Potential marriage with a very wealthy man… but I’m physically repulsed. WWYD?

[ForeverHopeful3]

33F, about to be 34. Single as a pringle.

But, my family friend just proposed a guy (38) from an extremely wealthy family (millions, big business). She said the family is good and he's their only kid.

THE PROBLEM: I’ve seen a couple of pics + a company video of him and my honest initial reaction was “ew, no”. I’d rate him 2/10 by my usual standards. Maybe a 3. Overall, I feel zero physical spark... I've tried to find one picture of him where I think he looks even just a little handsome and I can't. Even his voice was a turn-off for me in the video. I couldn't make it to 30 seconds😭

Part of me thinks I should at least have one coffee in case attraction grows or I’m being too shallow. The other part feels it would be dishonest – like I’d only be forcing it for the money/lifestyle. I also don't want to waste his time or give the family any sort of false hope :(

Would you meet once anyway, or is zero initial attraction an automatic no, even when the man is literally a millionaire?

I have tried to go on dates with men I didn't find initially attractive in photos but attraction has never grown on me in the past. Usually after 2 dates, I call it quits :(

Loving the leap from ‘he’s never met me’ to ‘potential marriage’. Add in ‘millionaire’ and ‘initially physically repulsed’ and you have the making of a comically dreadful cheap supermarket romance book.

I think you're probably not from a western culture where none of what you wrote really makes sense or reflects how things are done when it comes to relationships. That aside, no you should not meet him of you don't find him attractive, although it is actually difficult to judge attraction to someone before you meet them in person.

It’s simply disgusting really that you’d consider it simply because he’s wealthy. Gold digger much ? Hopefully if you do meet he’ll see straight through you and take a wide curve around

Why is it? Everyone has a preference and that preference has a scale, there is nothing wrong with expressing that. It’s a personal opinion.

Dating someone who has money when you rate them low on your preference scale is shallow, but having a preference is just human nature.

Do you want kids?

I'd meet him once. From what you say, you obviously aren't going to be able to hold your nose for your entire life just for the money if you can't stand him, so I don't think there's any risk of you marrying him for convenience. Go and have a drink, if it's a damp squib then nothing lost.

An actual gold digger wouldn't consider not going.

Why are you letting your family pick a potential husband. You've got to the age of 34. Make your own life and choose your own person.

Leave him well alone, you seem to be acting like a selfish child.

No chance would a 38-year-old multi-millions businessman/trust fund baby be interested in a 34 yo gold-digger who finds him physically repulsive.

He'll be able to do a lot, lot better.

Or let him see what he thinks...

Why are you seeing this as a potential marriage when all you've seen are photographs/a video?

The ego on you, OP! Maybe he’d consider you a 3 and wouldn’t be remotely interested in you. I hope so anyway.

Talk about jumping the gun🙄

Um what? Is this an arrange marriage situation? Probably is, otherwise it doesn't make any sense. Or just good old prostitution?

Why do you overvalue yourself so much? If he's that rich, with multimillions and businesses, he'll have his pick from young and gorgeous golddiggers. Much younger and better looking than you. You're 33 already. His looks are irrelevant in this sort of scenario. It's whether HE finds you fuckable enough, not you him.

I mean, it's a bit rich, oooh, here's this multimillionaire, but he's so ugly, should I give him a chance? The question you should be asking is whether he'd give you a chance.

As you seem to see it as a meal ticket and a transaction.

Or alternatively, maybe he's a nice and normal person and wants to meet a real true partner to share his life with, not a scrounger like you and your family, interested in his money only.

No, sadly I wouldn't meet him, OP.

Look, I'm 46, my husband is 75. Very wealthy, married for 20 years. NEVER physically repulsive, does what he can, healthy, respectful.
In case of that man, I think you would regret it
a lot.
I know in nowadays world security and comfort mean a lot. Can only speak for myself. In 2005, when I met my husband, life was altogether different.
Good luck.

If he wants kids I wouldn't have thought he'd consider you.

What a way to live your life. Can’t you just find someone normally?

If you wouldn't consider meeting him if he wasn't wealthy, then you would only be doing it for the money? Are you a sex worker?

I suspect you will be considered too old for him OP, given he is the one with the wealth.

Cool story, bro.

Why would you want to try date someone who physically repulses you? Grow up.

Just because they have money...

Leave him alone. Also unsure why you are so certain he'd want to marry or even date you!

A man who has money is going to be a little selective.

Are you sure OP, that you are in with a chance? With that attitude you certainly won’t charm your future MIL.

I don’t believe in photo selection so I’d meet up

If you're not attracted to him, you're not attracted to him. You can't force physical attraction, it's either there or isn't. Hypothetically you go on a date or two, and he's keen - what are you going to do if he wants to kiss you?! Assuming you handle a kiss, and continue dating, what happens when he wants to take the relationship further and brings sex into it??!! If you don't find him attractive, it's going to be hard to have sex, you'll be laying there 'thinking of England' hoping and praying it's over quick! What kind of way is that to live, just because he has money?! I'm assuming he's gullible enough not to realise you're not that interested. Men, who have wealth, generally can spot a woman who's only interested in his money. Of course, sometimes a wealthy older man is happy to have a much younger woman on his arm, and knows she's only there for the money - it's a mutual beneficial relationship. You being 33 and him 38, it doesn't really fit this scenario. Leave well alone, because you clearly aren't really interested, you're wasting his time and yours.