Amazing first date, heard from the next day but is now ignoring me.

[Boomska]

Hello!
im looking for advice.

I went on amazing first date that lasted 6 hours! We even had a hot kiss at the end and we both were sober as we were driving. We even spoke about going on a second date!

the first date happened on Friday night, we then spoke Saturday morning and afternoon where the convo flowed naturally. However, I haven’t heard from him since his last message on Saturday night which he sent at 6:45pm. I replied to it an hour later.

but then I’ve not heard from him. I’ve sent him another message Sunday mid afternoon just being like “hey noticed you’ve been quiet- I hope everything’s ok?” As he normally texts quite promptly. And still nothing. I know he’s been on his phone so definitely feel like he may be ghosting? 😭 I just hope he isnt ghosting me.

I’m just wondering when should I cut the chord and accept he’s ghosting or should I give him the benefit of the doubt and give him 72hrs?

thanks for reading xx

Another voice to the "don't text him again!"

He's not interested OP.

He's just not that into you. When they're interested you don't have to chase.

If you text him AGAIN, you'll come across desperate.

Please back off you will frighten him off.
I'm.not sure how old you are but I think this messaging thing with younger people os quite intense.
He is probably busy and will message in time.
Read a book called the new rules by Ellen fein and shrie schnider, its great. Especially for this day where people are joint at the hip to the phone.
Id generally when dating maybe hear once a day or few days, thats normal at early stages.
Also dont get too invested as these days guys often multi date

jeez, poor guy, guve him.some space! it was one date, on Friday. Its Monday! Im from a completely different generation from you and I know things are much more structured now with online dating but I just described this to my 19y old who I happen to be with and even he said this is coming across as desperate and I would block her now as she sounds roo intense.

I agree with everyone here, sending that text is not a good idea OP. Kindly, I think his silence tells you everything you need to know. Either he isn't that interested (most likely the case) or he genuinely is a "poor communicator" but if that is the case, you probably wouldn't be right for each other anyway as you are waiting and watching for his texts. Nothing good will come from you sending what you plan to send, the " you've gone quiet, are you ok" text a day after the date is a little cringe.

Fucking with her head?? He's not text back for one day! They've only been on one date! Maybe he's been busy? Maybe he decided to do something last minute? Maybe he doesn't feel obligated to instantly reply to every message he gets from someone he's known for six hours?

If someone sent me a "I've noticed you've gone quiet" message the day after I met them I'd definitely be going quiet!

Dear God, don’t text him again. He will think you are totally DESPERATE!

Honestly if someone id been on one date with sent me a ‘you’ve gone quiet’ message let alone the second one you’re planning on sending, the only response they’d get would be a 👍 before the block button was pressed

Me too. How can you notice a change in behaviour from someone you've known for 2 days! This is way too intense and it would really put me off, I'd think bunny boiler in our old parlance.

If someone who I’d only met once and had last messaged on Saturday evening sent me that first thing on Monday morning, I would think they were a needy lunatic.

And if I posted about it on MN, everyone would agree with me. There’d be a tumultuous chorus of ‘throw this one back’, ‘lucky escape’ and ‘more red flags than the Chinese army’.

It’s interesting to see how people rationalise this sort of behaviour.

I think it's about finding that balance in the early days of dating. No one wants an intense person nagging them every 5 minutes but also, people don't want to be messed about. If he's ignoring messages and she has to prompt him into conversation, he's not into her. If he had enjoyed the date as much as the OP, he'd have been in contact.

Good lord, don’t send that text! I wouldn’t have even sent the ‘you’ve gone quiet one’. If I was on the receiving end of either I’d run a mile. Silence is the best way forward.

Strongly urge you not to message and move swiftly on

Its from absorbing those SM tyoe memes where they say "girl if he dont call you every hour from when you meet, he dont deserve you , Queen".

When the reality is that a guy who calls you every 5 mins from when you meet is probably horrifically abusive or otherwise damaged

This. When a man is keen you will know about it. I would get on with your life and if he does get back in touch don’t make yourself too available. I wouldn’t have sent the second text tbh it’s better to wait and observe behaviour because you get a lot more information that way.

edited to add: just seen your update. For the love of god don’t send that text.

If he was keen he would have messaged you - it's quite honestly as simple as that. Don't message him again, just let this one go.

You have a date on Friday
You text on Saturday
But on Sunday, you get so needy/clingy you text him with “i haven’t heard from you, where is this going etc.”

This is so simple.

He isn't interested - you have now chased him and he has ignored this.

please do not give him a further thought.

Honestly just because a man doesn't message for 1 day after your first date, it doesnt mean he is definitely uninterested.

Or he might have been interested but scared off by the Sunday text! (i would have been)

Yes - this is key. Either he is fucking with your head or you are feeling as though he is - either way it’s not a good sign. Spare yourself further agony - please don’t send him any more texts at all.

I’ve been in your situation and his, where I enjoyed the date and got swept up in it, but next day had more realistic thoughts about it and didn’t want to see them again.

Which is fine, as long as you politely let the other person know. If that is the reason, hopefully he might let you know, but he might not and you need to protect your feelings now.

Essentially though, most people if they had a great date and wanted to see the other person again, wild horses couldn’t prevent them from sending one measly text.

I have to say I agree the 'you are quiet' message may have put him off if he isn't a big texter. But you know what Op - maybe that will be the right style for the right man.

I really believe in the saying 'what's for you won't pass you by' - if a single text put him off then he aint the one for you

move on...

Maybe had some family thing on the Sunday. Tired. Ill. Cat died. Mum fell. Me time. Youre speaking about 1 day. These expectations just arent healthy.

So you haven’t heard from him for a DAY and now you’re fretting and panicking.

Yes, it was a great date but you’ve met him ONCE. You’ve made it very clear you’re interested but you’ve possibly spooked him with the follow up text.

I think that’s a reach. Men in relationships looking for entertainment don’t spend time messaging someone and then spend 6 hours on a sober date. They look for someone with similar “just want a casual hook up” vibes, and go to a bar.

I think he’s just not interested (but had a perfectly fine time and was happy for a snog), and that’s perfectly possible for a single man. He should be more upfront about it.