How much help have you had from parents in life?

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I never thought anything of it until I met my DH and his family. His parents have sacrificed so much for him and helped him with uni, housing prices and constant help whenever needed. It's made me wonder. As a kid my parents were fairly well off they ot me through sports which I am grateful for and though uni education very grateful for that. I was never allowed to have friends over after they built their own house so from 14 onwards as they were afraid of house parties and that I'd somehow break anything ( Inever broke anything). When I turned 18 my dad kicked me out and told me paid for all my uni and housing which I am very grateful for but I wanted to do a year abroad before and they said I wouldn't get help with uni if I did that. They are retired now and since then I haven't gotten anything from them. I don't know if that's normal or not but they never offered to pay for my wedding or help with a house deposit. To bring context they have a house worth over 1 million and my dad said he got a big stick payout in his retirement. I know Its not my money and they can do what they want, my partner this ks it's weird that they never offer to help. When our DD was born his parents gave us money to put for her education ect mine haven't but I'm not resentful. Just wondering is it strange to have parents not help when they can afford to?

I didn't get any help in my adult life. However, I did get some financial help when I got awarded a schollarship to study for 1 year in Spain: flight tickets + 150EUR per month. They didn't give me any house money or wedding money, but spent everything they have earned/saved on a 2nd property and a new car for themselves. My uni was free and I commuted from home.
My sister got a little more help. But she stayed close to my mum while I emigrated., so I guess it's fair.
My DH, on the other hand, came from impoverished family. His dad died young and he had to maintain 3 siblings and mum for 10 years.
We want our DCs to have a better start in their adult lives, so we're saving hard for their future.

A couple of thousand pounds over sixty years but they were always been there for me . Unlikely to inherit anything

DH and I were brought up independent first borns and have always worked for everything and had our struggles and I could never ask for money from DP or PIL, I'd rather go bankrupt. Having said that we have had unexpected help:
My DPs paid for our wedding, around £5k. We didn't expect them to, we were saving for it but they offered as they paid for DB's Uni.
My DPs and PILs did a day a week each of childcare before school age which was an absolute godsend in those expensive childcare times and a boom for their relationship to their grandkids.
PILs gift us approx £3k a year, we do not expect it and I'd prefer them to treat themselves instead. They claim it's for tax reasons but it seems to mean a lot to them to pass some £ on to DH and BIL, it's odd to receive it now that we're doing financially ok.

I think my DC can house share or rent if they can't afford a deposit. That's what I did.

I’ve had hardly any help from either of my parents
I paid for my own driving lessons
got 100% mortgage on my first house
have always had a part time job since 13 (paperound)
didn’t go to university as they put me off because of the cost neither did my siblings

they had their own house but not amazing jobs, dad died first then my mum and the house and some savings were split 4 ways which was nice but we all said we wished they’d helped a bit more over the years and they could have afforded to do so.

I’ve saved the inheritance for my kids as house deposit money 💰

Private school. Driving lessons. Bought first car (£500 old banger). I had a part time job and paid for my own insurance and petrol.

Paid my rent while I was at uni (Scottish student so no tuition fees). When I moved back north to our hometown they bought a flat for me to live in, with my flatmate paying them rent. They still own the flat and rent it out.

Paid for my wedding, although I kept costs to a minimum while also letting them be as involved in the planning as they wanted as I knew it was important to them and also appreciated the financial help.

Husband and I then continued to live in their flat for a few years, paying rent of about 50% the going rate. This enabled us to save up a deposit to buy our first house.

No further financial help given from this point onwards, but lots of practical help with our house and dogs.

When we had kids they did two days childcare per week in the preschool years which enabled me to go back to work and saved us thousands of pounds in childcare fees, as well as giving my kids a lovely start in life.

I’m totally indebted to them and will do every thing I can to pay them back in any way I can. I feel very, very lucky.

Absolutely no help financially, they couldn’t afford it I’m sure if they could they would’ve. No money for uni or any money buying a house, both of my parents still rent and we own our house which I sometimes feel weirdly guilty about. It was really difficult for us though, and we worked hard to get to where we’ve got as well as being immensely lucky with our careers. We are putting money away for our DC though so they don’t have to struggle like we did.

My Parents paid £400 in 1982 for my wedding reception and basically that is it, l paid for everything else for my wedding and home. A couple of years later about 1985 l paid for them to have central heating in that cost more than they paid for our wedding reception by a lot . So in effect they have bought me nothing and paid for nothing and l am very glad l did that . My brother had 5k given him on his wedding day and my sister had her wedding paid for by my parents and 2K in cash. My brother lived with my parents until he was 40 for free .
I don't and didn't want to be beholden to them ever .

Mine withdrew all financial support while I was doing A levels (with plans to go to uni) so I had to leave school, get a job and give mother one third of anything I earned. I left home at 18. No financial support since. No inheritance.

We’ve been very different with our DCs. Full support through uni. Driving lessons. Help with first car. Help with rental deposits etc.

