Page 3 | GF left me when I came out to her as bisexual, are there any women who would be ok dating a bi man?

Soontobe60 · 10/08/2025 17:01

SupposesRoses · 10/08/2025 16:27

Yes, it is biphobic to change your opinion of the man you have been dating for 5 months based only on his orientation. It would be like finding out he had a different religion or ethnicity than she had assumed and immediately breaking up with him. It’s pure prejudice, nothing to do with consent at all. You can break up with someone because of your own bigotry, you don’t have to consent to anything you don’t want with anyone, but you can’t expect to behave like a bigot and never be called one.

Show quote history

I bet you think women who divorce their middle aged husbands when they decide at 50 that they’re really women and start to steal her knickers are transphobic too.

Personperson · 10/08/2025 17:02

Hi op.

There is nothing gross or wrong about you being bisexual. Your girlfriend was wrong to say that. There will be several ladies who would be okay with it.
Always make sure they know from the start though as you dumped extra info about yourself on her from a big height and that was wrong.

However I wouldn't date a bisexual man as my sexuality is being heterosexual. And my sexual preference is that my partner is heterosexual.

There is nothing wrong with my preference just as much as nothing wrong with your preferences. It's what makes the world go around. Just be truthful from the offset.

Avoidhumans · 10/08/2025 17:04

Im a bi woman and slept with bi men and bi women.
It really dose not matter to me.
Just as long as their is full consent on both sides and conception.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 10/08/2025 17:09

Also older, but if I dated someone who after 5 months said they liked blokes as well I would ditch them. I can’t be arsed with all the lingo. Either you like women and want a committed relationship or not.

curious79 · 10/08/2025 17:12

I’m sure others have said it, but if you’re not intending to act on your attractions to men why even define yourself by it?

historically the issue with a lot of bi men was they tended to become more homosexual with age. If you told me this in a relationship I would just be waiting for you to act on repressed feelings

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 10/08/2025 17:13

I think the thought of my man having sex with a man or wanting to is a turn off, sorry

You can put bisexual in your dating app and date a queer or bi woman, or a very open minded straight woman. But you'd be most likely to be well matched with a pan or queer woman.

curious79 · 10/08/2025 17:14

I’m sure others have said it, but if you’re not intending to act on your attractions to men why even define yourself by it?

historically the issue with a lot of bi men was they tended to become more homosexual with age. If you told me this in a relationship I would just be waiting for you to act on repressed feelings

TheRealGoose · 10/08/2025 17:14

I’m sorry id also be out op. The fact you’ve had one girlfriend and never been with a man , at 27, tells me there is something not right here, you’re clearly thinking about sex with men whilst saying you don’t want to be with one. I’d assume at some point if the opportunity arises you will engage. The fantasising will stop. You need to be honest with partners from the start, not 5 months later, and if you want to have sex with a man then find a willing partner.

this isn’t I’ve experienced I know what I want, this is, I’ve lived inside my head I’ve decided I want to be in a straight relationship but really I’m over here fantasising about men.

MyQuirkyTraybake · 10/08/2025 17:17

Coconutter24 · 10/08/2025 15:51

I've never been with a man before but I dont see myself ever being with a man long term.

If you said that to me and we’d just started a relationship I’d end it. It says to me that our relationship won’t last because you’ll want to go and try being with a man at some point or you’d cheat on me with a man. It’s fine to like both sexes but equally if you’re in a relationship you shouldn’t be thinking of other men or women anyway

All bisexuals are automatically cheaters? Where did you get that belief from? 😂

ChandrilanDiscoDroid · 10/08/2025 17:21

curious79 · 10/08/2025 17:14

I’m sure others have said it, but if you’re not intending to act on your attractions to men why even define yourself by it?

historically the issue with a lot of bi men was they tended to become more homosexual with age. If you told me this in a relationship I would just be waiting for you to act on repressed feelings

Because - much as a single straight person is still straight while they're single and doesn't become asexual - being bi remains a part of you when you're in a relationship, no matter who you're in a relationship with. And you might want to actually be known by the person you are closest to.

I've been in a heterosexual relationship for twenty-plus years. But that doesn't make me straight. It makes me a bi person who's in a heterosexual relationship. I am monogamous, I love DH, and I have no intention of cheating on him or dating women, in exactly the same way as I have no intention of dating other men. But 'straight' doesn't fit. To tell him I am straight would be cutting off a part of who I am to wedge myself into a box that doesn't quite fit. That's not the same thing as feeling compelled to fuck other people.

Love is the same for bi people as for straight and gay people. When you love someone and are in a relationship with them, you love them and are in a relationship with them. The fact that you are also capable of being same-sex attracted is no more relevant within that relationship as the fact that you're capable of being opposite-sex attracted. And if you want to know why you 'need' to be open about your sexuality to your partner and/or others, you could always listen to the many, many queer people talking about why it matters.

Lampzade · 10/08/2025 17:22

I would not want to date a man who sleeps with other men.
My preference is a heterosexual man
Op’s former partner obviously felt the same way

Franwith2and1 · 10/08/2025 17:33

ChandrilanDiscoDroid · 10/08/2025 16:11

If a het person can "suppress" their attraction to other opposite-sex people while in a monogamous relationship, why wouldn't a bi person be able to "suppress" their attraction to other people in a monogamous relationship?

