How much help have you had from parents in life?

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I never thought anything of it until I met my DH and his family. His parents have sacrificed so much for him and helped him with uni, housing prices and constant help whenever needed. It's made me wonder. As a kid my parents were fairly well off they ot me through sports which I am grateful for and though uni education very grateful for that. I was never allowed to have friends over after they built their own house so from 14 onwards as they were afraid of house parties and that I'd somehow break anything ( Inever broke anything). When I turned 18 my dad kicked me out and told me paid for all my uni and housing which I am very grateful for but I wanted to do a year abroad before and they said I wouldn't get help with uni if I did that. They are retired now and since then I haven't gotten anything from them. I don't know if that's normal or not but they never offered to pay for my wedding or help with a house deposit. To bring context they have a house worth over 1 million and my dad said he got a big stick payout in his retirement. I know Its not my money and they can do what they want, my partner this ks it's weird that they never offer to help. When our DD was born his parents gave us money to put for her education ect mine haven't but I'm not resentful. Just wondering is it strange to have parents not help when they can afford to?

I got £25k in 1991 from my parents so that was great but haven’t needed their cash since. They have bailed out my siblings quite a few time and would have given me similar if I had needed it.

My PIL never had spare cash so we never had anything from them. Which is totally fair enough.

We've given a lot to our 4 kids but we can afford it. We are all very grateful to be in this position. The kids all have good careers and are all hard working and responsible. They are lovely kids. They always have been.
We also help with DIY etc and with childcare.

My parents gave us some money towards our wedding and paid for the cake and my wedding dress. They also helped when we bought our first house by buying us a bed and washing machine. They have also paid for a couple of family holidays.

My husband’s family are also very kind. They gave us some money towards our house deposit and have paid for a couple of holidays. They have also lent us money in the past so we’ve not had to take loans out to buy things such as cars.

None. I help my own children though.

Nothing! I think I got a tenner in a birthday card when I turned 21! Your husband’s parents sound lovely. That’s how I plan to be with my kids when they are older 💖

My mum didn’t have much and was a single parent most of my childhood. She didn’t the absolute best she could and I never went without the latest trend etc
i stayed at home rent free until around aged 21. She always said if in education still then no rent needed but she ended up just never charging us.
Since moving out she’d come round and do our food shop for us when we were pretty skint. If I call her and need something she will drop everything to come.

Since having my daughter she does an incredible amount of childcare for us and is amazing.
she’s not rich and I won’t get any inheritance (council house, works in Asda not earning to much) but I know that woman has given me everything she possibly can with what she has and I love her incredibly

I’ve been very lucky to have lots of help from them. I got pregnant at 16 and they let me, DH and DS live with them for nearly ten years. They put DH through university and gave him the money to start his business, paid for our wedding and bought out our first house for us. Then once I was ready to go to university they paid for that too. Paid for my driving lessons and bought my first car for me too. They do loads of childcare for us as well. We will do the same for our DC.

Zero. Nothing. Nada.
My mum died when I was 7. Father was an abusive bully who died when I was 21.
I left home at 18. Put myself through university.
Later got a professional qualification.
No extended family ever helped at all practically, financially or emotionally.
Have no siblings.
I sometimes look on in wonder at the support others have or have had from their parents.

I think it’s quite sad you feel it’s pathetic :(
It’s not pathetic at all to accept help from parents or for parents to provide it. It’s completely natural for a parent to want to give their children a hand if they can afford it.
If parent can’t afford it then of course nothing should be expected or complained about but if parent can afford and have the means then it’s a wonderful act of love.

Husband’s parents not wealthy but would give us the coats off their backs. I’ve never had anything from my parents as they had nothing to give.

Nothing, ever. At 16 I was told that if I wanted to do A levels I'd need to find a job to support myself. Found a job so was able to do A levels. Wasn't charged rent or for utilities but I had to buy my own clothes, toiletries, food etc and pay for transport from my wages.

Financially, nothing substantial, just the odd meal out for example. However they are endlessly interested and supportive and we have no doubt that we are their main concern in life even now, when I have grown children, which is pretty fantastic. They have modelled a great marriage too.