My parents seem similarly set up to yours, very well off.

They put me through private school and uni, helped out with a deposit on my house and paid for my wedding. They've helped us out with funding renovations here and there too, and my dad pays into a private pension for me alongside the one I pay for.

As someone alluded to upthread, the secondary motivation for most of this is to avoid a huge inheritance tax bill. My parents' view is that they have more money than they could possibly spend in their lifetime and they'd rather us have it now when we need it than have us wait another 30 years and then lose half of it to tax.

I haven’t had any financial help and they didn’t help with child care or babysitting.

I have watched them help my sibling who was in a better situation than me which stung at the time.

No help at all. They moved away from the city where my DB and I grew up; to build a house in a very rural setting. DB and I both had jobs and friends in the city. DB was 18. I was 20.
Our DF had to travel to and from work in the city and every weekday, so gave us a lift but we couldn't realistically have any social life. We lived in a caravan in a field. Water from a stand pipe which froze in winter. So after two years of that we both left home. We sofa surfed until we could afford to house ourselves. Our parents weren't happy about us leaving, but offered no help at all, either practically or financially. My DB said recently that our parents never said they loved us or really ever showed any affection. I had never thought about it but now realise he was quite correct.

I help my DS and DD as much as I can in whatever way they need. They both know how much I love them.

Should add that totally COULD have supported me through uni, helped with wedding etc. They were pretty well off, dad was a high earner and they both had large inheritances themselves. Younger brother got anything he asked for but he also got no inheritance as DF remarried and his new wife inherited everything on his death.

Financially, not much. Maybe a £100 here or there but even now I don’t think they’d be in a position to help even if it was a loan.

Personally, nothing once I’d left home. Dh was given a lot of financial support via £3k a year gift, help with deposit (which helped me) and an inheritance which helped further to pay down the mortgage and means we can help dc at uni to pay for accommodation and top up the maintenance loan. It’s been very helpful and although dh and I are not really high earners we hope to help dc with a flat deposit when the time comes (about 8-10 yrs away).

I can’t understand parents who hoard wealth when their kids are struggling, especially nowadays in London and the SE.

Quite a bit. They paid for my uni tuition and rent, which was 8k a year for three years. They gave me 10k for my first wedding. 5k for my second wedding. Various expensive gifts across the years – phones, iPads, laptops.

Nothing mad like a house deposit – I did that by myself. My dad has now passed and left me £65k which I’m using for house renovation and to bring the mortgage down a bit.

I am thankful.

Oh, and my mum had my twins for 2 days a week from 1-4yrs old, which saved us 15k in childcare a year.

1 term of uni rent and fees. My mum bought me my first car at 23 (it cost 2k) but only after we got in a big fight as my sibling was on his 3rd car paid for by her.

I'm actually grateful for how financially independent it made me on the whole and I became able to always sort something out and have a high resilience. Now older my mum realises the difference between financial support between my sibling and I (its well over 70k over the years) and tries to give me money which I reject. Not in a mean way just I don't want it and prefer she spend it on herself.

DH is a different story his family had stocks and shares set up for him from a young age and paid for uni. He's had multiple random cash amounts over the years from family just because.

no emotional nor financial support. Golden child got handed tens of thousands and the rest of us, nothing. I was amazed when I started to realise that some parents are kind, loving and generous towards their children. I have damn well made sure to help my children financially when I can.

I will treat my kids equally.
But I dont believe giving them house deposits and cars is the definition of kindness.

They sound awful, aside from anything financial. Banning you from having mates over and kicking you out at 18. What a pair of pricks

My dad died a few years ago but my mum
helps me financially and emotionally, gave some money towards house deposit and a little towards wedding.

Loads. Like I’m forever indebted to them and not just financially. Private school, no uni student debt, bought me my first home and then helped me with costs to move up the ladder, paid my wedding, provide free childcare daily. But most of all , they’re the kindest most generous and supportive parents I could ever ever ask for.

Your parents sound pretty mean to me, OP - not all parents can afford to fund their children but kicking you out of the family home at 18 seems pretty shitty and hard hearted to me. They sound very unloving.

My parents refused to fill out the financial forms for uni, so I couldn't go. I left home shortly after that and haven't had a penny. Got myself a 100% mortgage some years later and paid for our own wedding.

A little help at the start of adult life makes a huge difference to people's lives. I can see where friends had little helping hands, how much easier their lives have been and how much more property wealth they have than me (because they were gifted even just small deposits or allowed the grace of living with parents to save for deposits), and also better jobs (because they went to uni).

I will be helping my child as much as I possibly can. It makes no sense to me why one would not.

Absolutely none whatsoever. I think I come from a class and generation where parental help wasn't expected.

Tell a lie:

1. My dm lent us a few thousand pounds to pay a tax bill, but we paid it back in full within 3 months.
2. My df came up for the day when we moved house and had a 3 year old and 7 month old to look after.

Other than those two times, I cannot think of anything.