Ghosted after a great first date. Best response?

[WildflowerGardens]

I had a first date with a man off hinge on Saturday afternoon - we had coffee and then walked round an illustration fair. The whole time we were laughing and talking animatedly and seemed to have a lot in common. At the end of the date he pulled me into a bear hug and said “see you again soon”.

I texted him that evening to say “Great to meet you, what a fun afternoon!” but he didn’t reply and it’s now Tuesday. I think I’ve been ghosted.

I feel like sending a final message, something like “Ghosting in your forties? I only date grown men: good luck with your ongoing search 👋 ” before blocking him but I’m not sure if I should do this.

My reasoning is that I think ghosting is crap behaviour and people who ghost should be called out on it.

Any advice very welcome.

I am down a pointless rabbithole in this saga I don’t have time for, too. It’s such incongruously compelling reading,
I actually believe the OP is an author and it’s reminiscent of the podcast My Dad Wrote a Porno…
Can’t wait for thread 2🍿 The Second Date😜

Who thinks his Mum or sister is on this thread?

I've enjoyed this thread, from ProseBeforeBros enticing their partner with a limerick and a tap dance, to the op interpreting 'Are you an alcoholic?' as inviting her for a date.

OP (or anyone actually), I have ADHD and a neurological condition and I couldn't manage to get through all of the posts. Can anyone confirm whether she messaged him or what happened? TIA

Not true. We had mobile
ohones and lots of internet dating sites 20 yrs ago (My single friend,, match, plenty of fish etc). I got ghosted loads by men even after a good few dates / one even a couple of months of seeing him!!! and to be honest probably did the same to men I wasn’t feeling it with too. It is not new behaviour

The good news is he likes you, unfortunately probably not as much as you like him. Good luck, OP.

She messaged him with a short poem which he seemingly took at face value as being a playful way of reaching out and scolding him for not getting in touch sooner - even tho it had been LESS than 3 full days!!

The way OP raced to boiling point and weird jealousy, convicted every poster defending him was after him, was… unsettling. After writing in the title it was a fun date she proceeded to belittle his physical appearance, his career, say he was stalking her when she ended the date early, but then was almost hysterical with joy when he quickly responded to the poem, inviting her on another (2nd) date - which she describes as being above and beyond a normal one and couldn’t be more deliriously happy.

It’s been a rollercoaster for sure and we’re all agog to see what happens next.

You met him for the first time on Saturday and all your posts were on Tuesday., not long since you met.

Are you so desperate, Wildflower? You seem unhinged. It was only a date with someone you did not know, you had previously connected online, and he's eiher mulling it over - or recovering.

You've lost nothing. Move on and, next time, don't expect things to happen instantly, they are better if people take their time. Preferably don't do online dating, that in itself smacks of desperation!

Thank you! Read the first post, thought but it's only Tuesday, and skipped to the end to see what transpired. You've saved me a load of time!

Sorry if I’m being daft, but is there a way to see the op’s posts or do you have to scroll through every page?

Go to her first post and click on See All.

Some of us are much older when mobiles and dating apps didn't exist.

The bits that puzzle me here are the inconsistencies in how OP describes herself. I don't know if she's pulling our legs and what the truth is.

For example, she says she's mid 30s , incredibly pretty (even beautiful) and has no issue at all attracting men.

But she also says she has bad teeth, bad hair, is overweight and has terribly wrinkled skin. And this man called her 'saggy'.

Take your pick where the truth is!

It's hilarious. Baldy obviously sheds in autumn.

In the interests of not completely killing a joke by dissecting it, if I read OP correctly, and I do believe I did, you were not supposed to take everything she said entirely seriously. Or rather, she was aiming it at people who would, and the result was funny.

Perhaps.

People can say 'I'm beautiful' as a sarcy and 'witty' response. Sure.

But when they keep banging on about how successful they are, beautiful, sought after by men, blah blah .................and appear to really mean it, it's hard to know what the truth is..

If it was a joke she over-played it.

I disagree, there were far more posts telling her what a lying loser she is and all her supposed moral failings and it seems pretty clear to me that at some point she just thought "ah fuck it" and decided that since they wanted to hate her, she'd throw some bones. Made me laugh.

This!! 😆

What I read was that within the first couple of posts she said she was an author and didn't have time to waste on men who 'ghosted' her.

This got people's backs up because there are far more 'important' jobs than writing a novel.

She actually said she was beautiful and successful long before anyone started criticising her.

I've read her other threads in the past, and replied to some, and they always end this way with OP being rude and insulting posters.

Her initial posturings far predated the people calling her out!

Well I'm not going to get into an argument over it. I found it funny and while she was rude about his looks initially, that was anonymous and I think the posts digging up her history and making really sincere efforts to try to tear her down personally and upset her were far more mean spirited and potentially harmful (although luckily she appears not to give much of a toss and to have fed them for entertainment, and now she appears to be done). Most people just seem to be angry that she's an author, tbh.

It was just a bit mad. Her original post was all about what a wonderful date it was, hence her surprise he hadn’t replied to her subsequent text when he’d seemed so into her, and then suddenly he morphed into a hideous, boring, bad-toothed baldy who recited chunks of his doctoral thesis and followed her to the supermarket, so it was mildly mysterious why she was so miffed that an unattractive dullard hadn’t texted her back, and why she’d said she’d found the date enjoyable when it clearly hadn’t been.

And then the moment he texted her and invited her ‘somewhere special’ for a second date, suddenly his hair grows back, his teeth improve and he’s a witty and urbane chap again, rather than someone who pursued the OP around around the frozen food aisle reciting bits of his doctorate.

And I can tell you one thing. She’s not ‘an author’. She claims to be doing fine off her royalties, when the overwhelming majority of writers can’t live off their book sales. It would be vanishingly unlikely to her to be one of the very few who can, especially as she claims to have ‘editors’ who clear up her continuity errors.