How do I tell a man I want sex?

[Hmmmwhatshallipostabout]

I have met a guy online. Exchanged pictures of each other last week. We both feel something for each other and yesterday met up irl. It was a fantastic date, we got on so well. But at the end of the night he didn’t invite me back to his hotel room. I would definitely have gone back with him had he invited me but instead he took me to my station for me to catch the tube back home!

How do I now tell him for our next date I want to rip his clothes off and have mind blowing sex?
he never steers the conversation in flirty or dangerous territory so I feel it’s upon me to do so.

this is the first man I have spoken to since my separation from husband a year ago so I know alot of it has to do with that.

any helpful hints from you all in this predicament of mine are greatly appreciated!

Ew, those men are gross.

This and your following posts show how naïve you are. You honestly believe these men have messaged, after you posted about wanting sex, to have a chat about coffee?

You are naïve. Glaringly so.

As I mentioned on a previous post, I'm male.

There are threads on here at least fortnightly questioning why men are allowed to post on Mumsnet, and there's usually a whole bunch of replies from women who have had pervy PMs from men on here in the past.

Those men are not good people, they're people who try to take advantage of a brilliant website just to get their kicks. They make it worse for everyone - the women who receive the PM, the mods who have to deal with their shit, and the other men on this site who just want to use an absolutely fantastic parenting resource.

You may not be vulnerable @Hmmmwhatshallipostabout , but plenty of women on here are, and the type of men who will be messaging you just because you've stated that you enjoy sex, will also be PM'ing the vulnerable women.

Slow down. He might prefer a slow burn to sex.

It has crossed my mind that there was no man from Bournemouth and the thread is really about inviting any men reading MN to fulfil her needs. 😂

👏

I’m always a little suspicious when a ‘woman’ starts a thread about how desperate she is for sex! Not saying it can’t be true but I bet some are possibly not as female as others 😂

This is so naive as to be quite alarming IMO. Have you been out the dating game for a very long time OP?

I hope things work out with the date guy, I would wait till the end of the next date and when you hug goodbye pull back a bit and look into his eyes. Stay like that for a minute and see if he leans in for a kiss. It won't get you into bed but it will move things along and I personally think one step at a time. What if he is a shit kisser or tastes disgusting?

So this is how it goes when someone goes against the grain. Thanks “ladies”

@Gymbunny2025
you sound very bitter indeed. I hope all is well with you x

@HerNotIndoorsAlltheTime
bless you for projecting.

@VimesandhisCardboardBoots
this is the most sensible post out of all the recent ones. It’s funny how a man is more supportive and kind with words than the women on here.

really is like a witches cauldron. Hear me loud, I love sex, I enjoy it therefore any man I have a relationship with whether it’s a fwb, fuck buddy or maybe at a stretch ltr will know my full intentions of my priorities.
some of you women on here are probably more reserved, pretend to be supportive but given time your true bitchy selves come out.

To think I just wanted a bit of advice about a recent situation.

be happy, take me out of your thoughts and stop having me live rent free in your heads.

ciao x

I think next date you have to flirt to the max, and personally I wouldn't wait to the end of the date. But neither would I do anything out of the ordinary by text - maybe be a bit more flirty? I've never said to a man I want sex, but I've never had to, because it's all in the body language and (massive generalisation) men generally want sex and very happy when they find a woman who wants it too.

Find any old reason to touch him as you speak, wipe away some (non-existent?) fluff from his jacket etc. Then I'd progress to the whole 'gaze into his eyes as he speaks, then drop your glance to his lips then back to his eyes again' thing so he knows you are up for a snog and let that lead into a good old pash. So ideally, you want to be somewhere like a pub where you can sit next to him, rather than a restaurant where you are separated by a table.

Chances are then high you will end up in bed. I've never failed, and I am old. It's all in the flirt and the eye contact.

It's quite sad that you feel the need to be rude to posters who've been honest and tried to help you.

Is it really good behaviour to call posters 'bitchy selves' when they are trying to give an honest opinion?

Mostly, we've all said the same thing and I've emphasised that you should be honest with this man to ensure you're on the same page.

My experience of OLD is limited to what friends have done and told me.
Having helped a few with their profiles, I know it's standard to be honest about what you want - either a hook-up, FWB or a serious relationship.

You've made it clear here that you don't want a LTR . That's 100% fine. But PLEASE don't string this guy along. He's already spent a good chunk of money on seeing you. If all you want is sex, choose one of the many sites people use.

That way, you won't get into lengthy chats, develop 'feelings for each other' through phone calls. You'll just meet, have a drink and have sex.

Hard to know if you're confused over what you really want.

I’m talking about this bitchy post of yours. Not the advice you’ve parted with.
it’s funny how you’ve glossed over it in your reply to me.

It was a joke.
You've had a sense of humour fail.

Please don't use bitch towards me- mods don't like it.

Do not say this. Utter cringe.

I think you’re being a bit up yourself thinking you are living rent free in people’s head, you’re not that interesting 😄. No judgement about wanting sex for sex’s sake though as long as both know it.

"really is like a witches cauldron."

😂

I think you mean "coven".

Do you only want sex or a relationship with him? Take your time. A man will let you know if he wants to have sex/ relationship or both. You sound both modern and traditional. Want it but can't ask for it. Or initiate. Decide which you want to be ?

Gosh this is continuing. I actually think OP is now being facetious. I don’t believe a woman would be so crass in real life. I fancy my partner enormously but I respect myself more. We DTD after 9 months are more in love than ever and he seriously worships the ground I walk on (and viceversa). I showed him this thread and he was horrified and he’s a good looking and successful man who could have many women but finds this extremely off putting. OP, you will put him off even as FWB. Please stop this and delete this thread.

Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and owlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

😂

9 months?!

Wow. That is some commitment to making sure. More a 2nd/3rd date kinda woman myself 😂

I’m not sure witch is an insult? Weren’t they just persecuted women who were murdered by men. Seems an odd insult for a woman to use against other women…

You’re ridiculous. And calling a woman crass because she loves and wants sex? That comment says a whole lot about you and nothing about the OP at all.

Someone I dated worded it perfectly in a text

I'd invited him to my house (before going out to lunch) and felt I needed to make clear that didn't mean I was up for sex. (I worded it better than that 😆)

His reply included something like obviously that was fine, he hadn't assumed, for the record he was ready when I was BUT NOT A SECOND BEFORE. And I really appreciated that.

He let me know that he did feel ready, when I was.

There was a recent thread about Sex Clubs (FoxDen or something similar), would this be something you’re interested in OP? Apparently it’s all carefully regulated around consent and safety, and at least all participants have the same intentions??

What was your vibe from him when you parted? Do you think he wanted to be reassured by you with the ‘out of your league’ comments as maybe he felt a bit intimidated? Perhaps he didn’t want to initiate anything flirty in case you weren’t feeling it face to face and he felt rejected after blowing cash on a hotel?

If he’s texted you back seeming keen I’d give it another whirl and ramp up the vamp this time!