Boyfriend has split up with me because

[Thatisthatthen]

I am going on an all girls family holiday this weekend for a long weekend abroad. It’s been planned for months and we have been together for a year.

he has always had trust issues and he has always been insecure. He said this weekend is going to be the end of him and he has been very physically unwell this week in what he thinks is anxiety and stress induced.

He called me this afternoon and said, I’d rather be single with my head held high and walk away letting you carry on with what you are inevitably going to be doing this weekend, or I could stay with you never knowing the truth knowing you have lied to me.

i have never been unfaithful to him. He has made mountains out of molehills before over nothing and seems to use these as reasons not to trust but I just need a hand hold. Have been totally blind sided - I even booked us a weekend trip away in the coming weeks last night.

The trash has taken itself out.

Wave a cheery good riddance to the controlling fucker and enjoy your holiday.

You are supposed to be upset and beg him to take you back. You are supposed to cancel your holiday, or promise to let him track you, or call him constantly to reassure him you aren’t with a man, or generally ruin your holiday to be focussed on him. As he’s failed to get you to cancel the holiday, dumping you just before is supposed to make you so upset you won’t enjoy it anyway.

Dont reply to his message. Just block him and have a fabulous holiday.

He’s a twat. Go and have fun and carry on having fun without him forever

"Great"

Fuck him. Have a great holiday!

Men like this never change op, never, they just get worse as time goes on so please make sure you don't entertain the idea of taking him back.

Girl, the best thing you can do for yourself now is to block him on all channels and never hear from him again. Don’t give him the opportunity to send you abusive messages. Enjoy your weekend away and celebrate the fact that you have gotten rid of this disgusting person forever. Don’t reply, don’t engage, just move on with your life. You don’t deserve this drama, you don’t deserve anyone treating you this way. You have really dodged a bullet.

He’s trying to emotionally blackmail you into cancelling your trip.

sounds like you’re well rid of this controlling moron.

The flags! The flags! See the flags!!!!

You need to get rid. This is dreadful behaviour - it’s only been a year ! Imagine what your life will be like if you don’t.

Honestly you are better off without him. He is either mentally unwell or pathologically insecure. Do you want to be tiptoeing round this for the rest of your life?

What a dick. Enjoy your holiday

Ask yourself one question - can you live like this for the rest of your life? I think you know the answer. Go and have a lovely w/e and don't look back.

Get him to fuck, asap.

Gosh what a lucky lucky escape you’ve had! What a manipulative, controlling prick. He fully expected you to cancel your holiday and stay with him. OR he was going to turn up to “catch you out”. Don’t reply, block, delete. A lesson for him too. So glad you found out before you were completely under his control.

He is trying to guilt you in to not going. He sounds like a bit of a wet lettuce of a man to be honest

He’s absolutely pathetic, OP. You are well shot of him.

I had a boyfriend like this many years ago. In truth he was (and still likely is!) absolutely gorgeous, had women falling over themselves. He didn't see that he was good looking, the attention used to embarrass him, and he was shy. Unfortunately, he was deeply insecure - didn't like me going out with my friends, if a man as much as looked in my direction he'd go mad, accused me of looking at other men etc. You get the picture here. It manifested itself in me cancelling nights out, looking at the floor whilst out with him in case I got accused of looking at other men, wanted to be with me all the time etc. I split with him in the end, because I felt suffocated. I know at the moment, you've been blindsided as you weren't expecting him to dump you, but honestly, he's done you a massive favour. His behaviour is appalling, it's controlling and actually abusive. His insecurities are not your fault or responsibility to solve. These are his issues, that he needs therapy for.

OP do not weaken, ignore!! Hes an insecure and needy person, trying to prove his loyal ex gf was anything but. You don’t need this type of man, it would get 1000 times worse if you ever settled down with him. These are all his issues, not yours, you do not owe him anything. Enjoy your holiday

Have a great (guilt-free) holiday. Enjoy! You’ve done nothing wrong.

I echo the others, don’t have him back. Whatever he says, you’re worth more. He’s trying to emotionally manipulate you, don’t fall for it. They may be more tantrums and sulks to come, but ignore them.

Quite. Off you fuck...

Sounds like he is absolutely certain you are going to be cheating on him and lying to him about it. No trust in you whatsoever. You definitely deserve better. I would just reply with “ok 👍”

This is like giving in and playing along with someone with extreme anxiety and / or OCD, you initially think it’s keeping the peace and calming them but it actually just ramps up.

On to the next issue, and the next.

This is HIS problem, not yours. Live your life freely and honestly and I hope he gets the help he needs. You don’t have to put up with it at all and actually playing along with it, and changing your plans is bad for him and not helping him.

All the very best.

Thank you for all the messages I have read every single one and some of them have really made me laugh/smile!

im absolutely not cancelling my trip. I did just reply to his message, as he sent me two more than tried to call me. I basically said I had nothing to say back and I’m essentially not going to let him gaslight me. He’s chosen to make this decision for himself and that’s ok.

I honestly don’t know if this is a ploy to get me to cancel, or to just break me and make me grovel, beg and like others say ruin my weekend. Not going to lie, I will have some upset and sadness this weekend of course.. but if he is going to do this to me before I’m going on a trip then he won’t have a chance to come back so this is on him.

i feel angry right now, initially I cried, and now I’m mad, but later when the dcs have gone to bed I will probably cry! But that’s ok, I have therapy tomorrow!!