DH said not to eat yogurt as it was just for DD15

[ForeverDelayedEpiphany]

Food order is coming this evening. Dh is usually one who does them.

We're out of yogurt so I ate a spoonful of natural Greek style yogurt that was left over which my DD prefers - i usually eat the Greek yogurt that is thicker and "real".

I haven't had much to eat today and literally just wanted a spoonful for my lunch with a nectarine, but as soon as I was putting it in the bowl, my DH says I needed to stop eating the yogurt as it was left for my DD and she said that she'd have enough, so he hadn't ordered any extra.

I've eaten the yogurt now but feel crappy and guilty. I know it's not a serious thing or the end of the world, but I do feel like sometimes he is a bit controlling at times. He often criticises the way I do chores like washing up or hanging up washing if I haven't done it in the same way he would - he says he's had years of doing it so his way works best - and as I dont hang clothes on the clothes horse in such a way that doesn't crease them, my way isn't the best.😳

Anyway, just a bit of a moan. I sometimes feel bad but I think i might have undiagnosed ADHD so have a little part of the being oversensitive side possibly.

I suspect I'm in the minority, but in the absence of dietary restrictions I find it a bit odd for anyone (particularly a child) to 'reserve' a particular food. You're family, not flatmates.

Yes, you see i said this to DH that it was like living in a students' hall of residence again. He replied that it was as i was taking someone else's food 😳

Missing the point here, but why would you put ONE spoonful of yoghurt in a bowl? Wouldn't you just scoop up a spoonful from the pot and eat it off the spoon? Particularly as that type of yoghurt is quite runny afaik.

I am not one of the posters that would say that when those threads appear.

Food is in the house, its eaten, it goes, its not eaten, it stays. Makes no odds

Im making the point that most posters on this thread are critical of your husband when its the other way round, they are critical of the husband who has eaten the stuff.

Eat the yoghurt, put yoghurt on the shopping list, job done.

I would 100% say this to my partner.
I’m not being controlling, it’s just that I have bought things specifically for the children.
I do the shop, and I’d also be the one that had to pop out to replace it if he ate it.

rather than be upset or annoyed by the comment, I’d either a) accept that you’d finished yours and have something different for lunch or b) use your daughters but actually go out yourself that evening and replace it.

He often criticises the way I do chores like washing up or hanging up washing if I haven't done it in the same way he would - he says he's had years of doing it so his way works best
Well then tell him he is welcome to do 100% of the chores.

I think it's a thing i do - I dont lick the spoon in case I suddenly decide to get more after I licked it - it saves me ruining the rest of the yogurt 😅

I also complain about OH's laundry skills he took it upon himself to do the washing and gets annoyed if I do it, so its his job. But yes I expect my clothes to be cared for with respect, hung properly, washed properly. He washes everything together, all colours, towels and t towels with clothes. I even found the other day he washed some clothes with cleaning cloths

I have to keep a lot back and do it myself.

I don't wash things haphazardly though. Or different sorts washed together.

I think it's difficult to find a compromise with someone who has totally different (higher) standards though, as i always feel like my way isnt quite good enough 😕

It doesn't seem that the child reserved it though, more that her dad did for her?

Yes, that is true. My DD prefers to eat this type but she's not the one to say "stop eating my yogurt"

Do you have an ED?

If I had one spoon of yoghurt for lunch, I would feel pretty sad too!

Unless you are really struggling for money, you should both make sure you get plenty of yoghurt for both you and your daughter.

But it’s not ok for him to tell you off like a recalcitrant child.

AS ever though it seems to not really be about the yogurt.

No, i do eat properly. It was just the dregs of food left before the order tonight.

True. But my point still stands because I think it's just as unreasonable for a parent to reserve things on behalf of a teenager.

I kinda agree about sometimes keeping particular things for young kids, or for lunch boxes where it's not easily substituted. But teenagers should be encouraged by their parents to be a bit flexible over things like this IMO.

Well, yes... i guess it's a bit of a reflection on what my feelings are about life, things i can control (or not), relationships etc. But the yogurt thing does still come into it too 😐

But my point still stands because I think it's just as unreasonable for a parent to reserve things on behalf of a teenager.

I think it's okay if say they have it for breakfast & it needs to last X amount of days.

But really it seems that he might as well just have ordered more if it's regularly eaten.

Presumably there's more yoghurt coming tonight in the delivery then? So DD would have to accept a lack of her favourite yoghurt for a few hours at most? Honestly, he's just looking for something to snipe about. I would have said 'there's very little left in the fridge and I am hungry so I'm eating this. DD will survive without it till tonight'.

You mentioned it being like students - is this a thing then that you each have your favourite foods that you have first dibs on? Do you and husband each have this as well?

Not everyone lives somewhere that they can just pop to the corner shop for more yogurt.

Presumably there's more yoghurt coming tonight in the delivery then? So DD would have to accept a lack of her favourite yoghurt for a few hours at most?

I don't think he ordered their daughter's preferred yoghurt which is why he told Op not to eat it?

There's some more of my preference coming that i will let her eat as much as she likes.

Plus if she has eaten all of hers, I can just about afford to buy another pot as one isn't coming in the order today.

It'll be ok 👍

We dont have first dibs as such but he does have to say that it's something that a certain person asked for, so they get priority to eat.

Then I would suggest he does them

Jaffa cakes are like this here. If I dont hide the box, OH will just go through them. Whereas I like to make things last so he will take that as that I dont want any and eat them

Right, so it's his mistake then that he's projecting onto OP for eating the sacred yoghurt.

I know you're on a budget OP but assuming you're buying those big 1 litre tubs of own brand yoghurt, it's about as budget friendly an item as you could get. Set your husband the challenge of buying larger quantities of yoghurt and dropping some other, less value-for-money item from the shop instead. Although I bet that somehow it'll end up being your fault still.