Boyfriend has split up with me because

[Thatisthatthen]

I am going on an all girls family holiday this weekend for a long weekend abroad. It’s been planned for months and we have been together for a year.

he has always had trust issues and he has always been insecure. He said this weekend is going to be the end of him and he has been very physically unwell this week in what he thinks is anxiety and stress induced.

He called me this afternoon and said, I’d rather be single with my head held high and walk away letting you carry on with what you are inevitably going to be doing this weekend, or I could stay with you never knowing the truth knowing you have lied to me.

i have never been unfaithful to him. He has made mountains out of molehills before over nothing and seems to use these as reasons not to trust but I just need a hand hold. Have been totally blind sided - I even booked us a weekend trip away in the coming weeks last night.

Relationships are supposed to be fun, happy and supportive. He obviously didn't get the memo. Let's hope he's getting therapy too - for his major trust issues.

Trash taking itself out.

Have a good holiday. He has done you a favour - you no longer have to ruin your holiday by having to call and text this utter bellend.

This happened to my friend who met a man in July last year. We'd booked our August holiday in January. He didn't want her to go because I was single, obviously on the pull, and whoever I pulled was bound to have a friend who would come on to my friend and no doubt drag her back with him by her hair like Fred Flintstone and Wilma. He was insufferable. She ignored it and went anyway. She'd been seeing him for 7 weeks!

Guess what? She dumped him this May because he slapped her. Then out came the stories of sulking, sexual coercion etc.

Edited to add neither of us pulled anyone. We just wanted a refreshing week away.

Reading your updates - hes a narcissist

OP you’re well shot of this controlling and misogynistic arsehole. His trust issues are his, not yours - him ending it means you don’t have to spend any more time justifying yourself to him for living your life, which is something that would only have got worse over time. Sometimes we only realise how bad a situation actually was until we’re free of it so treat it as a narrow escape. Delete the text, block him and go and enjoy your holiday. Don’t give him another thought.

Well congratulations and good riddance.

And please please please don’t get back with him when he comes begging and playing nice. People like this will flip and love bomb you when he realizes his ultimatum didn’t work and try to rope you back in.

Great. No baggage to declare as you return from your fab holiday. Bon voyage, OP.

OP you could direct him to this thread. And we could let him know what a loser he is.

It is absolutely sickening that a proportion of men see it as “inevitable” that a woman going out is on the pull. It certainly shows you what he really thought of you all along, and it is so so insulting.
He definitely is not someone that can improve anyone’s life.
As for his Head Held High 😂

Do not plan a future with this man, whatever happens. Do not give an inch. He would want to control you. Just say goodbye - you are well off out of this relationship.

@Thatisthatthen - please do NOT direct him to this thread. We don’t need controlling men crawling over MN threads.

You are well shot of this paranoid controlling loser. Let’s hope he really means it and will leave you the fuck alone. Sadly these types seldom do - he’ll be back trying to make your life a misery again before long, and when that happens, don’t give him another chance if you value your freedom and friendships and joie de vivre (not to mention your safety).

It’s natural to ‘grieve’ the end of a relationship and feel upset. He’ll also expect you to come running back to him, but don’t. Don’t be persuaded by promises that he’ll change either. He’s shown his true colours. He’s not going to change.

Absolutely this! You will be sad and should allow yourself the space to feel that once the initial rage has died down. Just don’t mistake any sadness over the coming weeks as missing him!

Yep. His head isn’t held high - it’s up his arse !!

He’s done you a favour. He wants you to cancel your trip and beg after him - he’ll forever be a control freak. Never ever get back with this man, it’ll only get worse.

Another vote for replying with 👍

Controlling insecure dick - next time a man doesn’t like you going out with mates, immediate dump.

The rubbish just took itself out.
Be glad, he's saved you from a life of misery.

I was once married to a jerk like this…….if he wants to end it with you then let him! He is nothing short of a controlling idiot and you are better of without him! Please DO NOT marry him!

The relationship sounded doomed from the offset due to his paranoia issues. It was always going to come to the forefront sooner or later. His issue. Go have a great weekend and forget about him.

He said, he would be happier never speaking to me again as he will never then know what I have been up to, yet he loves me so much, too much which is why his life is in a mess.

honestly he’s making out that I’ve been sleeping with men left right centre and totally disrespecting him the last 12 months which is far from the truth.

i know I am better off, I really do. I’m just hurt, but bring on the weekend! Surrounded by women who I love and love me, with sun, sangria and.. not sex!

Wow, I'd like to hear how he reacts if you have a friend who's a MAN (the horror).

A man like this will progress to telling you you can't go for lunch or a couple of drinks with your girlfriends. Then it'll be your sister and your mum. Or you'll be shagging some random bloke from your work, or "disrespectful" because you smiled at a waiter. Bullet dodged; at least you found out fairly early.

well done OP! He fully expected you to cancel rather than break up. Controlling behaviour worsens the deeper you get into a relationship so you’ve dodged a very large bullet.

It's ok to be sad about this, OP, as long as you understand that what you're sad about is the end of the hope that he was the One, not the loss of the actual One. Because the actual One is NOT going to be someone who becomes physically ill at the thought of his girlfriend going away with her friends for a couple of days.

He’s controlling, nasty little shit.

I suspect he’ll try and crawl back to you and will keep pestering you. Block him. He’s awful.

He's an insecure man child, Chuck him back, you deserve so much better