on it.

Any advice very welcome.

Honestly, I would leave it.

Nah leave it

Leave it. Delete his number or block him. It’s not worth your time.

The best response is silence

You're going to give him the gift of knowing you wanted to see him again. Don't do that!

I wouldn't send anything else. He may have a genuine reason why he has not texted you back yet - or he could just be an arse.

Well he obviously didn't think it was that great! I wouldn't message him, he's not going to suddenly stop being a ghoster just because you tell him off.

I would leave it, mirror the effort he is making. If it's a power thing on his behalf - you've taken the power from him.

I now don’t want to hear from him again hence mentioning blocking him - also if you don’t have a good time on a date why grab the other party into a bear hug and say “see you again soon” in their ear? An odd man

Don’t send anything. It’s wrong he’s ghosted you obviously but any message now will make you look petty. It’s not right but that’s the way it seems to be nowadays

Accept he wasn’t feeling it and move on

The best answer is no answer.

One date! Just forget him

I wouldn't contact him again or block him ( yet). I wouldn't give him the pleasure of knowing he's got to you. It may be he's a casual dater and doesn't want anything serious but ignoring you after you've sent him that message is just rude. It's possible he's holding out for a better offer and keeping you on standby, so don't be available to him if he does get in touch.

Because people just say things in the moment. They may well mean them at the time of saying it, but they have no follow through.

I think there are a lot of people who are serial first/early daters now and don't know what they actually want.

The best response is no response. Sending any kind of message is not going to make him rethink his ways, it will probably just give him a good laugh instead.

My reasoning is that I think ghosting is crap behaviour and people who ghost should be called out on it.

Called out for it? Why? He knows he's ignoring you?

Well, I’m going to differ here from other posts. But it’s only Tuesday morning. Perhaps he’s been busy or thought he’d replied or got sidetracked. I’d give him until the end of today before judgment. But no, don’t message him further if there’s no response by this evening.

The chances are he’ll get back to you, they usually do. He is probably just dating multiple women. I’d never tell someone off for ghosting me because it would most likely boost their ego. Instead I would just wait for him to get back to you and say ‘You’re not my type physically’ or ‘there wasn’t enough chemistry’ to dent his ego.

This may be an unpopular opinion but I don't think it's that bad to ghost someone after one date. You go on the date to see if you like someone and want to keep seeing them, but if you don't have much invested in them then I don't think it's that bad to simply not respond anymore. It gives a clear enough message.

Don't message.

I wouldn't block either though. If he's ghosting you, there's no need! If he isn't and has just had something come up then you might want to hear what he has to say.

Nothing is the best response.

I think it’s rude.

I disagree - I’m a busy author and took time out from finishing edits in order to travel to meet this man, but frankly any woman (or man) who makes time and effort to meet someone should at least get a text saying “I wasn’t feeling it” etc

Quite. It would take him 30 seconds to send a message saying thanks but he didn't think there was enough there to move forward with. Just so rude to say nothing. But presumably you now wouldn't want to be with someone that rude anyway.

Exactly this.