My mum did the school runs for me for my 2 boys several days a week for about 6 years. This was after a horrendous situation where my 3rd son died of Sid’s and the childrens dad had been abusive so I had no help at all with the children. Due to my mum I managed to keep my career as my job is shift work so it wouldn’t be possible to pay for childcare. without her I would have lost my job.

I didn’t get any financial help and I paid for my own driving lessons, uni, house deposit, wedding.

For my sons I have paid for driving lessons, first car and house deposit. One is doing the open uni whilst working so has paid for this himself. I have just been left some money in a will and I will split this 3 ways between me and my sons. They haven’t got married as they are late teens. If they want me to and it’s possible I would do whatever I could to help them with any future children. I wouldn’t pay for weddings but would give them a gift if they got married.

None they made me leave at 16. I’ve never been bothered by it as my closest friends parents never even brought her a bed and she slept on a pile of clothes on the floor. They also never made her a packed lunch, or have lunch money or looked into applying for free lunches (would of hurt their pride apparently)

Seeing that always had me counting my blessings. I don’t think I know many people who had loads of financial help although I suppose they’re not going to go around admitting it.

I think emotional and practical support is far more valuable than financial help. Having grandparents who are present is a huge bonus. Rather that than just having money thrown at you. If parents are wealthy its easy to give money to compensate for not being present.

Nothing tbh. My dad paid for me to come on the family holiday when I was 19, but this was more of an apology after being vile to me when drunk.

My two brothers (older and younger) have had help with driving lessons and a car. They didn’t bother helping me and I happily moved out at 16.

My parents had no money to give - so I was self reliant. They generously gave me my train fare home when I visited from uni. Though, and they supported my sibling when they had a breakdown and returned to live at home. I knew they were there as a fallback in an emergency- but their resources were stretched and limited.

I married into a family where parents helped - so they gave all their dcs a nice lump sum when FIL retired. My own mother always said how lovely she thought this was, and how they would have liked to have been in a position to do the same, because that’s what parents do if they can ….

£300 towards going to college 40 years ago (don’t know what that’s worth now) and I stayed with my mum for a year or so in the 90s when I was saving for my own house. They were skint, so I never expected anything from them, and didn’t inherit much either. I’m pleased to have been able to work full time and stand on my own feet throughout child rearing and relationship breakdowns etc. but appreciate that I got onto the housing ladder before it all went bonkers.

Just to add they gave me a very happy childhood, despite the lack of cash and I loved them dearly.

Nope, my parents were quite poor and I’ve paid for everything myself since leaving home at 17. When the last one died, I inherited 10k from her savings. She rented a retirement flat.

I’d rather stand on my own two feet than sponge off my parents!

I was fed and clothed as a child. The day my parents visited me after I had my baby, they arrived empty handed. They have never given me any help.

But the help you accepted wasn't pathetic then?

They fed and clothed me as a child, but only on a very basic level. There was never enough food and I only ever had one change of clothes. I received no emotional support whatsoever - ever.

They made up my grant to the level of a full grant, which got me through uni and then paid for a wedding they insisted on taking place.

That was it. They had no interest at all in my DC and provided no child care.

It took years of therapy to figure it all out.

I am from an era where when you left school you were self-sufficient. I didn’t get any ‘help’ and neither did any of my friends to my knowledge.

I had a full grant through uni then I worked and they didn’t contribute when I bought my own home. It didn’t cross my mind that they would ‘help’ in any way. My father did pay towards my wedding but not the whole amount and it was quite a basic wedding anyway. My parents are generous and kind but there wasn’t a lot of extra money going around and parents didn’t pay for house deposits in those days and they didn’t for my siblings either.

Really not much at all. I was adopted when 1 so dont know biological parents. My adoptive parents bought me up until the age of 18, then I was on my own. I put myself through university, bought my own house and car, either paid for my own holiday from the age of 16 or didnt go!
Now with DC of my own the age of late teens, I struggle to comprehend the cut-off of support and 18. It has made me much more independent.

Nothing financial but modelled a very strong work ethic & importance on getting an education. All of us have good jobs, families of our own and have bought houses.

I don’t understand why your adoptive parents cut you off at 18? They were your parents! No parent cuts their child off at 18. Well done to you for managing on your own but it must have been incredibly hard. Are you angry with them?