Boyfriend has split up with me because

[Thatisthatthen]

I am going on an all girls family holiday this weekend for a long weekend abroad. It’s been planned for months and we have been together for a year.

he has always had trust issues and he has always been insecure. He said this weekend is going to be the end of him and he has been very physically unwell this week in what he thinks is anxiety and stress induced.

He called me this afternoon and said, I’d rather be single with my head held high and walk away letting you carry on with what you are inevitably going to be doing this weekend, or I could stay with you never knowing the truth knowing you have lied to me.

i have never been unfaithful to him. He has made mountains out of molehills before over nothing and seems to use these as reasons not to trust but I just need a hand hold. Have been totally blind sided - I even booked us a weekend trip away in the coming weeks last night.

This is him controlling you. Does he get like this if you go out with friends too? Have you ever changed plans because he is unhappy? He doesn’t trust you and that is a him problem, enjoy your time away, forget about him.

I am not really sure why you didn't dump this absolutely godawful whiny controlling loser first, but he has done you a massive favour. Block his number, have a lovely weekend and take that trip with someone sane.

Great. The trash took itself out.
this will never get better. He will use it to control you forever

He is not in a suitable place, emotionally, to be in a relationship. He needs to do some work for n himself before he dates again. I’m sure it hurts (Because what he’s said is nasty) but he’s done the best thing for him and you.

Let him go. What a drain.

Yuk, how controlling! That’s awful. I hope you still manage to enjoy your holiday. And for what it’s worth I think your future will be brighter without this nonsense in your life. He’d only get worse over time.

Great! Have a wonderful holiday

Wow, you’re getting a lucky escape

Enjoy your weekend !

I expect he's hoping this is the tactic that will make you cancel your holiday.

He sounds awful and pathetic and controlling. You’re better off without him if he thinks so low of you the second you get a chance you’ll cheat.

My partner goes on holiday with his friends and I wouldn’t dream of telling him not to!

Great!! Off he fucks then!!

He’s done you a favour by ending the relationship. The trash I.e him has taken itself out.

You need better boundaries and to be rid of him for good. Block him on all channels and read Why does he do that.? by Lundy Bancroft. Your now ex is in those pages.

He targeted you deliberately.

What you are describing here is a controlling relationship and he’s really now showing his true colours after a year. His insecurity etc is really abusive in nature. In his head he is that paranoid that he will never believe you about this weekend being an all female one. He really does want to keep you in a cage of his own paranoid making. This type of controlling abuse is insidious in its onset and does creep up on people unawares.

Re your future weekend away go on your own or with a family member.

All of this.

Thank you everyone I really need to hear this. He just sent me a long text about how disrespectful I’ve been over the last year (not true) and that I lied to him about how many of us are going so what else am I lying about.. again not true.

need to keep the momentum of positivity up. And yes he usually does not like me seeing friends

He’s done you a favour op. What a pathetic little man.

Have a great holiday OP. Be sure to block and delete him before you go😊

He must be really good in bed to be putting up with that craziness. Doesn't his whining give you the ick?

This behaviour is a massive red flag. He does not love you. He is possessive & controlling. If you allow him to get away with it, the controlling behaviour will only escalate and in all probability will become abusive. He has handed you an opportunity to get out of the relationship before that happens. Take him up on it and enjoy your holiday.

Block him and do not respond. Doing so keeps the line of communication open and this door should now be firmly closed. He ended it and you’ve dodged a bullet. Again do not respond!.

Enjoy your weekend OP, you’re young free and single.
His issues are his to resolve.
Keep your bar high, never compromise, you have one life, don’t ever let anyone try to control your life and happiness.

He wants you to turn around and beg him to come back along with saying you won’t go. Tell him to fuck off. Go and enjoy yourself.

Do not reply to the text!!!

Run! Have a great holiday, and don’t look back! Block him on everything before you go.

My goodness you've dodged a bullet there!
Well done you for not adjusting your plans just to keep him happy, even if you did it would only get worse.