How do I tell a man I want sex?

[Hmmmwhatshallipostabout]

I have met a guy online. Exchanged pictures of each other last week. We both feel something for each other and yesterday met up irl. It was a fantastic date, we got on so well. But at the end of the night he didn’t invite me back to his hotel room. I would definitely have gone back with him had he invited me but instead he took me to my station for me to catch the tube back home!

How do I now tell him for our next date I want to rip his clothes off and have mind blowing sex?
he never steers the conversation in flirty or dangerous territory so I feel it’s upon me to do so.

this is the first man I have spoken to since my separation from husband a year ago so I know alot of it has to do with that.

any helpful hints from you all in this predicament of mine are greatly appreciated!

'so, you gonna show me your hotel room'

On the date, give him an amazing mind blowing kiss and see if it leads anywhere.

I don’t mind making the first move sex related via talk but physically whether it’s kissing or more I’d enjoy and prefer if he made the initial moves.

Have you arranged the next date? Why did he get a hotel room? Could you just say, I’ll stay with you next time 😉

Could you just tell him? Wanting to have sex and expressing that desire is a good thing to do and having a conversation about sex before you have it is even better.
You could say: “I fancy the pants off of you. Shall we have a chat about STIs and safer sex before our next date?”

Slow down a bit, OP!

Will we order room service breakfast next time?

Get it girl ✨ just tell him !!!

Well that’s just it, he lives near Bournemouth and me London so he made the effort. We spent the whole day together but at the end it just fell flat.

Sounds like you’re cutting off your nose to spite your face.

If a woman posted here to say that a man she'd been on one date with had said this to her everyone would think he was a cheeky fucker. Being honest and open is great but this is massively presumptuous. Maybe op should find out first if he is actually attracted to her and up for sex?

I think I’m more confident typing it to him initially than to his face. Don’t want to be too obvious I want sex but veer it subtly towards it, I’m struggling with that!

He sounds like a date 3 (earliest) sex guy. You have to respect his timeliness too.

That did cross my mind that he’s not into me physically. It makes sense I suppose as to why he never took me to his room. I just hope it’s not that.

Slow down.

I don't think it's a bad thing that he's not pushing for sex, that's respectful. Can't you say 'I could come back to your hotel room next time' and see how he responds?

Well, she would find out if she asked him.

Also the OP wants to have sex with this person - why is it wrong to make that clear? If she’d like him to make the first move, she could say something like:
“I would like to (insert word for sex that she’s comfortable with) but I’d prefer you to take the lead/make the first move”.

But I’m from an uninhibited European country - and we like directness. ☺️

Why?

If you were men, (are there men on Mumsnet) sorry it’s my first post so unsure, but how would you feel if a woman implied she was open to take things further with you after a couple of dates?

I have, for a year. I want to have fun now and enjoy my life. Having sex, lots of it is high on my list!

Has he mentioned wanting to see you again?

Yes, when we were saying our goodbyes. Told him I’ll look forward to it and ended it with a hug.

Maybe he’s trying to be a gentleman and doesn’t want to scare you off 🤔 you could always ask what his rules are for sex when he meets someone new?

Have you been messaging today? I think if he’s keen you would be able to tell by the messages the next day eg sounding excited, compliments, arranging the next date.

Maybe hes keeping his options open? Is he sleeping with someone else whilst casually dating?