Amazing first date, heard from the next day but is now ignoring me.

[Boomska]

Hello!
im looking for advice.

I went on amazing first date that lasted 6 hours! We even had a hot kiss at the end and we both were sober as we were driving. We even spoke about going on a second date!

the first date happened on Friday night, we then spoke Saturday morning and afternoon where the convo flowed naturally. However, I haven’t heard from him since his last message on Saturday night which he sent at 6:45pm. I replied to it an hour later.

but then I’ve not heard from him. I’ve sent him another message Sunday mid afternoon just being like “hey noticed you’ve been quiet- I hope everything’s ok?” As he normally texts quite promptly. And still nothing. I know he’s been on his phone so definitely feel like he may be ghosting? 😭 I just hope he isnt ghosting me.

I’m just wondering when should I cut the chord and accept he’s ghosting or should I give him the benefit of the doubt and give him 72hrs?

thanks for reading xx

He's probably been on a date with someone else. I would give it a bit more time and then move on. You will have dodged a bullet.

Did he tell you of any plans for last night?

Nope. He said he had a pretty free weekend?

how much more time?

I'd throw this one back. It's not worth the stress, honestly

A couple of days

A couple of days form my last message or his last message? X

Ugh I hate it when this happens. Amazing chemistry, brilliant date, promise of a second.. and then nothing. You feel like there's all this potential, you get all excited, only to be let down when he vanishes into thin air.

I strongly suspect that this guy is in a relationship already, OP. Why tf else would he ghost you after such a great date? The only reasonable explanation is that he was just looking for some entertainment, but sadly isn't actually available. Online dating is full of these characters. Sorry OP. I hope I'm wrong - but I've been burned by guys like this before too, and there's just something super shady about his behaviour.

If a man wants you, there will be no doubt. There will be no second-guessing, waiting games or mind games. He will make time for you. Everyone can write a quick text to touch base, and if they don't, they don't care enough to do so.

He’s probably been on a date on Saturday night. Hence the silence.

Two days in and he's already fucking with your head. Don't allow it.

This is the truth. I ‘dated’ (i say that loosely) someome from work for a while and ended it for exactly those reasons. Yes he was busy (single dad) but I know he read my messages as soon as I sent them, then didn’t reply for hours, day, sometimes didn’t reply at all. I have no doubt if he really cared (he claimed I meant so much to him when I ended it) then he would be replying.

In this situation i’d say yes he is probably ghosting you now. I would just do nothing. You’ve asked if everything is ok, don’t do anything else. I wouldn’t block incase he’d had a genuine emergency.

One more time for the cheap seats at the back. This 1000%

Honestly I wouldn't have even sent that second text. Definitely don't send another one. Can you imagine what he'd be like in a relationship if he's like this now, when he's supposed to be on his best behaviour to impress you?

If someone can't be bothered to reply to me within 24 hours then I block/delete and move on. Unless they're dead, they have no valid excuse not to spare me a few seconds. They know exactly what they're doing and someone like that is not worth my time. Know your worth.

This seems to be very common, happened to me as well and I had no idea why. In my case he suddenly texted again after about 3 months, weirdo! I guess he was seeing others and texted again when bored. I blocked him.

its true if a man is interested he doesn’t ignore you. My last ex was a bit weird. He’d be confused as to why I’d want to hear from him every day. However even then I’d always hear back from him if I texted - he never ignored me. When they don’t reply at all it always means they aren’t bothered any more. Trust your instincts.

This thread has really surprised me. Are we really supposed to be in constant contact? With a person we've been on one date with?

Surely it isn't healthy to count in hours how long it is since somebody messaged? To be watching their online activity and ascribing meaning to it? This sounds like so much hard work.

After one date?

I've clearly been out of the dating game too long.

Indeed. How about relaxing and see what happens over the next week? Bombarding him with txts straight after the date quite possibly put him off. Give him some space. See what happens.

Thanks everyone for their input about this one. He definitely said he was a poor communicator on the date and that he was getting better, so maybe that should’ve been my first 🚩

something about this whole situation feels off, but it’s hard to know with online dating. I’ve had guys blame their mental health for going quiet…

he definitely could’ve been on another date and he’s right to do so, but that’s why I didn’t message for the rest of the Saturday night & waited until Sunday to send a prompt.

I think I’m going to send another message today (fuck what he thinks!) that basically says this: “Hey, I know you’ve said communication isn’t your strong suit, but I have to be honest; going quiet like this comes across as rude and hurtful. I’d much rather you be upfront and you’re no longer interested than just disappear”

i’ll keep you all updated xx

Well good luck with that….🤔🫤

It was one date, you're not joined at the hip (yet). He may have other obligations or friends he sees regularly, you hardly know him, he will be in touch if he's interested if not it was one nice date.

Honestly don't bother with another message. What would be gained from it?
You are investing far too much head space in this. Just leave it.
He went cold, it's done, does it really matter why after ONE date?

I totally get what you both mean but I think with online dating (or however you’ve met them!) you pick up on someone’s communication and see if it mirrors yours. I never said he had to be in constant communication, but the amount we were messaging was suitable for my preference. As for some people prefer more and some people prefer less 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ communication is a big thing for me because it shows how they included you in their life & whether they are thinking about your feelings, even after one date.

I wouldn’t bother sending that message. Really.

If he’s into you, you will know it.

If you have to wonder then he’s not into you.

Keep your dignity.

I think it is really unreasonable to bombard him with text messages because he hasn't answered for a few days. Honestly if I was dating again, I'd need to make sure that a new date understood that we arent going in with daily contact and expectations. We will build up to that.

Please, for your sake, do not send that last message. You aren't in a relationship and anything could have happened that is keeping him busy. Yes he may well be on another date. But in truth, you should have things to do as well. Not sat there waiting for his texts. It isn't healthy.

If a man took this approach to me, because I hadn't replied to him over the weekend, I'd see it as a red flag for control and abuse.