I don't want to live together.

[ItsTheCoo]

My partner of 9 months is pushing for us to live together and I simply don't want to. I had a messy divorce and now own a lovely little house with my children where we are very happy. Partner (f) lives in rented accommodation with their 2 children and wants us to rent together. Our children get on, but I think its too soon and I'm unsure if I ever want to live with a partner again. My partner is not happy about this but I just can't bear the thought of moving my 2 children (one with additional needs) out of our little bubble.

I'm considering walking away.

I'm on holiday with family friends (partner is at home), they've not been happy about me coming away and are now giving me the silent treatment 🙄

This is far too soon to move in together, and probably too soon to have kids know each other. It’s not likely to work out so they’ll be upset when you split. Which you really should do if she wants you to give up a home you own where you’re happy, to rent? That makes no financial sense for you.
Tell her no and prioritise your kids. You may decide differently in the future but if this isn’t right for you now, don’t let her pressure you into something that benefits her more than you.

Like a cocklodger. Essentially someone whose relationship choices are more about housing than about relationship.

Drop them like they’re hot.

What on earth are you thinking?!?!?

I wouldn't continue a relationship with someone that didn't accept my answer and kept trying to push their own agenda.

Keep your home for you and your children.

Why the rush? That would be my first question.

Maybe if you were two singles ,ally in love wanting to spend every single moment together. But as parents of four children? And why should you give up the security of owning your own home to move into unstable rented accommodation?

It’s been nine months. Maybe after 12 months you won’t even like her anymore. I would end the relationship. It’s like she wants to bring you to her ‘level’. Keep your independence and your children happy.

They are trying to strong arm you into loving to save money. They don’t give a shit about what’s best for the children.

that alone is a red flag. Let alone the attempts to pressure you.

She’s manipulative. When people show you who they are, believe them. Protective your peaceful and happy home with your children. She sounds abusive quite honestly

That would be enough for me to end things. You've already had a shitty divorce - get rid of the twat that thinks he can punish you by giving you the silent treatment.

And do not move a bloke into your lovely house that you own. This one sees you as a nanny with a fanny AND a purse. You'll be able to look after his kids (and him) whilst giving him a roof over his head to save him renting.

Nope.

The silent treatment is abusive..I think you're best on your own. She's not treating you very well.

Sorry, just seen partner is female. It's still a hard no from me.

Don't move a bloke OR a woman in. Particularly one that thinks the silent treatment means they get to have their own way.

I thought you meant I was attracted to homeless people for a minute 🙈

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

It just gets worse. If she loves you so much she would be happy you’re getting a break with family and friends (you’ve known longer than 9 months!)

It just smacks of jealousy, She’s jealous you’re on holiday, she’s jealous you have your own home and freedom. Defo a cocklodger.

Stick to your guns.

I don't know what I'm thinking! They do loads for me so I feel ungrateful.

Get rid ….

No OP. Getting a very happy household with kids with SEN is a tightrope and needs to be protected.

Tell her it's not happening ever and if she carries on pushing it then the relationship isn't going to continue.

Huge red flag - silent treatment because you are just living your life with people you've known a lot longer than 9 months? This is where it starts and it ends with isolating you from your entire support network because you know that seeing anyone else will create disapproval and it just becomes not worth it and you keep the peace ay great cost to you. Blended families can create chaos, moving in together after 9 months is super fast and you'd be giving up the security of your own home. I think you'd be out of your mind to do it. I'd be considering whether this whole relationship is good for you.

Blazing red flags here. I'm with you. I don't want to live with a partner ever again. At least not while my child is growing up. I love having my own space and independence and wouldn't give that up for anyone. Least not someone who's pressuring me into moving in after 9 months and sulking when I'm away with friends.

Time to move on from this one. 'They' are coercive and controlling and don't have your or your children's best interests at heart.

You're right, sorry, I wouldnt want to live with a man now, in my flat where my daughter lives

I like my own space - tell him your terms and see what he says

If youre thinking too end it, are you really happy with him anyway? Just because he's better than your ex, doesn't mean he's the one xx

Silent treatments is often the start of control and abuse 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

So what? Doing loads for you doesn’t give them free range to bully or pressure you into giving g up your safe space.

they could even be live bombing to create the obligation so you feel letting them move in is act of gratitude.

someone being nice to you doesn’t mean you should be a doormat. And silent treatment because of a family trip is a red siren. 🚨 🚨 🚨

come on OP listen to your gut. You know something isn’t right

Wow way too soon
and silent treatment??? LTB (leave the bitch)