GF left me when I came out to her as bisexual, are there any women who would be ok dating a bi man?

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So I was dating a woman for 5 months and I decided to tell her that I was bisexual but hetromantic (meaning that your sexually attracted to both but only see yourself in relationships with the opposite sex). She then said that its a turn off, gross and that she cant date a man who is bisexual.

I know we all have preferences but are there any women who wouldnt mind or even prefer it?

By the way im 27 and she was the only girl that I dated, I've never been with a man before but I dont see myself ever being with a man long term.

There's a huge difference between dating someone who was out, at least to themselves, as bisexual well before you started dating (I've dated out bi men it's no different from dating a straight man)

And dating someone who comes out WHILST dating you.

The latter suggests they're realising they want to explore a side of themselves that was "hidden" when they met you.

Now, that doesn't mean they're instantly going to go have sex with men, but it DOES mean that their sense of self is in flux, and TBH they need to go figure out who they are outside of a relationship before being in one IMO

I agree with another poster, you've never had a relationship with a man or any sexual encounter, yet you are absolutely sure you want a long-term relationship with a woman. How do you know this, if you've never been with a man? Once you have, you might find your opinion changing! No woman is going to stick in a long-term relationship with you, when there's a possibility you might decide you want to explore a sexual and/or relationship with a man. My honest opinion is that you need to explore both sides of the coin, and see if you are still of the same view. Leaving it 5 months before telling a woman (or a man), is too long. You need to be upfront from the start. Leave out the micro labelling, you're either bisexual or you're not.

It would be a no no for me.

Definitely a no for me

I wouldn’t be bothered by dating a bisexual man at all. However I’d maybe feel a bit strange if he came out during the relationship, just because I’d wonder what made him realise and if he was being faithful.

As you can tell from a lot of the answers OP it’s because there are still a huge percentage of people who are biphobic. Mostly where they assume that “being attracted to” equates to “shagging”.

Somehow people understand that their heterosexual partner can find other women attractive but not shag them, but can’t comprehend that their bisexual partner will both men and women attractive and not shag them.

It’s equally visible in the remarks about “why does it matter if you are in a heterosexual relationship”. It matters because most couples will have the occasional conversation about e.g. which celebrities they find sexy (without actually shagging them!).

People who are bisexual are always assumed to be sluts.

IDK why you’d tell her tbh. I never told my now husband, he only knows because we ran into my ex gf once. He never asked so I never mentioned it. He wasn’t bothered but he does make fun of me because she looks a lot like me and “of course you’d date yourself”. If you have never been with a man and have no intention of a LTR with a man, I personally wouldn’t bring it up. For a lot of women it will be a deal breaker.

Personally I wouldn’t because I’d be scared of you doing a Philip Schofield on me. I know that’s bad and it’s wrong to think like that, but I would be very paranoid. That’s me being totally honest with you.

This. I had a relationship with a bi man a while back. I ended things because he was a lazy, passive individual, not because he was also attracted to men.

I think you will have more success trying to meet women in LGBT spaces. Try pride or a gay bar.

Yes, it is biphobic to change your opinion of the man you have been dating for 5 months based only on his orientation. It would be like finding out he had a different religion or ethnicity than she had assumed and immediately breaking up with him. It’s pure prejudice, nothing to do with consent at all. You can break up with someone because of your own bigotry, you don’t have to consent to anything you don’t want with anyone, but you can’t expect to behave like a bigot and never be called one.

I think it's what went unsaid when you said "I can't see myself having a long term relationship with a man," what can you see yourself doing? She would probably like you not to be imagining doing anything that isn't with her.

You aren't out and proud, you are on a journey of self discovery and it's reasonable she doesn't want to be on it with you. You've only just started dating at all, it's normal for there to be bumps, just get back out there.

@SupposesRoses I actually dont think its biphobic, its fine to have preferences

I think you should've been upfront about it, op. Especially if you havent had relationships with men before, i would think you would want to experiment at some point and that taking things further is a waste.

I think, if you've only had one girlfriend and no boyfriends, you need to get out there and date men and women and sleep with men and women, to find what you do like.

Youre only young 🙂, try dating a man and see if you like it. Have fun with it xx

But you obviously fit all your ex’s preferences as she was dating you for 5 months? Of course it’s prejudiced for her to change her entire opinion of you based on a single fact. You’re hurting all of us when you tell straight people it’s OK to assume how we are going to behave just because we’re bi.

I have no interest in only ever being able to be half of what satisfies a partner, so I wouldn't ever date anyone who said they were bi.

It's the same as marrying a woman who believes she is marrying a straight man then turning around and announcing to her you are trans.

You aren't what you said you were and it feels deceptive.

Tell people upfront and I expect you'll get more acceptance, but most heterosexual women want a relationship with a heterosexual man.

If you've never even dated a man yet, there is a high chance that you will become more curious about finding out what you've missed in the future, which either means you cheat or you end the relationship over something she can never be/change.

It’s a no from me.

There's a difference between being bisexual and telling your partner early in the relationship, and being 'heteroromantic but bisexual' (aka wanting a woman for the gnarly parts of the relationship but just wanting men for shagging) and coming out into the relationship. I have never seen that happen and the outcome not be he fucks off and leaves her for a man (or at least the men he thinks he's going to find on an app).

I wouldn't. And the cute "het-whatever" special label would put me off too.

Firstly because micro labels are childish

Secondly because you just told her you want women for wifely duties while you fantasise about men.

Don't be ridiculous, you can stop dating a man for absolutely any reason you like including because he's bi or because he's Buddhist or because he likes collecting My Little Ponies. You can literally decide not to date someone for absolutely any reason you please and none of it is any way 'phobic'.

Sorry OP, I've been very badly burned on this one before and so once bitten twice shy. So no, I wouldn't date a bi man.

Also it would be the bit about lack of truth for 5 months. The start of the relationship built on dishonesty by omission.

I’d bet my life savings that if a gay man said the thought of having sex with a woman was gross, you wouldn’t call him heterophobic would you?

I wouldn't but many women would

I would break up with someone of they told me the person they initially presented to me wasn't the real them... For any reason.

For example I think that men who have relationships with women whilst deep undercover, haven't really gained consent!

Yeah this basically. Had it in my family and what a head fuck that was for them.