Potential marriage with a very wealthy man… but I’m physically repulsed. WWYD?

[ForeverHopeful3]

33F, about to be 34. Single as a pringle.

But, my family friend just proposed a guy (38) from an extremely wealthy family (millions, big business). She said the family is good and he's their only kid.

THE PROBLEM: I’ve seen a couple of pics + a company video of him and my honest initial reaction was “ew, no”. I’d rate him 2/10 by my usual standards. Maybe a 3. Overall, I feel zero physical spark... I've tried to find one picture of him where I think he looks even just a little handsome and I can't. Even his voice was a turn-off for me in the video. I couldn't make it to 30 seconds😭

Part of me thinks I should at least have one coffee in case attraction grows or I’m being too shallow. The other part feels it would be dishonest – like I’d only be forcing it for the money/lifestyle. I also don't want to waste his time or give the family any sort of false hope :(

Would you meet once anyway, or is zero initial attraction an automatic no, even when the man is literally a millionaire?

I have tried to go on dates with men I didn't find initially attractive in photos but attraction has never grown on me in the past. Usually after 2 dates, I call it quits :(

It’s he’s 38, rich and single, he has probably developed the brains to see through people who are only interested in his money. Quite a big jump from a hypothetical coffee to marriage so good luck whatever you decide

Luckily for you, this isn’t 1813 and you don’t live in Pride and Prejudice, so you don’t have to marry for wealth …or at all if you don’t want to.

You’ve been so horrible about him, I’d leave the poor guy well alone.

Nope.

you are wasting his time and yours.

Unless I wanted to marry purely for money which would be deeply unethical, shallow and lacking in any form of integrity, then no, I would not go out with him if I don't fancy him.

What is this? Have I woken up in the 18th century?

Leave the poor man alone, if you're so disgusted by him.

What makes you think he would want to marry you?

Whereabouts do you live? Are you in UK?

Christ 😐

Why are you talking about marriage? You’ve never met him?

I wouldn’t judge someone on a photo but then I wouldn’t be considering marrying a stranger due to their bank balance.

Meet him in person.

I’m being too shallow.

Well rating a person's looks in numbers out of 10 is the epitome of being shallow.

if he’s a multi millionaire, why would he be interested in you? Are you exceptionally attractive. He might think he’s entitled to a 22 year old model type.

I call bullshit on this one.

I first read that he’d proposed, but actually a friend has ‘proposed him’ as an option? Why are you even considering marriage?! He’s not asked you!

Remove his wealth from the equation. If it was a less wealthy man your friend suggested and you didn't find him attractive, would you go on a date? Probably not. He'll be well used to weeding out gold diggers so don't waste your time or his.

Not voting because both options are the same.

You are shallow if you meet him because he's rich

You are shallow if you don't meet him because he's only a 2/10

Leave the poor guy alone

I assume its an arranged marriage. Meet him, if hes nice, go for it.

Are you from a culture where arranged marriages is common? Because it sounds bonkers to anyone who isn't tbh. You are repulsed by him before having even met him! But you are considering marriage for money which equals prostitution. If you want to marry someone with money atleast choose someone who you are attracted to! And who is kind and has a personality you like.

Maybe he's REALLY unphotogenic!! Just do a coffee and see how it goes IRL.

i assume you’re not from Europe/the US? These types of arrangements are common in India/the Middle East but not really here. If he’s so wealthy and smart he’ll see through you sorry

give the family any sort of false hope :(

you certainly have a high opinion of yourself, if this guy is “lucky” enough deem him worthy of your time may not even like you enough for a second date let alone marriage.

As he is very wealthy, he has probably had no problems getting girlfriends as some people are very shallow. I would say meet him in person, at 33 he might wonder why you have not had any propositions before.

I’m curious, why do you already see this as a potential marriage rather than just a proposed date with stranger? Is it because of family pressure, his wealth, or are you in a catalogue and he has requested you?

If you had even a tiny spark or curiosity meeting him makes sense. But zero attraction with past experience showing it won’t change, then clearly there's no point.

I was similar at your age im now 41 with the house husband and 2 amazing kids...

If you want to meet someone and get married..... meet him.

If you dont care.... Dont bother.

Separately

1. You seem to have made your mind up already and it might have been better to go in "cold";as a blind date tbh. (Although you seem to have a lot of cognitive bias so maybe not...)
2. all Most good looking men i know in their mid 30s are absolute dickheads or okay but "a little bit of a dick"... neither of these were on my list of "must haves" for a husband. Neither was height... Kindness, honesty, humour and financial solvency were...I'm not saying date him because he is rich... I'm saying double check you arent blocking yourself with crap criteria.
3. If you have ANY interest in children (and only want them within a marriage vs sperm donor / some guy you vaguely coparent with) your window of opportunity is closing rapidly. It's harsh but the reality.

Maybe incorrectly, i read this and assumed you were british asian hence with unorthodox language in the OP.

Not entirely true, he's from a wealthy family so he's probably grown up with a silver spoon being an only child from a rich family.

OP meet him coffee and see what you think

What if he sees through your shallowness and thinks I don’t want someone so unaware and unintelligent?

How is this different from prostitution?