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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Boyfriend has split up with me because

841 replies

Thatisthatthen · 08/10/2025 17:23

I am going on an all girls family holiday this weekend for a long weekend abroad. It’s been planned for months and we have been together for a year.

he has always had trust issues and he has always been insecure. He said this weekend is going to be the end of him and he has been very physically unwell this week in what he thinks is anxiety and stress induced.

He called me this afternoon and said, I’d rather be single with my head held high and walk away letting you carry on with what you are inevitably going to be doing this weekend, or I could stay with you never knowing the truth knowing you have lied to me.

i have never been unfaithful to him. He has made mountains out of molehills before over nothing and seems to use these as reasons not to trust but I just need a hand hold. Have been totally blind sided - I even booked us a weekend trip away in the coming weeks last night.

OP posts:
JFDIYOLO · 12/10/2025 13:31

OP, how are you?

When we get involved in these threads I think there can be an element of 'what's the next installment of this intriguing tale? What happens next??'

It's easy to lose track of the fact that there's a person living this life, not a soap character, on the other side of the blue posts.

But many of those posting replies here may have lived the same experience, be going through the same challenges, and understand how things can go bad.

And when things go quiet, we can start to feel uneasy and worried for the OP. Because we understand.

How are you?

thewalrus3 · 12/10/2025 15:02

JFDIYOLO · 12/10/2025 13:31

OP, how are you?

When we get involved in these threads I think there can be an element of 'what's the next installment of this intriguing tale? What happens next??'

It's easy to lose track of the fact that there's a person living this life, not a soap character, on the other side of the blue posts.

But many of those posting replies here may have lived the same experience, be going through the same challenges, and understand how things can go bad.

And when things go quiet, we can start to feel uneasy and worried for the OP. Because we understand.

How are you?

She’s probably just enjoying her holiday.

Makingspoons · 12/10/2025 15:17

Not sure I could enjoy the holiday knowing that I was in a different country to the country that both my loose cannon of an ex and my children are in.

TheFormidableMrsC · 12/10/2025 15:26

Makingspoons · 12/10/2025 15:17

Not sure I could enjoy the holiday knowing that I was in a different country to the country that both my loose cannon of an ex and my children are in.

I presume the children are safely with their father who is NOT the lunatic OP has just got rid of.

TheFormidableMrsC · 12/10/2025 15:27

JFDIYOLO · 12/10/2025 13:31

OP, how are you?

When we get involved in these threads I think there can be an element of 'what's the next installment of this intriguing tale? What happens next??'

It's easy to lose track of the fact that there's a person living this life, not a soap character, on the other side of the blue posts.

But many of those posting replies here may have lived the same experience, be going through the same challenges, and understand how things can go bad.

And when things go quiet, we can start to feel uneasy and worried for the OP. Because we understand.

How are you?

She’s on holiday.

SpikeStoker · 14/10/2025 17:40

OP, I do hope you’ll fill us in on how the holiday went. Hope you had a wonderful time.

Original poster
Thatisthatthen · 14/10/2025 20:51

Hi all

Sorry for the radio silence I have Indeed been enjoying my holiday. I had the best time.

The police did call me even though when I reported I said I wouldn’t be available to speak until later this week. They were great and said they would call me back on an arranged date this week.

I had some messages from ex bf whilst away, but I did not respond. I did take some advice from someone who has worked with women and domestic abuse and they advised to keep unblocked for various reasons so until I speak to the police, that is what I will be doing.

thanks to those for checking in/leaving comments. It is appreciated - I will post any updates in due course x

OP posts:
menopausalfart · 14/10/2025 20:58

Great that you had a good time. Stay safe. x

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 14/10/2025 21:14

Thank you for updating us, it’s good to know you’re safe. I’m glad you’ve enjoyed your holiday, and hopefully not dwelled on things too much.

Silverbirchleaf · 14/10/2025 21:19

Glad you had a great holiday. Stay strong.

Pipsquiggle · 14/10/2025 22:28

@Thatisthatthen glad you had a lovely holiday and the police are in contact with you

JFDIYOLO · 15/10/2025 00:41

Brilliant - hope you were able to be frank with your friends and family about what he's been saying?

Alwaysinamood · 15/10/2025 08:12

I’d be tempted to do Clare’s law. But if you’re already split then not sure they’ll let you. I definitely think k you’ve dodged a bullet. Glad you had a great time away

Alwaysalert · 15/10/2025 08:14

So glad you got the break you deserved. Hope all goes well with your interview with the Police. Just be careful - even if you are finished he may still see you as his. So many awful things happen to women when they break off from their abuser. Please be vigilant. Stay safe and happy.

Andprettygood · 16/10/2025 07:29

Perhaps he wasn’t that bothered after all and has lost interest? 🤞

KillMeMounjaro · 16/10/2025 11:47

Glad you enjoyed your holiday. Stay safe and strong.

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