Show quote history

Because for my ex there was something he liked to do with men he couldn’t do with me basically and clearly he couldn’t suppress it as went behind my back
yes same as same sex if you see it this way
Unfortunately he felt as it was with men and wasn’t actually sex it didn’t matter 🤦‍♀️

ChandrilanDiscoDroid · 10/08/2025 17:38

Franwith2and1 · 10/08/2025 17:33

Because for my ex there was something he liked to do with men he couldn’t do with me basically and clearly he couldn’t suppress it as went behind my back
yes same as same sex if you see it this way
Unfortunately he felt as it was with men and wasn’t actually sex it didn’t matter 🤦‍♀️

Show quote history

I'm really sorry your ex cheated on you, but he cheated because he's selfish and dishonest and not because he's bisexual, just as if he'd pursued a specific sex act that you disliked with another woman he'd be cheating because he's a selfish liar and not because he was heterosexual.

YesterdaysFuture · 10/08/2025 17:40

Personperson · 10/08/2025 17:02

Hi op.

There is nothing gross or wrong about you being bisexual. Your girlfriend was wrong to say that. There will be several ladies who would be okay with it.
Always make sure they know from the start though as you dumped extra info about yourself on her from a big height and that was wrong.

However I wouldn't date a bisexual man as my sexuality is being heterosexual. And my sexual preference is that my partner is heterosexual.

There is nothing wrong with my preference just as much as nothing wrong with your preferences. It's what makes the world go around. Just be truthful from the offset.

60 years ago heterosexual wasn't a label for anyone. Not sure how the human race continued to exist if people only dated people who had a particular label.

Heterosexual means you're attracted to the opposite sex. There isn't a sexual orientation for being attracted to the label a member of the opposite sex has given themselves.

DancingInTheBroadDaylight · 10/08/2025 17:43

I'd be nervous that you hadn't explored it yet - an ex friend came out as bi during his marriage and had a series of hookups with men - not saying that all bi people cheat, but if it's something you've just discovered about yourself maybe you should explore it before committing to someone.

SouthernFashionista · 10/08/2025 17:44

Not a chance. Good luck with that.

Gymbunny2025 · 10/08/2025 17:45

I have a friend who is more sexually attracted to bisexual than straight men. For me I would have ended the relationship

BuckChuckets · 10/08/2025 17:46

Yes, I would and have dated bi men.

Maddy70 · 10/08/2025 17:48

It's a bit of a turn off for me too TBh for no real reason

alexdgr8 · 10/08/2025 17:53

No. Partly because some gay men are very promiscuous and that is a health risk factor imo.
It's also not a way of life I would find acceptable.
A long term same sex partnership is different.
But in that case he wouldn't be involved or want to be involved with a woman. Would he.
So it's a no from me.

ChandrilanDiscoDroid · 10/08/2025 18:06

alexdgr8 · 10/08/2025 17:53

No. Partly because some gay men are very promiscuous and that is a health risk factor imo.
It's also not a way of life I would find acceptable.
A long term same sex partnership is different.
But in that case he wouldn't be involved or want to be involved with a woman. Would he.
So it's a no from me.

What 'way of life'? Being in a monogamous relationship, like the OP? What 'ways of life' do you approve of?

RepoTheGeriatricOpera · 10/08/2025 18:12

alexdgr8 · 10/08/2025 17:53

No. Partly because some gay men are very promiscuous and that is a health risk factor imo.
It's also not a way of life I would find acceptable.
A long term same sex partnership is different.
But in that case he wouldn't be involved or want to be involved with a woman. Would he.
So it's a no from me.

This is just homophobia.

lizzyBennet08 · 10/08/2025 19:12

In my experience , most bimen I've known have ended up with men so it would be a no from me.

IsThisLifeNow · 10/08/2025 19:18

There will definitely be women that are ok with it. I wouldn't be but that's my issue, not theirs. I'm currently divorcing a gay man who hid his sexuality from me despite having male partners before me, and also during our marriage. I just couldn't trust him to stay faithful, but tbh, I'm not sure I'll trust anyone any future partners no matter their gender or sexuality

Ladamesansmerci · 10/08/2025 19:20

pinkdelight · 10/08/2025 15:55

There are women who'd be okay dating bi men, but I think the issue is more that if you tell the woman you're with that you're bi at that point, it sounds like you want something other than to be with them for the forseeable. If you want to explore your bi identity then go for it, but the place to do that isn't in a presumably monogamous het relationship.

The way you're categorising yourself in these ways when you've not even been with a man and don't see yourself as being with one long-term, and have only dated one girl, sounds like you're a bit too early on to be pinning yourself into these categories, which are a bit tortured to be honest (hetromantic!). If you've got to explain it in these theoretical terms while to all intents and purposes you don't really know as you've only been with one girl for five months, then I'd play the field more (being honest with all about your level of commitment/intentions) and find out who you're truly attracted to before volunteering this kind of info and upsetting the het woman whose time you've wasted. Find out if you actually like cocks and men as more than just friends as much as you think you do, and if so, then you can be a lot more open and upfront instead of blindsiding someone with an identity newsflash that sounds like she's not going to be enough for you.

Show quote history

Lol what? There are some wildly biphobic responses on here.

Someone will not cheat just because they're bi. To assume a bi person will cheat, is biphobia. People cheat because they're assholes, not because their sexuality makes them promiscuous. Saying someone bi is gross is obvious biphobia, like c'mon.

And how is describing yourself as bisexual and heteromantic 'theoretical'? You don't need to shag someone to know your sexuality. I'm a lesbian. I knew that before I slept with a woman. I've never slept with a man and don't ever want to. You would never say to a straight woman 'oh go and sleep with a woman to be sure you don't like vagina first'.

Honestly 🙃

Anyway, OP, you will find women for whom this won't matter. I'm obviously gay, but if I was a bi or straight woman, I absolutely would not care.