I don't want to live together.

[ItsTheCoo]

My partner of 9 months is pushing for us to live together and I simply don't want to. I had a messy divorce and now own a lovely little house with my children where we are very happy. Partner (f) lives in rented accommodation with their 2 children and wants us to rent together. Our children get on, but I think its too soon and I'm unsure if I ever want to live with a partner again. My partner is not happy about this but I just can't bear the thought of moving my 2 children (one with additional needs) out of our little bubble.

I'm considering walking away.

I'd feel the same as you. I'd continue the relationship as it is in separate houses, or walk away. Even without kids involved this is far too early to move in with each other.

Don’t let yourself be emotionally blackmailed into moving in with him. The fact there’s kids involved makes it an even bigger no imo.

And please don’t let him persuade you to have him move into yours.

Absolutely not OP, do not do it. It’s too early and not in yours or your kids best interests. Keep that house of yours, it would make absolutely no sense to rent somewhere else.

And yep absolutely do not have her move into your house!

Tell him (or her) you just want to date - you don't want to live together for a long time yet

Just keep repeating you dont want her and kids to move in. Just be careful theres not an incoming sob story of landlord selling up, shes desperate, can they move in? Youll never get rid

You don't have to if you don't want to.
If she doesn't understand it just call it a day.

It’s really not on for your partner to be pressuring you in this way about something so major. 9 months is no time, if you are meant to be together for the long haul then what’s the rush? I’d find it really unattractive that they felt it appropriate to essentially try to bully you into making a decision you don’t feel right about.

My neighbours lived apart for over 20 years and it worked well for them for all that time. They both enjoyed their time together, and their time apart. They live together now, as children are well grown, and it made sense for them to be closer and giving each other more time and support. Someone who really cares about your (and your families) well being wouldn’t try to rush you into a decision you are not ready to make.

I’d question if she’s doing it for selfish reasons, wanting to cut living costs and get help with child care. Neither of which are good reasons to upend your family from your nice little safe space.

Just say no and, as you said, end it if necessary. Keep your happy little home - good for you

She should respect your decision. It’s the right one and she has no business pushing you.

I wouldn’t even have introduced them at 9 months!

Not a chance. Homosexual by any chance?

I am divorced and both me and my ex told children we wouldn’t live with anyone else until they left home. We both have new partners the children really like, all children get on fine but I am loving my own space and house and am very happy to continue as we are! I am now engaged but even when we are married we won’t move in together until dc have left home, or until they are all very happy with moving in.

You absolutely should hold firm on this boundary. And if your DP keeps pushing I do think you should walk away.

Well done for protecting your and your children's peace.

Dammit ‘HOBO sexual’. Stupid autocucumber making me look bigoted!

I completely agree with you. 9 months isn't long enough to make a decision like that, especially with children involved. And why would give up your lovely, little home which you own to go into rented accommodation anyway? That makes no sense. I'd be suspicious of your partner's motives.

It's way to much to soon. You've only been together 9 months. TBH, I would never live with another person again if I divorced.

Auto cucumber 😂😂😂

Sorry just seen your partner is a her and not a him but the same answer applies

Sounds like whatever the female version of a cocklodger is - I dunno a fannytenant maybe? Absolutely no.

The fact that she's pushing so hard despite your misgivings and your very valid position shows she's really not the type of person you want to live with.

Congrats on the lovely home you’ve made for yourself and dc, OP. Don’t do anything you don’t want to.

Gosh no, far too soon, but especially after a messy divorce and with a DC with additional needs!
I’ve been with my OH for 2 1/2 years and we are still a long way off moving in together. It would be a big upheaval for all of us and we have 4 DC between us.
I suspect your partner is thinking ‘Why am I spending money on rent when I could be living with ItsTheCoo not paying rent?’ rather than really wanting to live together.. I’d say pushing to live together this early is actually a big red flag. You would not be unreasonable to push back and break up if you feel she keeps pressuring you. Moving in together should be something exciting when you’re both ready and you clearly aren’t. That’s reasonable!

What's hobo sexual?

Absolutely do not do it, keep your own special place safe and special for your children only, and give them security

DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You're very clear about how you feel.

Your cherished home is to be protected at all costs.

Someone who loved you would absolutely understand this and not put any pressure on you to change things to suit them.