Until what age should children’s preference for living arrangements come first?

[whiteumbrella]

I often ponder this. DP & I have been in a relationship for 5yrs and both had 9yr olds when we met. We would love to move in together now, but both DC don’t want that and we want to keep things stable for exam years so will continue living apart. (They get on with respective partners, but like their own safe space) What is the magic age when we decide to move in together against our DC’s wishes? One DC is likely to live at home during uni and the other DC is in London so may be later to move out.

They are currently only 9, they may change their minds next week. They also don’t have all the information available to know if living with someone else is for them or not. I have you all been on holiday together before? I would start there and see how it goes.

There not 9 they have been together dimce they were 9 and for 5 years

Men shouldn’t be moving in without regards to children’s feelings either. They may do it with surprising frequency, but that is because they are bad parents who don’t prioritize their children, not because of sexist double-standards.

families can blend. I’ve seen it happen successfully in my own family. It was organic and slow though. You can’t just decide that everyone else is family just because two people are a couple.

18 is reasonable. You can't put you life on hold forever but you're a good mum for waiting.

FOREVER. When you become a mum
your own wants and needs go on the back burner forever, it’s all about what the kids would prefer - even if said kids are 37 years old for example. It’s just what you sign up for when you have kids
🤷‍♀️

When DC have decided of their own free will to leave

@IAmNotSureAboutYouNow So if Junior decides to live at home until they’re 35, their parent can’t move in with a new partner?