DH said not to eat yogurt as it was just for DD15

[ForeverDelayedEpiphany]

Food order is coming this evening. Dh is usually one who does them.

We're out of yogurt so I ate a spoonful of natural Greek style yogurt that was left over which my DD prefers - i usually eat the Greek yogurt that is thicker and "real".

I haven't had much to eat today and literally just wanted a spoonful for my lunch with a nectarine, but as soon as I was putting it in the bowl, my DH says I needed to stop eating the yogurt as it was left for my DD and she said that she'd have enough, so he hadn't ordered any extra.

I've eaten the yogurt now but feel crappy and guilty. I know it's not a serious thing or the end of the world, but I do feel like sometimes he is a bit controlling at times. He often criticises the way I do chores like washing up or hanging up washing if I haven't done it in the same way he would - he says he's had years of doing it so his way works best - and as I dont hang clothes on the clothes horse in such a way that doesn't crease them, my way isn't the best.😳

Anyway, just a bit of a moan. I sometimes feel bad but I think i might have undiagnosed ADHD so have a little part of the being oversensitive side possibly.

This is why I put an extra fridge in the garage and put dd's food in there after dh kept eating her stuff. It's just selfish.

Well, no, I do agree there is an element of that in some ways, and I should probably pace the rate that I eat mine.

But I definitely didn't want to deprive my DD of more than anything bigger than a spoonful, and I left two thirds of a large pot of hers. I'd never be greedy and eat it all to myself.

You don't need to ration yourself when eating yoghurt. You just need to buy enough of it in the first place.

Yoghurt usually has a best before date about three weeks after you buy it, and tends to be OK to eat for a good month after the best before date. Just buy enough to make sure you never run out, and eat it in date order.

If your weird and controlling husband doesn't let you do the food shopping, tell him it's his fault for not buying enough yoghurt.

To be fair OP says she is ADHD. So is my dh (and dd) and there can be a thing of the more you buy/have in in, the more you eat.

Same with my OH, it would just get eaten and go.

Or he would forget about it and then he wont eat stuff that has been opened already or past the use by or BB date. Just wont eat it.

He also has intense phases of wanting something, eating it over and over again and then buys another big load of it and decides he doesnt like it anymore and it all goes in the bin

So am I 'controlling' about what comes in and out of the house? Apparently so.

In order to protect our budget very much so.

You'd clock a dessert spoon of yoghurt out of a family sized pot seriously you and @ForeverDelayedEpiphany partner need to get out more.

My brother had a brain injury that has badly effected his life and isn't totally independent he has to live with one of us needs lots of support etc but none of us....his siblings...would ever treat him and put him down this way. It sounds like either he enjoys his control or has become resentful.
Brain injury does seem to link to psychosis but it's controllable hopefully meds are the right ones now.....but your still strong and need to show everyone you can take control, have you had support from mind?

I'm very sorry for your brother, I truly hope he is ok. I empathise, brain injury is awful. My first concussion gave me post concussion syndrome and a mental breakdown, hence the reasons I was given the off label antipsychotic for severe insomnia and anxiety.

I've not had an awful lot of help from any charities regarding my head injury, and I'd say the medication induced injury had a worse impact on my life and mental health. It's a bit like Tourette's and Parkinson's disease combined, and unfortunately not treatable.

I'm always trying my best to be strong, but occasionally I do get very down.

Just buy more so you can both have some.

It irritates me beyond BELIEF when DH eats the food I've earmarked for dinners, lunchboxes etc. He's particularly bad with crisps meant for the kids lunches 🙄 but I wouldn't give a shit if he actually replaced it. Ooh the rows it causes.

Eat whatever you want just replace it.

Ah OP you have been through so much - it really angers me on your behalf that your husband is berating you and making you feel bad over a proxy spoonful of yoghurt.

Thank you, that's really kind of you. I know, it's why I often say to him "don't sweat the small stuff (spoonfuls!)".

I think life is better when you are doing ok and not worrying about things that truly don't matter in the grand scheme of things. Health is wealth, as they say, and that's far more precious to me than any amount of yogurt 😂

To be honest I get cross with my husband for eating food that I’ve reserved for my kids in my head. Like, did you REALLY need it? If it hadn’t been in the cupboard/fridge you probably would have happily gone without.

My dad used to do it to me and my brother too. I do actually really dislike it when people eat food ‘assigned’ to others, I’m realising now…

Well,, i could probably have gone without but it was literally just a spoonful. And I dont genuinely make a habit of eating others' food, especially when I know it's specifically bought for them.

I do understand why others get cross about it, I just think the way my DH said to me about how he felt was slight OTT.

@Autumn38

surely you wouldn’t begrudge your husband a spoonful of yogurt though?? It’s food that he (and you) presumably have bought and paid for.

Unless it's needed for school lunches, a special treat, birthday gift or literally the only thing to eat who assigns food? Do you have your own little boxes in the fridge with labels on ....yoghurt is a staple food and she didn't eat it all.

I'd recommend contacting mind...it is self referral but they do have counselling. He was knocked off a bus and in a coma my mum was given back an 11 year old with the skills of a baby so he's done really well to relearn walking, talking, self care etc.

So if you don't do the chores in the correct way, don't do them at all , he can do them 'properly' every. single. time. Also buy your own yoghurt.